I am a proponent of the overnights for the sake of experiencing the look and culture of the college/university, but for one overnight my daughter had nearly the identical experience as did the daughter of @twoinanddone . My daughter was DONE after that visit, and instituted a no-holds-barred game of chicken with us when, the next year, her sister thought she might apply.
Her experience was such a turn-off for her I came to CC, reached out to one of the only people I was familiar with who I could see was still up at that hour, and sought consult.
This was, OP, for my family, a most unusual experience and outcome, but it can happen.
Positively, the young students can meet many, many people just like themselves, share their stories, goals and experiences, and find that as the college- and scholarship- process for HS seniors ramps up, they run into the same people quite often, who become an instant source of support and familiarity.
You know, the Smith visit wasn’t a terrible thing. I think it showed the school as it was, and it was not for D! I wish I’d prepared her a little more for how much older the college freshmen and sophomores were, even though they were just 1-2 years older than D. I didn’t realize how unprepared she was.
On a surprise ‘small world’ note, she did meet a girl who we’d met on a trip to China about 6 years earlier.
My advice is that if the visit is going terribly, to reach out to the admissions office or something to get a different person if necessary. Or if there is someone else you get along with if the original person ditches you, hang out with them (while informing the original person)
When I was in college I worked in the education office that set up overnights for potential education majors. I wasn’t involved other than hosting students who came early until their host was available. However I remember one day i was called around 4. The person who came to visit had gone with the student and somehow hated what the college student had planned for the night and went to the education office crying. While I doubt my floor was comfortable and I was studying for a big test, the student was much happier that we stayed in that night.