<p>DH and I are taking our daughter for two overnight visits (Hendrix and Rhodes) later this week and I'm not sure what to expect. She has been told to bring a sleeping bag and pillow. She will go to some classes the next morning and then meet with the admissions counselor and the financial aid people. For those of you whose children have already done overnight college visits, what do DH and I do? Do we meet up with her when it's time to meet with the admissions and financial aid people? What kind of information should DD have with her? How did your children feel about staying overnight with complete strangers? I would be happy to have as much insight as possible for you experienced folks. Thanks so much!</p>
<p>When D did her overnights, my duties mostly consisted of dropping her off and picking her up the next day. She basically slept on the dorm floor of her host student, went to her host student's classes, got to know the suitemates, and basically hung out and got a feel for the place.</p>
<p>As for staying overnight with complete strangers, get used to it. Because this time next year you are going to drop her off at college where she will spend every night with what are now complete strangers. It's almost college time, so getting her feet wet with the experience of a dorm full of strangers is a good thing.</p>
<p>The meeting with Admissions happened on another visit, so I can't advise how that blended in with the overnight. I would call the Admissions office and ask whether this is a routine Admissions session that parents are welcome to attend or some special session for overnighters only.</p>
<p>My duties were also dropping off and picking up. My daughter was less than enthused about seeing classes and the cell that she had at the time did not work at one of the colleges, so I did a lot of checking in - meeting her on the quad at certain times to see if she was ready to go. I did shopping, pix taking, drove around the towns a little. Both of her overnights were schools that we had visited on the big summer trip. They had made the final cut for ED, and she was deciding between them - I did not repeat info sessions, I did take the tour twice - I'm wierd, I like taking the tours. At one school it was cold and threatening rain, so my "tour" was a walk around campus and one-on-one chat with a lovely young lady from Ariz who had family ties to my city. It is a small world.</p>
<p>DD was a little shy about attending classes, although she admitted it was somewhat helpful - she went to the same class at both schools. Talking to the kids was the most useful.</p>
<p>Like the others, although I think they said it a little differently, my "duties" were to stay out of the way. As to how S felt, I think he was a little nervous only when there was a glitch in getting a hold of his host after we arrived on campus. Walking and standing around with "Mom" on a college campus evening was not his idea of <em>cool.</em> But as soon as he reached his host, he was off and running. I did some checking out of the campus, since we pretty well knew this was going to be his choice - what banks/ATMs were available, cell phone reception, checked out arrangements for music practice rooms for him while he was at classes, etc. He was invited to stay for a second night, which worked with our plane reservations. The only time I saw him was when he came to my hotel to take a nap while his host was in a 4-hour run of classes/labs. Guess we know there wasn't a lot of sleeping done on that floor. ;)</p>
<p>My son did an overnight at Georgia Tech as part of the "Connect with Tech" program. We were separated at a late afternoon program and didn't come back together again until the following afternoon. He needed a small sleeping bag (we flew there) and casual clothes. He spent the night in an apartment style dorm and had breakfast in the dining hall. He then had a choice of several classes to attend before the group sessions started again.</p>
<p>What made the biggest impression was that his host and some other guys went over to a Sorority house to watch movies as the evening entertainment. Any concerns my son had about lack of girls or social life at GT went out the window right then.</p>
<p>Here's what you do. You and H check in to the best hotel in town, and make a dinner res at the best restaurant (some internet research may be required). Then, you have yourselves a nice little mini-vacation. You should tour the campus on your own, see if there's any interesting hiking or sights to be seen in the area. If you run into your kid on the campus, you don't have to pretend that you don't know them, but conversation should be limited to "yo, wassup" or something equally pithy. Actually, a surreptitious wave would be best. Have them call you when they're ready to leave.</p>
<p>I agree with Driver's advice. That's pretty much what we did.</p>
<p>Daughter had previously arranged her own schedule of stuff: </p>
<p>-- a meet n' greet with the chair of a science department who then had one of the senior majors show her around the labs and answer questions</p>
<p>-- sitting in on a lit discussion class. In prior e-mails, the professor had given her the reading assignment so she could follow the discussion</p>
<p>-- meeting with the staff coordinator for an EC organization</p>
<p>-- her admissions interview</p>
<p>At night, she went to dinner with her hosts and then hung around the dorm. If I recall, they were having a little study-break birthday party. </p>
<p>One piece of advice, take along some homework or something to keep yourself busy for a few hours. Student hosts mid-week may very well have to spend some time studying after dinner and it's considered bad form to sit there like a lump on a log, bored, expecting to be entertained. Much better to say, "Yeah, I brought some work to do, too." Alternatively, find a musical performance or lecture or something to do on your own for a few hours in the evening.</p>
<p>Re: ID's last paragraph. Excellent advice, My D found herself in exactly that spot on a Sunday night visit to Williams. Everyone else was getting ready for class the next day.</p>
<p>Thanks, all, for the sound advice. DH and I will play the part of a cabbie and drop her off and pick her up. Believe me, having the time to nap, read a good book or watch a good movie sounds so very appealing. I'll report back when we return. Thanks again!</p>
<p>Does anybody else on here question the value of the overnight visit? My son did two, but I swear, he learned absolutely nothing from them. I know most people say they were well worth it (and if I were looking at colleges I'd do them!). But he really did not get anything much out of them.</p>
<p>I think overnights are useful when you get to the point where you need to finalize your list. Keep in mind though, that your opinion can be skewed by the individual host. I think some Ad offices do a better job than others at placing kids with like minded students.</p>
<p>My daughter went to one overnight pretty much ready to attend said college, and it ended up being cut from the list as a result of a terrible visit. It was the host's first experience and clearly she was not well prepped. </p>
<p>I felt it was worth the time and money (we had to fly there) as we saw beyond the glossy brochure and learned how the nuts and bolts of the school operated (not well).</p>
<p>D did overnights only at her final two schools - after all the acceptances were in and it was time to finalize the choice.</p>
<p>My D and I will be revisiting her two top choices in the next few weeks. I think it's important because D is a little quirky and so are the schools.</p>
<p>D will overnight and I will relax in a hotel nearby. I'm going to visit the Financial Aid office while I'm there. (Already went to the info sessions this summer.) And then onto visit D#1 for Parents Weekend.</p>
<p>We had to do the college tour during the summer, so this is the next best thing.</p>
<p>weenie, we did like coureur. Visited maybe a dozen but overnighted at 2, both April of senior year and just a few days apart.</p>
<p>Whatever happened hardly matters...after the second overnight he had a clear winner (the first school) and that was all that mattered. Going head to head when the pressure was on was the only way this could work for our procrastinator, and it did.</p>
<p>Splashmom - go see the Memphis Zoo. It's right next to Rhodes, and has Komodo dragons and panda bears. Quite a nice zoo for its size. </p>
<p>And then report back!</p>
<p>I want the report ,too. (Of course.)</p>
<p>Our recent overnight actually ended when the girls decided it was time to crash and D decided to come back to the room. We were leaving early and she had started the day watching a 7:00 a.m. conditioning workout. I saw her for eleven minutes maybe. All day. </p>
<p>I was charged with one responsibility. Having the interview /funeral dress at the appointed changeover spot at the appointed time. (Yes. Interview/funeral dress. D sees no need to have TWO dresses that she wouldn't wear to a dance. Not frugal. Just uncaring.) I think being scarce is a good idea for the parents. Of course, I had little choice since she didn't tell me where they were going and I couldn't fit the lo-jack in her purse.</p>
<p>She did have a moment of humor on her visit. They invited her to a BBQ. When she got there they were serving grilled hamburgers. D, of course, asked "Where is the BBQ?" Took a few minutes to realize the regional differences in the definition of BBQ.</p>
<p>We're about to make our third college visit, DD's first overnight. This trip, like first two, is an 'open house visit day' event,' but this one is when school is in session unlike the first ones. We have taken the tours together and, so far, the lunches, but split up for other sessions. She will be attending classes this time, and I wonder if I should keep more distance from her that day so she can experience the school without my presence. We have two additional overnights planned later this fall, again 'visit day' events, so I know parents are rather expected to be with their kids at least parttime. D isa junior so not too many schools welcome ON this year--our spring break tour will have none since it will be senior accepted students priority then. From what I've read here, it seems wise for me to separate from her as much as possible....so I will have a couple of good books packed.</p>
<p>Ctmom's comments brought something else to mind - even though some peole did overnights only in the spring, a common thread for most of us is that overnights were done for to help those final decisions, whether these were ED decisions or April decisions.
Despite that, the element of randomness in the visiting (the "I'm not getting out of the car" syndrome) still applies to some extent. Ctmom's child had a "terrible visit" which influenced teh outcome. My DD did not have a terrible visit, but one school paired her with a senior, who knew a lot about the school, but who had sort of a world weary attitude - been there, done that, about to graduate - which was not as a good a selling point for the school as the freshmen she stayed with at the other school, who were still very excited about just being there. She did get to meet some frosh while stying with the senior, but it just didn't quite resonate as the other did.
This to me is another argument for letting them go mostly their own way when they are staying overnight - they need to picture themselves (or not, as it may work out) at the school.</p>