Hi guys I’m a freshman 2 months into the year and I’m freaking out. College is nothing like I thought. I had so many expectations and I’m just miserable.
I’m at a very amazing school on a practically full scholarship in an awesome location. My home is only an hour away. The problem is, I never wanted to come here and I absolutely hate it. My parents talked me into it because of the money and I shouldn’t have let them. I find myself fighting the urge to go home which is easy because it’s so close and becoming more and more depressed. I have a job which I really enjoy and need because I support myself and I do a lot of volunteer work which I love but is very time consuming and I keep missing out on things. I have some good guy friends which is nice but no good girl friends and I find myself missing my high school best friends to the point of tears. My boyfriend is back home and I miss him so much but I’m too busy trying to get all As and only see him every few weeks and even then i feel guilty for not socializing on campus. The people here are nice but the huge majority is very well off and I have a hard time relating to their lifestyles. Plus, im working through some traumatic things that happened to me last year which have impacted my emotional health, more than I thought they would. I am not even sure if I should be in college! I’m already going to the counseling center and doing so many clubs but I still feel so alone. The worst part is that I’m the oldest of my family and my parents are so proud and have so many expectations so I CANNOT let on how I’m feeling to them. I want to transfer next year but I HAVE to get through this year and it’s been torturous…it’s only November. Has anyone been through this?
You sound like the energizer bunny – running so fast that you can’t stop to take a breath. You sound overextended, and like you have no time to socialize because you are over committed. I would honestly cut back a bit on the volunteer work. Studying is #1, and working (to a point – I would not try to work more than 15 hours/week or so) seem important. And I would not do “so many clubs”. Pick a couple you like and stick with them. You can’t “busy” yourself to happiness. Slow down, take time to connect more with people in the clubs, at your job, in your dorm, etc.
Great recommendations @intparent. OP, you may actually get some relief by just talking to your parents and telling them how you feel. They love you and it is their job to be there for you. They will not lose their pride in you. Trust them. Being real with them can help a lot, and they are in a great position to help you to figure out what to do.