"Pairing college roomies is tricky"

<p>I think it depends on whether the question is, "Would you like to match linens or do your own thing?" or "Wouldn't is be so cute if we both had bright pink sheets and towels and everything?!!!!!". The first one is fine, the second scary. </p>

<p>I would have thought this was strictly a girl thing, but when I got home from buying all my stuff last year, which I had happily color-coordinated, my father thought it was rude of me not to have asked my roommate about color. I was totally taken aback and just said that it wasn't like I was going to demand that she match to me and that I couldn't care less if everything she owned was lime green. Just shows you how everybody has a different idea of the proper etiquette for these things!</p>

<p>Over thirty years ago, my first day as a college freshman at Rutgers was spent with a guy whom was smoking as I entered the dorm room; he rubbed out the cigarette on the floor and then started to sharpen one of his knives! I had a new roommate the next day.</p>

<p>My first child chose to room at the University of Florida his first year with a known quantity, a friend from high school. It worked out well.</p>

<p>My second of four kids is starting at MIT in three weeks. MIT has a unique process; the kids are asigned a temporary roommate and room, and after several days, are allowed to change rooms, roommates, or both via a secondary lottery. The students apparently love the system and try very hard to preserve it when parents(who can't move their freshman kids into their permanent first-year dorm rooms during Orientation) raise a ruckus.</p>

<p>I didn't even know it was common to ask about coordinating linens. I guess, coming from a family where finding a comforter at a garage sale is exciting because you don't have to use the ratty, ripped, stained one anymore, the thought of being concerned about your roommate's bedding strikes me as... trivial? </p>

<p>It's probably something completely normal in middle-class society, but it's something that my mom would probably call "uppity." College is probably going to be a very eye-opening experience, I suspect. :D</p>

<p>We didn't have a questionnaire, though you could request a roommate. Both students would write now their desired roommates student IDs. I got very lucky, I had 3 suitemates my freshman year. A very diverse group. One moved out sophomore year but the rest of us remained and we are all great friends. I'm actually kind of sad because we won't be roommates this year.</p>

<p>The things that <em>really</em> bug you about a roommate aren't going to be revealed on a questionnaire. My son's dorm was determined by his freshman living-learning community. No detailed questionnaire about roommate preferences--just the smoking question. He's "met" his roommate on Facebook and is excited about meeting him in (yikes!) 11 days.</p>

<p>I think the color-coordination is a pretty common thing among girls. As long as it is not out of control (roomie wants everything to match her Ralph Lauren sheets :rolleyes:), it is OK. D and her future roommate are going through this now, but they are doing "anti-coordination" :), and it looks like they are having fun (they already met on Facebook and in person!). I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they get along OK.</p>

<p>hyperJulie -- You should always be proud of who you are, where you come from, and how far you have traveled to get where you are. But try not to start your college career with a chip on your shoulder and/or quick value judgments on others based on material things.
When I was in graduate school many years ago in the east, I felt all the time as though my hard-working, lower-middle class Midwestern roots were seen as trivial, petty, uncool, ideologically incorrect. The ironic thing was all the people who professed not to care for things like neat backyards in the suburbs and matching linens and what have you actually had way more money than I ever had ("Don't you have a trust or something?" I remember being asked.) They could afford to reject all the values they had grown up with and to judge others.
Your roommate might not at all be defined by her interest in linens. Dig deeper. Good luck!</p>

<p>One of my kids had a roommate who was too lazy to walk down the hall to the bathroom so he peed in bottles and left them lying around the room. Not sure how you'd craft a questionnaire to pin-point that particular quirk. Or who you'd pair them with, for that matter...</p>

<p>That one might require a multiple-choice question on the housing form ... something along the lines of:</p>

<p>Empty bottles are best used for:</p>

<p>a) Sprouting seedlings</p>

<p>b) musical instruments</p>

<p>etc. :)</p>

<p>^^Definitely "b", musical instruments!! :D</p>

<p>UC Santa Cruz had a pretty extensive survey, ending with a place to put extra comments such as interests and your personality. Im assuming that they actually place you by those because I still dont have my assignment/roommate. I wont get it until the end of August, and we start September 20th. Hopefully Im right! I would just hate to have written about myself extensively just for kicks. If I end up with someone whos neat and goes to bed at 8, Im screwed :)</p>

<p>But IMO, a lot of people arent willing to admit they are messy, thinking that it might change in the next month. Well, it doesnt. It's not fair to your roommate if you were being optimistic filling out the survey...</p>

<p>sadly, kluge, you are not the first parent who has mentioned this <em>lovely</em> roommate toileting behavior. Ewwwww.....</p>

<p>The funny thing is, my son didn't even mention it at the time (this was a couple of years ago.) I just found out recently when one of his friends mentioned it. We did note that S had "cooled" towards this roommate after initial enthusiasm, but he never actually mentioned anything negative about the kid.</p>

<p>I guess it just didn't seem noteworthy. :rolleyes:</p>

<p>My freshman dtr has been assigned a roommate who is a junior and the other 2 in the quad are jr and senior and they have not even added her to their friend list on facebook, so she has no one to communicate with. Bummer of a start, I think...</p>

<p>Oh vocalmom, that's too bad. Are the freshman dorms overcrowded? Can she request a change?</p>

<p>My S who is an "indie" guy with no interest in sports has been assigned a roommate who is was recruited to play a sport and played two others as well in HS. My S had to fill out a questionnaire with preferences, so we are wondering what happened and waiting to see what the *&@! these two have in common to have been placed together.</p>

<p>They may have been placed together because they DIDN'T have things in common.</p>

<p>Roommate matching with a fairly extensive questionnaire worked well for S, who said that the only 2 roommates on his freshman hall that didn't match up well were guys who had distrusted the system and found each other via another means (like Facebook, I guess.) I think the sleep habits, cleanliness style, and partying tendencies tend to be the biggies.</p>

<p>Now D is going to be a freshman where there is no roommate matching, and she's been nervous about it. Right now I'm about ready to scream because S just told me that D had 3 friends who are already in college (elsewhere) with her when she found her first phone message from her assigned roommate on our home answering machine. From S's account, the friends were telling her that the roommate is likely to be "snobby" based on what she said in the message and because of the geographic area she is from. I haven't had a chance to talk to D; I hope the 18 years I have spent trying to teach her not to jump to conclusions hasn't been wasted!</p>

<p>Acme, my S would have a cow if he was set up with a jock roommate! I hope it works out okay for your S.</p>

<p>Last year, my D's school bragged about how much time they spend matching roommates. D spent a lot of time carefully filling out the roommate questionnaire. She might as well have not bothered, because there is NO way the staff actually "matched" her with her roommate. They had nothing whatsoever in common. The questionnaire asked about interests, habits, etc. D's roommate had exactly none of my D's interests, and their living habits weren't compatible. While D survived the year, she was pretty miffed that the school touts its roommate matching. She said she'd have been less upset if they had just done blind matching ... at least then she'd just figure it was luck of the draw.</p>

<p>Do any of you have experience with cross cultural roommate matching? ie black with white, asain with mexican, etc. Were these good experiences for the kids or was it additional distraction.</p>