<p>After we dropped off d, we took a mini-vacation in the area. We picked up some needed items and stopped back to the campus on our way home. This way, we gave time to d to settle in, partake with all orientation activities and stayed out of her way. And yet we were still able to get all those last minute items that she needed as we did make a short return visit a few days later.
If you can plan a "mini-vacation" for yourself for 2 or 3 days, it will give you the opportunity to stay near by for a few extra days and still be in the general area just in case your son really does needs to get some last minute items for the dorm.</p>
<p>S1-S3 were not really long distance, 2-4 hours away, and there were no specific instructions. However, they were ready to get on with college life and were more than ready to have DH leave after he moved them in. DD was long distance. At her school they specifically called the kids away after lunch on move in day. You did not see your kid again after that. This was expalined in the materials we received for move in. </p>
<p>You can find that information on line usually. For the long distance we flew early Saturday and used the rest of Saturday to shop. We had pre-ordered most things from BB&B and only had pick up there and grocer/pharmacy items to finish up. Move in was Sunday AM. There were welcomed events for parents after the kids left and we did not want to take a late flight so we stayed over and returned on Monday. Odd not seeing her Sunday night, but we had a quiet dinner together.</p>
<p>Once you move 'em in on drop off day, you really want to get out of there and let them start figuring out college for themselves. Go early if you need to do shopping errands.</p>
<p>For #s 2 and 3, move in was one day; the convocation for new students was the following morning followed by the designated parent good-bye time. For the opposite coast college, we flew in on Thursday, shopped Friday, move in was Saturday and convocation Sunday. We also did the mini vacation thing.
For #1 it was just a quick unload the stuff as she was off to the pre-orientation trip.</p>
<p>just be sure you have a list of what you want to buy. When we moved our D to Boston we spent many hours trying to find simple things like a fan. Every store was sold out. You said Oregon and I do not know exactly where your student is going but you can order whatever you need and cannot bring at Beds Bath and Beyond and just pick it up more locally. (wish that had been available when D moved into her college in Boston and store after store was empty). I agree about waiting to get the schedule. Also, do spent an extra day looking around-if you do, you will be more comfortable when you visit in the future. I moved my D into Middlebury in Feb. (she transferred so I got to do it 2x's in just a few months!!!) and stayed 2 nights in town and then the 4th night in Burlington (H was home with S) and it so paid off in the familiarity when we visited in the future. It was also one of the saddest times of my life but I did get over it.....</p>
<p>Booklady: They do have the option of coming a couple days early for the orientation instead of attending one of the ones in June/July. We opted to go twice because my husband wants to attend the orientation and see the school and the area. He can't go in September.</p>
<p>I spent way to much at the outlet mall in Salem last visit LOL. MOntana doesn't have sales tax either so that was no big deal. I still hate not being able to pump my own gas in Oregon.</p>
<p>I have a son at USC in LA and his twin brother is at Oregon State in Corvallis. Sneak out to the coast by Newport if you can. Great spot</p>
<p>This thread actually made me cry :( It all seems so real now...</p>
<p>singermom:</p>
<p>Another reason to get out of there. It's hard on both students and parents. My experience was that you want to say your goodbyes and move along.</p>
<p>BTW, the last thing freshman guys want is mom hanging around "decorating" the dorm room.</p>
<p>The summer orientation sounds like the UW (Madison, Wis, not WA) one- there was an excellent parents' session, separate from the students, which gave tons of info and a chance to experience the campus. Move in days are a zoo (UW dorms have 2 designated days)- do not expect to help your child set up his room, he won't want you to and there will be plenty of help if they loft beds, etc. An OOS mom I met on CC flew into O'Hare, rented a car with H and S, and spent the day before getting preordered stuff from Bed Bath and Beyond plus the local discount stores to move her son in the same day mine did (at a different dorm, mine for his second year)- we had talked and as I expected, we did not arrive in Madison until she had left to get back to the airport (we both had agreed that our respective H's might not understand why we would want to get together anyhow). I have yet to meet son's roommates, much less their parents. I only see his place on move in/move out days- it is his life, not mine (as the chauffeur the parent doing the job sits and waits in the car for his rare trips home). Welcome Week is for the students, they are no longer part of a family package, another sign of adulthood you get used to. Check with him before you make any Parents Weekend plans, the school may have one but you may not be welcomed by your son, it all depends on the school.</p>
<p>I'm glad you are attending the sumer session- both for your H's sake and so he can do it in advance of his move in- it will help him know what to bring and ease his anxiety about his college life to come. That would be the ideal time to explore the area, a lot less hectic than when the dorms open and the students swarm the area.</p>
<p>Once he is there do not try to call him very often- use e-mail whenever possible. That gives him time to "talk" when he is ready to/in the mood to and yet you can send many info filled messages without embarrassing him by interrupting his classes/social life/dinner/sleep...your mom called again? I tend to use the phone (voice mail a lot) when I don't get the info I need via an e-mail (such as what time do you want to be picked up tomorrow?). There have been "mothers of sons" comments on CC threads that show the vast differences in girls and boys communication styles (they don't want to talk any more away from home than at home).</p>
<p>The main thing to keep in mind is the need to be flexible. Go with a tentative plan, but be prepared to adjust. Try to take the clues from your kids and go with the flow. It's exciting and stressful and emotional and a little bit scary all in one. It will also be the hottest day of the year.:) The more relaxed and adaptable you are, the more positive experience for everyone.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Once he is there do not try to call him very often- use e-mail whenever possible. That gives him time to "talk" when he is ready to/in the mood to and yet you can send many info filled messages without embarrassing him by interrupting his classes/social life/dinner/sleep...your mom called again?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Agreed. I don't think I called our D more than one or two times in four years at college...always with a specific purpose to confirm an arrival or something. Her calling home ebbed and flowed over the years, actually increasing as the years went by. She often called while walking across campus to dinner.</p>
<p>From her Dean at parents orientation: a sure-fire way to get a call from your student is to send a letter saying you are enclosing a check for $100 for dinner at a restaurant... and then don't enclose the check!</p>
<p>He also told the story of the parents who arrived at orientation, parked their Winnebago on campus, and apparently never planned to leave.</p>
<p>^^Wow^^</p>
<p>My son's Dean told the same stories at Parent Orientation last year. They must read it in the Dean's Newsletter.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The main thing to keep in mind is the need to be flexible.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Since it will be the hottest day of the year, I recommend that you always confirm where the next errand will take you and what the plan is after that.</p>
<p>For example:</p>
<p>"Let's go pick up my key, now..."</p>
<p>"Where is that..."</p>
<p>"At the top of that really steep hill..."</p>
<p>"Where are we going after that?"</p>
<p>"To the dorm...."</p>
<p>"OK, there's no point in all of us walking up the hill. I'll go get the car and wait for you at the dorm (while I sit in the air conditioned car)."</p>
<p>They will run you ragged dragging you around campus like a little puppy if you don't!</p>
<p>Hey, Deans have conventions and trade magazines, too!</p>
<p>We call our son once a week late Sunday mornings. I don't think that's excessive, and I like to hear his voice once in a while. On his own he'd never call us. I sent occasional e-mails or IMs mostly for computer help!</p>
<p>We negotiated an informal arrangement when we dropped her off. We wouldn't pester her if she would call us once a week or so. That got everybody through freshman year and, after that, things just took care of themselves.</p>
<p>I didn't think college kids even knew what a Sunday morning was!</p>
<p>Why do I keep reading CC threads that bring tears to my eyes?</p>
<p>I really just wanted to thank everyone for the bucking up. My oldest is headed off next year to a place that wasn't looking very promising last fall when my office consulted me about when to schedule THE MOST IMPORTANT MEETING OF THE YEAR. Of course it turns out now it is exactly on his move-in day, so only he and my husband will make the trip. I'm trying to convince myself it isn't that big a deal to miss this event, but how do I say good-bye to my boy in my driveway? (I'm already planning to go to the parents weekend four weeks later, but that is only occasionally comforting.)</p>
<p>i moved in on thursday. we got there on tuesday to go shopping. my mom stayed until sunday, kinda too long though. she coulda just left on friday or saturday morning. but it was good though.</p>
<p>Ahhh...memories! D1 had to be at school early for sports. We are OOS so it was a long trip with two cars full of "essential" items. Moved her in, made several shopping trips to Wal-Mart throughout the afternoon and then rushed to parent/athlete welcome dinner. Ate and then coach spoke...after his welcome he turns to parents and says..."Kids need to leave immediately and get changed for a little five mile run and meet at the stadium in 20 minutes. Say your good-byes now and the clock is ticking." Kids scrambled and parents left quickly...message was received by all!</p>