Here’s my current situation.
Freshman year of college went well for me. I got a 3.775 GPA first semester (Gen Chem 1, Calc II, Intro Computing, English Seminar) and a 3.925 GPA second semester (Stats/Probability, Gen Chem 2, Intro Econ, Intro Psych).
This year, I’m taking Intro Bio, Orgo, English Poetry, and a language class.
However, organic chemistry is singlehandedly making me reconsider my medical school plans. They weren’t very solid plans to begin with. I was just following the predetermined path to avoid genuinely considering my future career, since it was scary to think about. (I’m a lot better at studying than deciding on my future.)
I haven’t gotten far into Organic Chem, but my self awareness tells me that I don’t understand everything. Even while attending my professor’s office hours and studying consistently every day, I doubt I’ll be able to get an A-. I’m terrified of losing all the progress I made since freshman year, and more importantly, I don’t know if I have the endurance to work at my full capacity for the rest of my life. Which is essentially necessary as a doctor.
While I do genuinely find medicine and human biology interesting, I’m not certain I can handle getting average or subpar grades, as a perfectionist. If I mess up once, I don’t know if I’ll have the motivation to pick myself up again. I acknowledge that failure is inevitable and actually facilitates personal growth sometimes, but I feel like the pressure I put on myself to avoid failure is what allows me to succeed.
Any advice, consolation, or insight on organic chemistry (or life success in general) would be appreciated.
@bodangles not really, to be honest. I don’t like straying from the textbook or our given worksheets/resources since most exam material tends to come from those 2 sources, based on my experiences from other classes
I am going to tell you what I have told my own daughter when she is panicked that she might get less than an A on an exam or in a course. “Your head will not blow off if you don’t get an A.” Whether you end up going on to medical school or not, you are not going to be able to quit every little thing in life that you perceive won’t turn out as perfectly as you wish. That is true for courses, degree programs, friendships, jobs, and marriages. When faced with a challenge, you have to find your resources and figure out how to deal with your problem. @bodangles asks an important question, and even though you did not need other resources last year for your courses, you might for this course, and now would be a great time to figure out what those are. Study groups, online lessons, the campus academic support center, whatever it takes.
You might also want to spend some time at your school’s career center and do some career exploration. This might help you to figure out what you want to do and whether or not the path you are on right now is the right one for you.
My D, who did very well in organic chemistry, swears that outside resources to supplement the textbook and lectures were very important for her. The material won’t “stray” in that the topics are the topics are the topics, but sometimes being presented in different ways or having different practice questions can help the light go on for you.
**Visit your school's career center ASAP**. You do *not* want to put yourself through all the pre-med pre-reqs, the MCAT, applications, and interviews--not even speaking on med school itself--if medicine isn't absolutely your calling. The amount of stress you'll put yourself through *far* outweighs the stress of "genuinely considering your future career." In fact, if you want to avoid making huge life decisions, it's a bigger decision--requiring more time, money, and effort--to stay on the pre-med track than it is to leave it.
**Don't worry about getting an A or A-.** Seriously. As a fellow perfectionist, I can tell you: the pressure you put on yourself to avoid failure is *only* making you waste your time and energy on something that isn't as important as you think. Even if you get all A+'s, it's eventually going to lead to burnout. You're right that you don't have the endurance to work at your full capacity for the rest of your life; no one does. Even doctors need to accept that mistakes will happen and use them as motivation to learn and improve *without* beating themselves up.
**Practice problems.** Organic Chemistry is one of those subjects where you need to do countless practice problems to cement the concepts in your mind. That's why bopper's book recommendation is a good one (though I didn't find it helpful, personally). The more you do it, the faster it will click. Also, using the textbook and worksheets is good for the problems, but if you're having difficulty understanding the *concepts*, sometimes outside resources explain them best.
Why not use all the available resources (tutoring, study groups, office hours, etc) and do your best, and you should be able to get a B if chem 1 and 2 were easy for you. If you do your best and still can’t get a high enough GPA after all, then make other plans. You might change your plans anyway, you are only in your second year.
Physics can also be hard so you will just have to see how things go.
OrganicChem/Lab seems to be a weed-out class. I have never seen my D so anxious as she was when in the class. To that point, it was the most difficult/time consuming class she had ever taken (in her words). She managed an A and her prof keep assuring her she was doing fine but she spent hours upon hours studying for that one class every week in order to keep her grade up. If you got an 89 on that first exam, keep up the good work! My bet is you are going to be fine
Organic is a weed-out class and notoriously hard everywhere. A B or even C is not going to knock you out of going to medical school. Obamacare might though.
Have you tried any other resources besides your prof and whatever textbook you’re using?