I attend a school that requires students to stay in on-campus housing for more than one year. I recently gained a new roommate (my third, so I know what’s typical and whats not) who has one side of a rectangular 200 sq ft room. We each have our own closets, furniture, and share a bathroom with the rest of the floor. My roommate is fine (doesn’t steal, no alcohol in the room, respects the roommate contract the school provides) and I’m not suggesting I’m a perfect roommate either, but the amount of stuff she has is IS DRIVING ME INSANE. She’s from the west coast (the school is on the east coast) and has said multiple times that she A. is flying home and B. has no idea how to get everything back. Her stuff problem is getting out of control (3 comforters, massive bags and bags and bags of clothes, piles of empty bottles and random beauty items everywhere (the shared windowsill is turning into her second vanity), a massive printer, an honest to god 5x3 painting on a box frame that I cannot believe she thought she could hang on the wall because of how heavy it is, and at least 6 huge storage containers brimming with crap. She also has all of her massive suitcases (which are shut but to my knowledge empty)). Her stuff hasn’t technically crossed over to my side yet, but it’s exhausting to look at it all the time and I have no idea how to encourage her to or ask her to clean it up (even just organizing it, nothing is ever picked up, ever). My side is what I would call ‘neat freak’ minimalist and clean, so I realize my preferences vary widely from hers, but this is getting out of hand and I’m exhausted every time I look at her side, which is often because the room is so narrow. Our shared spaces include the windowsill, fridge, microwave (which I bought and regularly clean), and the vacuum (I’m the only one that uses it, and it’s mine). I don’t want to be rude, but I’m so sick of her (literal) crap.
Talk to your RA. They can advise you on what to do, and they may even be able to discuss the issue with your roommate themselves so you don’t have to do it. If nothing else, she definitely needs to get rid of the garbage like empty bottles. It sounds like it may have gotten out of hand and she might not even be sure what she should do, so maybe if the RA can give her advice on where to donate, dump things, etc…it’ll help both of you.
Maybe suggest some spring cleaning?
Honestly, I can’t believe all of that stuff even fits in the room! I would try to start casual and then get progressively tougher if she doesn’t improve the situation. Start by asking casual questions – I would ask if the suitcases are full and then suggest filling them, then ask what she’s doing with everything at the end of the year. Make a trip to the trash/recycle center and ask if you can take some of the bottles with you.
I would approach it as a team effort – help her clean if she will at all let you, especially since it sounds like she’s getting concerned too. If she doesn’t want to change, then I’d go to the RA. I’ve known people in this situation before, but this sounds like there’s a real problem (and I’m sort of a packrat myself).
Good luck!
Tell her you like to organize and ask if she would like your help getting ready to go back home, especially since it will be expensive is she tries to take everything with her. She might want to sell or donate some things now and not wait until everyone is trying to clear out. Channel your inner Marie Kondo. Force doesn’t work, especially if it is all on her side of the room.
Go to your RA, and say that you would like some help with how you get your roommate to keep her stuff on her side of the room…she just has too much stuff.
To her you might mention that she should consider taking stuff home for spring break…or if she is staying here, thinking about what to ship home, donate or throw out.
That’s a turn - my D’s experience with out of state roomies is that they live out of a couple of suitcases! Maybe you can ask if you two can put aside a morning one weekend to clean up the place? Sometimes a situation gets past the point of manageable and the offender just says “f’” it and doesn’t deal. Some helping hands might just what she needs to hit the reset button. If she starts to get defensive, reiterate how glad you are to be rooming with her and just need to have her stuff contained a little bit better.
D has a super slobby roommate in freshman year (3 in a 2-person dorm, so cramped already). I’m talking piles of clothes that D had to shovel out of the way to get to her drawers, decaying food on her desk, overflowing trash cans - you get the idea. No issues sophomore year, then fast-forward to junior year - sharing a room in an apartment with another slob. D is very happy there. Difference? Freshman roommate was also super inconsiderate, completely different social life and work ethic, and there was no place for D to escape. Junior roommate is a delight (as are her roomies) and she has other spaces - living room, kitchen - to retreat to if the mess is too much. So, how you feel about the roomie does come into play somewhat.