I am at my wits end; we are both readers but I have tried to transition to reading on a Kindle. My husband has not; he likes hardcovers (ok, I get it) but I think he buys about 3 books a week and will NOT get rid of the old ones. Consequently, we frequently have 4 different editions of THE SAME BOOK. If he can’t FIND the book in our multiple shelves, he just orders another. But I have to literally sneak the old ones out to donate/recycle/throw away or he has a fit. He never misses the missing ones. I did a major clean before Christmas to make things less cluttered, cleaning off surfaces, etc, and now I see there are stacks of books on all the surfaces I have cleared off. I have someone coming to pet sit next week, and now there is really another major cleanup before there is any room for her to put her stuff anywhere. I am so discouraged. I love my husband, but he is retired and I am not, and the time cleaning up stuff is not enough to counteract the time accumulating crap.
Will he consider using the library??? I love supporting authors but libraries are one of the best things in life!!!
Another idea is using book drops/exchanges. We have several in my area and it is easy to drop off books and sometimes I see ones that I like.
I hear you! Fortunately, DH has transitioned to an ereader. But we still have a lot of books he will never look at again…period. Ours are boxed up, thank goodness…but they have been boxed up for 25 years!
Books deserve to be read again! I hate that books are destined to a box or shelf never to be shared or read again (by yourself or someone else!).
My husband swears he wants to read these books again. That’s never going to happen, but hard to convince him!
My books get passed on to others.
Also have to say that while books are the vehicle for you feeling distraught perhaps the bigger problem is H not realizing/respecting your work to de-clutter and have some untouched surfaces?? Whether it was books or empty coffee cups or other clutter it’s a shame that you took the time to clear some surfaces only for stuff to accumulate again.
It took me A LOT of years, but I finally realized and then communicated that for me, I’m not just being obsessive about clutter but indeed “outer order = inner calm”. Having order in my space truly helps me to function better. Tough for some members of the family to understand this but I keep on trying!
I used to keep books but found I very rarely re read them. I still had quite a few books to get rid of when we moved last year. I found a really great charity which takes book donations then sorts them to donate to schools, Little Free Libraries, the military, etc.
I mostly use the library as does H. If one of us does buy a book we pass it on after we are through reading it. There are 2 Little Free Libraries just on our street so it’s very easy to do.
How is he with limits? How about 30 books? Is that enough? If a book isn’t in your top 30 is it worth keeping? Have a spot that holds x number of books and once it’s full, one in/one out.
We have a lot of books and move across the country frequently. By a lot, I mean thousands of books, many hardcover. Every move, I pack, unpack, and organize all the books again on shelves by topic (think, European History, Physics, Mythology, Children’s historical fiction by historical period) and then within non-chronological topics, again by author’s last name. We are both educators and love to read, so I know where every book is even the ones we have 2-3 copies of. We both use the libraries including interlibrary loans extensively. We just read a lot for pleasure and for work.
We did get rid of many books at a garage sale when we finished homeschooling D17, and I do sell some back for money occasionally if they are textbooks and I need space or money. Also, textbooks to which I am not attached can go. But when my son says, “I need a quote from the Federalist Papers on the judiciary” like he did tonight, I just go pull it off the shelf (American history, Founding period). Yes, there is the internet, but it just isn’t the same. BTW, our current house is only 1500 square feet with barely any storage, so it is tight, but bookshelves are in every room except the bathroom.
Anyway, that is a long way of saying that your husband may find happiness and security in the books. Maybe since he is retired, you can set him to work on ORGANIZING the books. He could buy and put together IKEA or other bookshelves, or make them. Then he can pick categories and put them all on shelves in an orderly fashion. He may realize there are duplicates, etc. by organizing them all. If there is not a reason for the duplicates (in our house there often is a reason for them), he might be willing to let them go. Then you could have a guideline like if a new book comes in, it has to fit on a shelf so maybe one has to go.
It just seems like a major problem here is the organization of the home library rather than the actual number of books. He buys them when he has them or when he doesn’t plan to use them again or reread them.
PS- Having them well-organized on beautiful shelves might help you feel that they are a “library” rather than clutter.
30 books? I could never limit myself to 30 books! We have at least a thousand in the master bedroom, and there are more bookcases in the other four bedrooms, the basement and the office, and even some in the front hall bookcase. What keeps us (mostly) under control is that we alphabetize the fiction and have the non-fiction sorted by subject. We both make liberal use of the library and Kindle as well.
My suggestions would be to have a few book free zones and invest in a lot of bookcases.
OP says they have multiple shelves. Sounds like her H isn’t into shelving as much as he’s into stacking piles.
Yes, that is why I was thinking of adding more shelves and an ultimatum that he has to really organize them, not just stick them on the shelf or in a pile. That way she wouldn’t be as much trying to get rid of his books (which can cause an automatic defensiveness) as telling him that they have to come up with a system of shelving. I still think maybe getting him to do the organizing with get him invested in the system.
I’m with you about clutter. Can’t have it, won’t have it. Fortunately for me, DH is also a neat nick. Our house is transitional-modern, and it just does not lend itself to having clutter.
Living with stacks of books everywhere as OP describes would make me extremely unhappy. I hope they can find a compromise that will work for both of them.
@BalletMom - is your husband otherwise a relatively neat person or does he leave non-book messes everywhere?
Yes, I think you nailed it here.
I agree with whomever said to have book-free zones IF your husband has shelving challenges. If having books is important to your dh, then he should have them. Lots of good advice on here about working as a team to get them organized, assembling bookcases, etc.
I am hugely anti-clutter. I am with @Nrdsb4 on this. Piles of books everywhere would drive me insane. By their very nature, books lend themselves to being orderly and organized. It is not difficult to make them tidy. Let him have ONE place to have a pile.
I do find this thread quite fascinating because it seems that having copious amounts of books is more widely accepted than copious amounts of other things people sometimes collect.
My husband is a very neat person other than two areas: garage and his office. I gave up on having those two areas organized and neat and just let him be. But he is prohibited from piling up his tools or old JACS reprints anywhere but those two areas - or they go in the trash per our agreement. 
So far, so good.
Long story short… if your husband can keep his book mess to one area, especially the area that can be easily closed off when you have company, that might be a good compromise.
Books (1) have educational value and (2) can be easily organized in a very tidy manner with minimal effort and investment (a tip: make sure that the spines of books of different size are evenly aligned - for a tidier look).
I’d add that books can also be works of art, and collecting art is always considered acceptable. Reading this thread made me go look at my oldest book again, printed in 1701. My husband has an older one, but not as beautiful. When we sold our last house, my realtor put the library as a major photo in the spread because she- a non-reader- thought it was beautiful. A retired librarian and her husband bought the house. 
We do research and reread constantly, so the books are useful in a way some collections are not, but I figure people can collect whatever they want so long as spouse agrees on space/aesthetics.
It helps that our housing style isn’t modern but could best be described as “English library.” We also collect icons, so, you know. (I guess that makes it Catholic English Library.)