<p>I am about to enter my freshman year of college. I decided earlier this year that I wanted to fly to college on my own and spread my wings a bit. I think I might of hurt my mom a little on that decision but I think she understand why I made that decision. However now I am starting to wonder if that was the right decision to make. It seems from what I read here that I am going to be the minority. I am starting to think that maybe that was not such a good idea. I was wondering if you went or are planning to go with you child to freshman registration? Do you think I will stand out like a sore thumb if I do it on my own? I just feel ready to be independent and feel that I can do it. Anyways any of you guys thoughts on this would be much appreciated.</p>
<p>I'll be accompanying my freshman. His college ill have orientation activities geared towards the parents, and my husband and I will be following it with a small adult-orientated vacation in the area to mark our newly empty nest. I think there will be plenty of freshmen both with and without parents to make everyone feel okay with their own situation.</p>
<p>Does your school have a parents' weekend? That's another opportunity for your mom to go if you still feel like you want to do the move-in on your own. OTOH, parental credit cards, hands, tool boxes, and cars can be very handy at move-in. Why do you think so many students want (or at least allow) their parents to go?</p>
<p>Fairyblood:</p>
<p>Too many years ago, I was an international student, arriving on campus with a few suitcases and no parents. It's okay. Having parents, however, can be very helpful. They can help you bring extra luggage. They can drive to buy stuff you either did not bring on the plane, did not ship or plain forgot to pack. They can help you set up your room. They can help carry the books and other stuff you'll be buying at the campus bookstore. They can help you figure out the various lines for various things (registration, opening bank accounts, signing up for clubs). And lastly, accompanying you can give them a better sense of your environment for the next year. If your parents can afford the time and expense, by all means invite them to come.</p>
<p>Later this month, we'll be there to help with dorm move-in day, and also hang around for an additional day of planned student and parent orientation meetings. According to his college's schedule of events, the freshmen will deal with the actual registration process (with advisors) after parents have gone home.</p>
<p>We went to both of our kids' freshman drop-off but not really "orientation," though there was a convocation that lasted about an hour. Parents can sometimes be helfpul on a few issues that may come up at that time (mainly financial, banking), but otherwise the schools generally do a good job of separating the kids from the parents right after "drop-off."</p>
<p>fairyblood, just ask Mom to be a phone call away, just in case you need moral or financial support. She doesn't need to hold your hand, but don't cut the cord completely. </p>
<p>And don't forget to mail her a t-shirt or other college souvenir. Very conveniently forget something at home and ask her to ship it to you. Let her know that she is still a part of your life!</p>
<p>It depends on what you need to do. If you will not be 18 when you arrive on campus, and need to open a bank account or something, having your parents there could be beneficial. I know one of F's friends need her parent to sign the some last minute forms that she forgot to send in ahead of arriving. They are also good for helping you set up your room purchase some last minute items (using their money not yours :))</p>
<p>I will be accompanying my daughter later this month - 3000 miles away. I'm sure she could do it herself if she had to, but given the distance we are planning to buy lots of her stuff once we get there and she wouldn't have a car. Also, I am sure she will be busy with orientation, and I will have the extra time to do all the running around and picking up last minute things. Now that I think about it, this is probably more for me than for her...</p>
<p>I will <em>not</em> be accompanying my son later this month, who will also be going 3000 miles away. I will put him on the plane, with a couple suitcases and his laptop and much love, and send him into his future. I will be in charge of shipping some boxes to him from home and have already purchased some necessities, from a wish-list he made up, which will be delivered to his campus for him to pick up during orientation. He needs to spread his wings on this one and is eager to do so, just as you are, fairyblood. So off he goes, solo. If he needs any last-minute items for his dorm room, he'll find transportation and help among his new friends, I'm sure.</p>
<p>It will not be unique that you are without a parent during orientation/registration. Keep in touch with your mom regularly, and be sure to let her know that you are thinking of her and how well you are handling your new responsibilities. It sounds as if you'll do fine. And she'll be there to share your successes and offer support for the hard times. </p>
<p>All the best to you!</p>
<p>As a parent it means a lot to me to be able to picture my children in their environments. It means more when they tell things which have happened. If your mom is okay about this, fine, but she may be saying what she thinks you want to hear, and she may not want to be rejected by you in an argument or discussion about it. </p>
<p>I remember family friends where the son was newly engaged after a divorce. The bride-to-be's family could not come to the wedding, so he declared that his parents would not be invited. They responded to him graciously, and he thought things were fine. However, they were not fine, they were upset, and they were hurt. The young man was a special friend of mine, and at his engagement party (when he brought her home to meet the family), he told me about the plans. I asked him how his parents had reacted, and then I told him the truth he was not understanding. He was stunned, and his parents were at the wedding. </p>
<p>Now this is not a wedding, but it is a major rite of passage, for EVERYONE. Let your mom do what she needs to do, too. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>We will be flying out with our son halfway across the country. He wants us there to help him pick up things he doesn't want to pack and send that far. (We are going a day early to do the shopping.) We also want to see the college and, like texas137, will be taking a small vacation in the area while he goes through Welcome Week.</p>
<p>He already spread his wings by doing the college visit and two day Orientation on his own, so he is quite willing to have us along this time. Besides we have to pick up some decals for our car, tee shirts, etc. :-)</p>
<p>Sybbie, do you have to be 18 to open a bank account on your own? Yikes if so. My D is going off to college and is 16 and I am expecting her to open an account in NYC. In fact, my husband and I were just talking about this today because I was like "hope she can handle it on her own and knows what to do" because last year we were pleasantly surprised with our older D, then a freshman at Brown, that on move in day, the banks in the area set up shop in the student center to make it easy to set up an account and so we were able to do that WITH our daughter (even though we originally thought she'd have to do it on her own later that week). So, I have no word that my second D's school has that kind of set up (and the move in day is a Sunday) and I just figured she would take a money order from her account up here to open an account down there. You think she can't open an account on her own because she is only 16? If so, I wonder how to handle this.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>
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So, I have no word that my second D's school has that kind of set up (and the move in day is a Sunday) and I just figured she would take a money order from her account up here to open an account down there. You think she can't open an account on her own because she is only 16? If so, I wonder how to handle this.
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</p>
<p>On move-in weekend last year (Boston area college), the banks had their account sign-up tables set up and going continuously through the whole weekend, including Sunday. Although they couldn't actually process the deposit on Sunday, they were able to handle all the paperwork for setting up the account on a Sunday, and they gave my daughter a temporary checkbook and deposit slips. She went back to bank the next day and actually deposited funds in her account.</p>
<p>We were not able to go with our daughter for move-in at her school. She flew by herself with the maximum amount of luggage, we mailed her stuff but boy, do I wish I could have been there for that day. I knew that she could do it herself, that wasn't ever in question, but I missed the parents orientation, didn't get to see her dorm, meet her roommate, etc. Because her school has a lot of out- of -state and international students she was one of many that didn't have a parent there. </p>
<p>I think it would be doing your mother a great kindness to tell her you've changed her mind and if she would still like to, you'd like her to come. </p>
<p>It's not like parents go to the campus and then hang out with the kids for hours. The arrival and room set up takes just a day at most and many campuses have seperate programs for the parents. Just practically, it seems like it would be easier to have another person there with a car to drive from the airport, lift and tote, help set up the computer, etc. </p>
<p>I actually think it's a trifle selfish to not want your parent there unless she's a very overbearing person. Once she's gone, you'll have years to spread those wings but there's only one move-in day. I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.</p>
<p>In two weeks (!) we'll be driving 500+ miles with our S to drop him off at college. But he flew there and back on his own for the student orientation weekend last month, so I could see him managing move-in day pretty well with some help from new friends. He likes to be as independent as possible.</p>
<p>Though he is not sentimental in the least, I am. In addition to wanting to envision where he'll be living for the next year, I see the freshman drop off as a rite of passage. I know that he will want us to leave as soon as possible, while I'll be wanting to fuss with his room and soak in all the new faces/personalities in his suite. My husband will probably just want to hit the road as soon as possible (he's not particularly sentimental either :( ).</p>
<p>Soozie, if you look through the mailings from the schools, (or their website), you may find details of orientation. Ours mentions that bank reps will be there to help students open accounts. If you have a local bank that has a presence in NYU, you can help her an account right now in your hometown. If on the other hand, it is Chase or Citibank, you can often open a student account online, or at least call them up and have them send you paperwork in advance, so there are no surprises.
Most places you cannot apply for a credit card before 18, but rules for student checking may not be as stringent.</p>
<p>I had problems with all my foreign exchange students who were under 18. I had to be on the account with them. I have had to be on D's accounts until she turned 18. This at Bank of America and a Credit Union. Uniform Gifts to Minors Act accounts aren'ta problem, but regular ones are. Luckily, the closest Bank is Bank of America, so we will be setting up her account here at home before she goes. However, she has done some research and found that the interest rates for savings accounts are higher at the online banks, so she will set up an account there, and a checking account with credit card at BA. It only takes a 1/2 hour for funds to transfer from online bank to physical bank.</p>
<p>Last yr, we dropped off DD a week before 1st yr orientation/customs at 1 of the other campuses that her college is a consortium member. She was able to meet students from her college as well as the other 2. H & I left her in friendly and helpful hands...at the end of the week, the students were transported to their respective schools and helped each other move into their dorms a day before the rest of the 1st yrs arrived. It was a great experience to connect and ease the transition...</p>
<p>We Fedex-d her boxes the week before and established a checking account in advance...so everything was in place and waiting for her arrival. It worked well for us.</p>
<p>With 2 children still at home, we did not make Parent Weekend. However, DD's suitemate invited her to join their family for dinner.</p>
<p>Wisteria, yes, well, that was the set up basically at Brown as well on freshman move in day. But this second D is going to NYU and I have not seen any mention of this (though I did not know Brown was gonna have bank reps set up on campus til we got there either). </p>
<p>Chocoholic, thanks but while the idea of using a local bank and setting her up here for one that has a branch in NYC...I don't think that is gonna work because the local ones in town are not ones that are in NYC. She actually has an account here and has had it for years (started earning money professionally at age 11 which we saved to let her take to college, plus she is earning a bunch this summer). That account here also has our names on it. I don't mind putting our names on it in NYC either but if they are not set up on campus on move in day, she is on her own to open it up and what if she needs a parent to cosign the account? </p>
<p>I like your idea about signing up online or getting paperwork in advance. I guess I could find out which banks are near NYU and how to go about this before we take her. She will need that account right away for books and things. Thanks, I may use that idea and/or ask NYU if bank reps will be set up on freshman move in day. I had thought about this only from the standpoint of her handling the setting up of it on her own but never thought about IF she'd be allowed to do so as a sixteen year old. I better look into this before she goes. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>What about ETrade bank? Online and full service. I don't believe you need a brokerage account, and you can do transfers online. Just a thought.</p>