<p>I would recommend that both academic program and location rank 1 and 1A when choosing a future college. Sports program ranks for me somewhere in the middle. My reason for this comes from blowing out my knee in my soph. year and loosing my scholarship. I would have hated my other options.</p>
<p>My nephew, the only one in our family to play D1 sports, studied the athletic conference and game schedule of his prospective schools. He found that he would do a lot more traveling if he stayed in the midwest, and so opted for a Boston school, where a road game could mean no more than a short bus ride.
Since student athletes have a lot of pressures, he was smart about knowing what he could and couldn’t handle.</p>
<p>It could be that he thinks that Mormon girls won’t go out with a non-Mormon boy?</p>
<p>He said maybe to that question. He just sometimes says mormon’s are “weird” which he said means too conservative and “square.” He isn’t a drinker/partier so that part doesn’t bother him.</p>
<p>You’ve mentioned the necessity of him graduating in four years. Whether or not that will happen rests almost entirely on your son. Assuming he wouldn’t choose vastly different programs depending on which school he chose, I wouldn’t worry about 4, 5, and 6 year graduation rates from the perspective of your son being able to graduate in 4. It would be worth considering if it were very important to your son to go to school with mostly high achieving “traditional” students, but from what your describing, I’m not getting the idea that that would be a dealbreaker for your son (nor should it be; as you essentially said, a school doesn’t have to be near the to prof the USN&WR list to provide him with a good education).</p>
<p>And as far as other financial factors are concerned, I’m assuming he knows how much money he has to work with, right? Make sure he has a full understanding of all extra costs (books, possible tuition increases) and how student loans work (as in, if he borrows X, what might he end up paying over ten years), and how his level of student debt will after his life after graduation. So many college-bound teens really don’t get the implications of debt. </p>
<p>If more visits are possible, do it! Preferably staying with someone in the dorms for a weekend, if that is a possibility. </p>
<p>One tip you could give him (though I wouldn’t try to push him one way or the other), is that the first year is a big adjustment and it can be difficult to make that adjustment if he’s very far away from home. I’ve known of so many students who transfer to be closer to family. You know your son better than anybody, so it would be a good idea to discuss this with him if he’s the type for whom being close to you would greatly ease his transition to collegiate life and adulthood.</p>
<p>Beyond that, I don’t think over-analyzing really won’t get very far, nor will trying to push him or way or the other. In the end, it’s up to him (obviously), and he has to go with what feels right. Or more importantly, not to go with what feels wrong. If he thinks he will be uncomfortable with a 40% Mormon student body, I wouldn’t downplay that concern.</p>
<p>Our kids have not made this decision in the abstract, meaning, visiting, multiple times if necessary, is what helped them decide. </p>
<p>That said, the original choices of where to apply included criteria such as academics, location, and finances as much as possible. We paid no attention to stats, such as 4 year graduation rates or SAT’s, honestly.</p>
<p>We actually prefer visiting on a regular school day, though the accepted students’ days can be helpful. Doing things like sitting in the dining hall/cafeteria for awhile, reading student newspapers, sitting by a tree on the green and watching people, and visiting the college bookstore to look at books used in courses, helped the most.</p>
<p>Ultimately, it comes down to the vibe, and the kid’s visceral reaction to that vibe. He can ask himself, “Can I see myself here?” Focusing on ordinary activities seemed to help my kids imagine that: getting cornflakes in the morning, buying a book, hanging with friends on the green.</p>
<p>I know you chose for your other son, and he didn’t mind at all. It may be that this second son also would like you to choose. However, I really cannot imagine choosing for any of my kids (they would never allow it, and I even kept my opinions pretty quiet), and I kind of feel that if they aren’t up to making that kind of decision for themselves, maybe they aren’t ready to go.</p>
<p>However, I would hesitate to say that in an absolute sense, to you, since, with 3 very different kids myself, I feel that parents know their kids the best.</p>
<p>If your son is clearly hesitant to attend any of the schools for any reason, even if it’s one that’s hard to understand from an adult perspective (i.e., religious background of part of the student body), I would honor that and move on to the other schools on the list. There’s a whole thread about dumb seasons for rejecting schools ( <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/705291-stupidest-reason-child-wont-look-college.html?highlight=reason[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/705291-stupidest-reason-child-wont-look-college.html?highlight=reason</a> ), which you might find interesting (it’s a fun read). Maybe he was uncomfortable at the school and that was just the first thing he thought of to say? With so many choices, it’s a relief to have a reason to take a school off the list - that’s what you’re trying to do.</p>
<p>As an athlete, he’ll have to work hard at time management. I suggest giving weight to schools where he’s comfortably in the mid-range of students (or higher) academically, so that he doesn’t have to deal with the possible challenge of struggling to keep up with his classmates.</p>
<p>I am a big believer in social fit - if a kid feels comfortable or excited about where they are then chances are they will flourish. The old adage - look to right and look to your left, can you see your self being friends 25 years from now? </p>
<p>I am currently watching a number of college freshman this year struggle (not academically but socially) at their selected schools. And these are not kids that had social issues in HS. They chose their school based solely on academic reputation or based on a single visit. They really didn’t understand what a rural environment means or conversely what an urban environments means. They didn’t understand the importance of putting themselves “out there” during the first few weeks of school when people were making friends.</p>
<p>I would respect your son’s concerns about Westminster. </p>
<p>Mormon girls definitely want to marry someone who is also LDS, and are typically dating with finding a spouse in mind.</p>
<p>More importantly, though, the LDS way of life is all-consuming, not a Sunday morning only type of thing. When 40% of the student body all share a faith, and a very homogenous lifestyle, this will have a big impact on the feel of the school. I’m stumbling to say this diplomatically. Maybe your son doesn’t quite know how to explain it in a way that makes sense to you, but it is still valid.</p>
<p>There were several schools my d. visited that just didn’t feel right to her. Basically the students there were not her type. When she tried to articulate it, it sounded bizarre like “the girls there wear short skirts on snowy days” but I understood that she just didn’t feel like these were her people. </p>
<p>Imagine a workplace where you just don’t have much in common with anyone on the job. Now imagine you are required to live with those people 24 hours a day, share meals with them, and most weekends you stay on the job, too. If there was a good job elsewhere with people you felt like were “your type of folks” wouldn’t you be tempted to take it instead?</p>
<p>When all is said and done, a student will largely be influenced by the typical student profile on his or her campus. I think that there’s a huge value to immersing oneself in the most talented and motivated peer group one can find.</p>
<p>50isthenew40 (like the name) - you said exactly what I wanted to say earlier, but couldn’t find a very diplomatic way of saying it.</p>
<p>Great advice from everyone. Our son has spent the night on official visits (soccer) with every school except one (Sewanee) which we did a day visit.
When he returns from every school he is excited about it and then a few days later cools off and starts reviewing all his options again.
He was at Westminister for 2 days and had no idea about the Mormon population so if I didn’t tell him he probably would not have known. I don’t know anyone who attends so it’s hard to find out about that part of the social environment.
He needs to ask these questions. He doesn’t get numbers of the kids he stays with and says he will find them on FB.
We have been thinking he may be too young (18 in Sept) to make this kind of decision and has lived a pretty sheltered life in suburbia. He is so passionate about soccer and wanting to play early that is really clouding his decision making.
BTW: 50isthenew40! I was thinking more like the new 30!</p>
<p>SDiegoMom - I’m going through similar concerns regarding my HS jr who could be competitive at most top colleges and universities but needs to have access to a top marching band because he’s a passionate snare drummer. I’m glad he has the drumming because it’s a real high for him and gets him closely bonded with a great peer group. But at a big school with a top band, he could be the tenth-best snare drummer in a population of 30,000 and still never get onto the field. And at that point, he’d have made a decision in favor of a campus that he would have never chosen, but for the band opportunity. It’s a tough call.</p>
<p>A reluctance to choose can sometimes mean he is not ready to go. He is only 17, and a boy. My son was 19 the summer before college, and was still having a hard time with the transition.</p>
<p>How about a gap year or, simply a post-grad or year out of high school working or exploring interests or traveling…or doing something with soccer.</p>
<p>Will you be able to go with your son to re-visit the top choices? A coworker told me with some kids you can just watched the way they walk in a relaxed way when they have found “the one”. </p>
<p>(Of course finances may trump that, if “the one” is significantly more expensive than the other top choices)</p>
<p>sdiegomom - if he hasn’t spent much time outside of SoCal, has he ever had an outdoor soccer practice in 30 degree weather with snow on the ground? (My D has.) Maybe not a reason to rule out a school but something to consider. </p>
<p>Also D has decided on USD even though we are not Catholic. We understand the presence is evident but not pervasive or pushy. What is the feel for the Mormon presence at Westminster? Or what does he understand it to be?</p>
<p>Several friends have student athlete kids and we hear their teammates form the core of their college life. When your S has done his campus visits, I’m sure the team hosted him. Did he connect with any of those kids in particular? </p>
<p>Chances are he will be happy with most of these schools. If all schools look equally promising to him after visits, it may be more a question of how much it costs or how far from home. Sounds like he’ll be fine.</p>
<p>He really clicked with the team at Dominican U. of Calif. but has lots of concerns about other things. He only met the Fresh. and Soph. on the team at Westminster so tough to judge. He has decided now that Linfield/OR is one of his top choices and will be going there this month. Dominican gave him a 3/1 deadline so he needs to decide whether to commit or not by then. Sewanee he decided is too rural for him.</p>