<p>I'm getting lots of negative feedback, mostly from students I've spoken to, about overnight college visits, including stories of very hard partying or, more commonly, being deposited in an otherwise empty dorm room and ignored. Even my college age daughter, who has served as a host herself, advises against letting my younger daughter visit colleges as an overnight guest. Any anecdotes or opinions, particularly regarding overnight stays at LACs, would be appreciated.</p>
<p>MG - IMO an overnight visit is to college what a driver’s license test is to driving … i.e., something more likely to highlight “bad” than to validate “good.”</p>
<p>As an alternate to your overnight visit inquiry, why not poll CC parents on this:
“Did your child do an overnight visit at the college they attended? (Y/N)<br>
Regardless, did they enjoy their college experience?”</p>
<p>I’ll start:
D#1 - No overnight, but thoroughly enjoyed the college.
D#2 - No overnight, but (also) thoroughly enjoyed the college.</p>
<p>It seems hard to imagine how you would obtain objective information about a college based on an overnight visit. It seems it would be heavily skewed depending on the random good or bad luck of your host, which may reflect nothing about one’s own experience at the school. It would be especially a shame if one ruled out a great school on the basis of a bad overnight visit (which I think would be hard for a student to overcome).</p>
<p>DS - overnight, in Pittsburgh, on the Sunday the Steelers won the Superbowl. Not a typical experience! (Although it did happen again while he was in college.) I think he slept in and missed all the morning activities the next day, which was typical.
He was pretty sure he wanted to attend that school already and the visit did not change his mind. It did give him the chance to wander around on his own and get the feel of the campus and students without any filters.</p>
<p>I’ll come in on the other side of this one. For my D, tours/info sessions were a waste of time (“Blah, blah, blah!”); she needed to interact with the students. She did 2 overnights, one formal (set up by the school) & another informal (friend of her brother). The formal one–she said she had a great time, her host took her a class, dinner in the freshman cafeteria with friends, an evening tutoring/study section, and the dorm had a pumpkin decorating party that night. Came out liking the people, but for some reason not the school (“They’re fine, but it’s just not me”). The second–similar in that they went to dinner, hung out in the dorm, & went to a couple classes–it’s where she’s going.</p>
<p>Even at other schools we visited, she had a much better idea after going to lunch or hanging out with the students. In her experience, the “Lunch with a student” usually turned into “Lunch with a student, then class, then hanging out”; one time we had to call and say, “Look, we have to leave for the airport now; where are you??!!” </p>
<p>IMO, it’s better than choosing someplace based on the website+info session+tour with 50 other people given by someone walking backward for an hour.</p>
<p>D1 attended a formal overnight set up by the school. It was for female students only. She totally loved it. The school was #1 on her list anyway, but after the visit, she was 100% positive that she wanted to attend. She will be moving in to the school in 2 weeks to start her freshman year.</p>
<p>DD went on overnight visits to two schools after acceptance. In her opinion…if they can’t “get it right” during a planned dog and pony show…what will they do on a day to day basis. One of the visits was absolutely horrid. Clearly the school didn’t “vet” the overnight hosts very well…DD’s abandoned her…not exactly a good ambassador for the school (and DD put that CLEARLY on her evaluation…and said she was not choosing the school based on her experience).</p>
<p>Having said that…DD then became a student ambassador and worked in the admissions office at her college. She also developed and directed one of the accepted student programs for her college. I don’t believe it involved an overnight but it did involve “shadowing” another student for a full day including attending classes and everything in between.</p>
<p>We insisted our kid do an overnight at the schools…yes we knew it was orchestrated but her colleges were thousands of miles from home and we wanted her to have a “feel” anyway for what she was going to do.</p>
<p>I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum on this. I can’t imagine letting a kid enroll in a college at which (s)he hasn’t spent a week end night. </p>
<p>I’ll admit though that my offspring already knew the hosts. They were kids who had gone to the same high school and participated in the same EC. </p>
<p>The majority of kids I know who ended up miserable and unhappy in college were miserable for social reasons. So, to me, it makes sense to “kick the tires” of the social life. Additionally, I think the most accurate, unbiased info about the college came from kids my offspring met at parties. Tour guides are chosen by the colleges to say good things about them. At parties, you’ll meet kids who are trying to transfer–and who will tell you why. </p>
<p>Seriously, kids rule out colleges because of tour guides all the time. Is it worse to rule out colleges because of overnight hosts? I don’t think so. A kid with half a brain should be able to put aside his reaction to a school-selected host and focus on other things. Is the dorm noisy and out of control? Are there people out and about on campus? Does your kid feel safe walking around? Taking a shower? </p>
<p>I prefer week end nights–many colleges won’t let you stay on an official over night visit on a weekend, so yes, we made our own arrangements. It probably helped that the hosts were not only kids my offspring knew, they were kids in the same EC and so, at least to some extent, they were kids who hung out with the same kind of kids in high school.</p>
<p>D1 refused to do overnights and we were fine with that (maybe she should have; was kind of surprised when she got to her school with the student body personality as a whole)</p>
<p>D2 demanded to do overnights; would not make a decision without it at her top school; it was terrific…organized informally through a college organization; attending there as a freshman in 21 days (OMG!!!)</p>
<p>“For my D, tours/info sessions were a waste of time (“Blah, blah, blah!”); she needed to interact with the students.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t agree more. I forced D#1 to attend one info session … D#2 didn’t attend any. The time on campus was spent walking around, talking with students and professors, touring the academic buildings, having students show us their dorm rooms, eating in the cafeteria, and reading Bulletin Boards. None of this requires an overnight … or an info session.</p>
<p>Suggestion: If you want an indication of how the college/university treats students, go to the Infirmary and speak with the staff there.</p>
<p>During the college search phase, my kid did three overnight visits.</p>
<p>The first was a Hillel-sponsored prospective student Shabbat. She did not wind up applying to that school, but had a nice experience. I think the fact that it was a specific organization with a specific program of activities helped.</p>
<p>The second was an informal overnight with a former camp counselor who was a sophomore at the college in question. Obviously, this girl didn’t abandon her since she’d invited her to come! She brought her along to classes, introduced her to the rabbi, took her to eat in the cafeteria: a good experience overall. (She’s going to this school.)</p>
<p>The third was also an informal overnight which she arranged through another former camp counselor. The counselor herself wasn’t available to host her, but set her up with a friend. It happened to be the admitted students weekend with a special Shabbat at Hillel for admitted students, but my daughter, as a prospective student, got to go along on these activities. She had a great time. (She went back to the same school as an admitted student and by coincidence wound up being housed with the same host.)</p>
<p>My own college search experience consisted of a road trip staying in dorm rooms of my sister and her high school classmates. It absolutely helped me figure out where I wanted to go to school. A very good experience–but each time, I arranged directly with hosts whom I knew and who were willing to host me.</p>
<p>My kids were terrible about doing any kind of interacting with students when we went on tours, so overnights ensured that they got a better sense of what students were like besides what they were wearing in the cafeteria. While I thought it was weird that one host took them bowling (uh we’re here for the campus!) for the most part they had decent hosts who introduced them to other students and gave them a decent sense of how much studying vs partying would be going on. (My computer geek son, stayed with a group of 4 - the three drama students played video games with him till the wee hours of the morning the computer science student had to excuse himself to finish his problem set. Which reflected reality pretty well!)</p>
<p>The poster mini says you should visit on Thursday night and see if the partying starts early.</p>
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<p>Totally agree…if you don’t know anyone to do an overnight with, a great idea is to go to lunch/dinner. We went to a preview and stayed in a hotel. On our 2nd day, DS met up with a student he had contacted online (in charge of a particular program) and had breakfast. DS also got to attend a class. Very helpful.</p>
<p>My son did three overnights at his top three choices, and it did influence his final decision. He knew nobody at any of the campuses, but was treated well by his hosts and he was able to interact with lots more students and do ordinary things. He determined that one school did not value club sports nearly enough, and that was important to him. He crossed that one off the list. He loved the other two and could see himself at both places, the final decision was tough, but he went with the one where he felt most at home. </p>
<p>As freshmen, he and his roommate were overnight hosts. They had a close-knit dorm section of gregarious kids, so when one of them had to study or go somewhere the guest wasn’t interested in going, they handed him off to someone doing something more up his alley. Being handed off can be enlightening, and tell you a lot about the school culture.</p>
<p>Overnights were extremely helpful, but my son was looking at all LACs. I imagine that visiting overnight at a huge state university might be more of a crap-shoot, but still very eye-opening, much more so than those info sessions!</p>
<p>Mine did an overnight at one college (Grinnell). I can’t say it was particularly helpful, though it was kind of novel for them to spend the night.</p>
<p>What was more helpful was when we knew students at a school who could take them around. This was hugely helpful at Bryn Mawr where Bromfield’s absolutely delightful D took my D around for the evening (though she didn’t spend the night) - it dispelled her fears about women’s colleges and helped “prime” her to be receptive to other women’s colleges.</p>
<p>I did an overnight at Brandeis and loved it (and wound up attending for a year, hosting my own admitted student for her overnight - she’ll be attending this fall). I think the experience depends on how much there is to do, and if there is any planned structure to it. I actually became good friends with one of the kids in my group, and we’re still close to this day. It was definitely a positive experience.</p>
<p>DS1 did three overnights during the school year and one in a summer recruiting event put on by the university. Three were pre-acceptance; one was post-acceptance.</p>
<p>What I loved is that he left each with definite feelings.</p>
<p>1) The summer program at huge State U: This was a safety school, and he loved it. I think I was the one happiest about that outcome.</p>
<p>2) Midwestern LAC during year, pre-acceptance: This was his second visit. He had a good time but didn’t really find his people. Was accepted, didn’t go.</p>
<p>3) Small private uni during school year: This was his no. 1 choice going in, but the overnight wasn’t great. Much he didn’t like, but he knew it was a great school and the lackluster host wasn’t enough to make him cross it off his list. It did, however, take the sting out of getting WL’d there. :)</p>
<p>4) Midwestern LAC, post-acceptance: This was his second visit, and he had a great overnight. Tight-knit floor so that when his host had orchestra practice, he just handed ds off to someone else. Definitely his people. Left convinced this was the place. We did, however, revisit college no. 1 above because a series of mtgs had been set up already. While he still loved the safety, he knew he belonged at school no. 4.</p>
<p>Because his school is more than 1,000 miles away, I wouldn’t have let him pick the school without an overnight. He/we really needed to know this was the place.</p>
<p>Two thoughts - </p>
<p>Just to show that different kids/families are different - we did formal info sessions and tours at all schools, and very little informal discussions with students we met. This worked for us (first D and I, then two years later S and I). Neither I nor my kids were the type to strike up those informal conversations. That said, we visited almost all small LACs and in spite of the similarities we were able to pick up differences and get a sense of what felt right and what did not.</p>
<p>On the overnight front, D did not even consider any overnights. S had a school chosen for ED, and at the last minute decided he wanted to do an overnight there. It was a good one - he liked the host, the school, the activities, having lunch with another student he has known most of his life, etc. But two days after returning home, he decided to apply ED where his sister was (and where his overnight visit had been a visit to her a long time before with no thought that he might attend there). Go figure.</p>
<p>Both are absolutely certain they made the right choice.</p>
<p>My D did an overnight at a strong contender to which she was later accepted with a large scholarship. By staying overnight, she realized that the school did not provide the learning atmosphere that she assumed it did based on her research and information session. When it was time to make her decision and she had to choose between her safety and this school, she chose the safety. If it hadn’t been for the overnight, she might have chosen that school, and now, two major changes later, it is clear that school would not have been the right fit for her.</p>
<p>I think a lot of it depends on the kid and how comfortable they are staying with someone they do not know at all. D1 only did overnights with HS friends, etc. D2 would probably be fine doing an overnight with someone she did not know. Just their different natures. Visits always seem to work best when the school tries to find something in common between the prospect and the host (eg sport, EC, major), but that cannot always be possible.</p>