<p>I wasn't shy at all when I was little--my parents used to have to be careful because I would strike up a conversation with annnyone and they were afraid that someone would abduct me or something. Then middle school came along.....in fact, it started around fourth grade I think. I moved and, shocker, had no real friends in my cliquey new class. Also in my new school it was weird that I read constantly and wasn't interested in LeoDi or Titanic. My self-esteem was very low through middle school and even high school, although it has slowly picked up from freshman year on. </p>
<p>I remember that when I participated in the Day of Silence my freshman year, a few people who had classes with me joked that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference, whereas some people who knew me better joked that there was no way I could go without talking for an entire day. I was talkative with my friends, but painfully uncomfortable in social situations with other kids--and I mean painfully! I actually talked to a therapist about it a couple of times, but she was a useless drip and I gave up on her entirely. </p>
<p>I still blame middle school for everything. My self-esteem was so destroyed by those years. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in my old school where I was friends with everyone and had a close best friend (with whom I'm still very close), but of course then I wouldn't be where I am today. </p>
<p>These days I have relaxed a lot (due to this year's exchange in South America--tons of other exchangers have been telling me recently how much calmer and more comfortable I seem with myself these days). I think I'm mostly back to my regular extroverted self and I'm more comfortable in a lot of social situations. Part of it is that I've learned that it's ok for some people not to like me, and part of it is that I'm just more comfortable with myself. I feel like myself again...</p>