My son is currently a Junior at a large public university. He did very well in high school and had a high GPA. He was also very involved in extracurriculars and sports. However, without the structure of high school he is now struggling to even take 2 classes a semester. He has gained weight, sleeps all day, doesn’t attend class, is also not involved in any extracurriculars, and is likely smoking marijuana regularly. He also is showing signs of anxiety and depression.
We have tried therapy, medication, sleep doctors, coaches, and various parenting strategies. I was wondering if anyone else has a child / student with these issues if they have any suggestions on how to help. Are there any summer or semester long programs that involve a psychological and executive functioning component to help college students get back on track? I know my son is capable, I feel like he just needs a push to get him back on the right path and motivate him.
Any suggestions or thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated!
I know that there are executive function coaches. I have not used one, but I have corresponded with a parent who did on an email loop. A lot would depend on where you are located.
You don’t say if your son is living at home or away at college. My suggestion would be that if he is living away, that he take a break & come home for a while. Don’t take a break from classes, but rather, take a couple of gen-ed’s at a C.C. And work on the other issues. With the right therapist & Exec. Function Coach, he can get back on track. One of my kids had worked with a coach & it helped tremendously.
I have had the same issues when I first started college and it was so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I know college is suppose to be the time of your life but sometimes when you are in a completely different situation and there are totally different pressures to deal with it gets hard for anyone to deal with. What I did, I took a semester off and came home to evaluate why I came to college in the first place and what I wanted. I think your son just needs time to figure himself out and someone tell him he is capable and that he is smart. Health is always first I have learned. After I got myself together I have a completely different attitude now and different goals.
Your son is capable, he just needs time to adjust and know what he wants.
Thank you for your helpful and encouraging comments. To answer AvgMom’s previous question we are located in the Maryland area and my son lives on campus about a 30 min drive away. We did try a center last year called, THRIVE (http://www.mythrive.net/). This seemed like it might be the right type of program, but this center specifically just wasn’t the right fit. But if anyone happens to know of a similar program or center that you think would be worth looking into please let me know. I will also look into that landmark program.
If you are in the part of MD near DC, there should be lots of resources. It’s always worth repeating that the pre-frontal cortex responsible for executive functioning tasks doesn’t mature until the mid-20’s. So there is no reason not to provide all the support a student needs in the late teens - early 20’s. They do still need help & support. There is no benefit I can see of telling the student they should be able to handle it all on their own. I think it’s best to focus on incremental progress. Even if he is taking only 1 class a semester. Eventually, he will get there. Nutrition & exercise is very important. Again, incremental progress - it will all come together if he keeps putting one foot in front of the other. I think Confusious said, “The journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.” There is an inspiring TED talk by Amy Cuddy. She suffered brain damage in an accident & it took her 8 years to graduate from college. She just kept chugging along, even though it was at a slower pace.