<p>"but sometimes it’s not the “traditional” four year college way. "</p>
<p>By “traditional”, do you mean “sleep away”? Is that what most do in CT? Where I live in California, most ( but no, not MY kids) live at home and go to a CCC.</p>
<p>Shrinkwrap…I honestly don’t know how many commute and how many board at college. In our area, there IS a community college within a short…very short…commute from our high school. Still…of the students going to college from our rural community,the majority went away to school…but most went to schools IN CT.</p>
<p>The OP sounds like he/she needs to have a place to live as well as a place to go to college. There ARE options here…and finding a room with close family or friends…and commuting IS an option.</p>
<p>CCSU has MANY classes in the evenings. I don’t think this is an accident. Many students are full time employees who are completing their bachelors degrees.</p>
<p>I’ve read the requirements for claiming independent status and it won’t work for me based on what i’ve read. I am 21 F not married and I don’t have a kid. I can’t wait until im 24 to go to college because I need to take care of myself and school now. At work I am lucky to get about 20hrs. </p>
<p>CCSUs COA is about 20 grand whether at home or not. How do you guys think I could attend if I lived on campus? I know 5,500 in staff loans + parent plus denial 2,000 [my mom has bad credit] 3,000 grand a yr from work if I worked less than 20hrs. Maybe I should get a priv loan? Honestly I was/am looking for that sleep away experience</p>
<p>You can’t get a private loan…you’d need co-signers. And, frankly, taking out private loans just to pay for the “sleep away” experience is not a good idea.</p>
<p>the “sleep away” experience is a luxury, which is why most can’t afford to do it. Most kids have to commute to a local CC or state school. Most families can’t afford to pay for tuition AND another $10k per year for their child to “go away.”</p>
<p>Whether I commute or live on campus the COA would be about the same price.</p>
<p>What is your mom saying about where you should live. I do think it’s odd that she’s cut her work hours to the point that she must move in someone. That sounds odd.</p>
<p>Do you have a grandparent that you could live with and commute?</p>
<p>My grandparent lives out of the country and my others I don’t have much of a relationship with them. My mother cut her hrs because she’s tired of working and wants to retire.</p>
<p>My mother first wanted me to just get my own apartment…I can’t afford that. Then she said she’d pay part of my rent avg rent in CT is like 700 and all of my money would go to that and I’d have nothing for school. Now she wants me to live with my brother and he’s a good 1-2 hrs from my job which means I’d have to taxi or quit. or live with my sister and her g.f in Chicago which would be awkard but I’ve looked at schools there: NEIU North Park U and Dominican U. I would still have to come up with ways to pay.</p>
<p>Pretty-- is your mom mad at you for some reason? It sounds like she is kind of cutting you loose, which is a pretty harsh thing to do to an 18 year old.</p>
<p>Edit: sorry, just realized you said you are 21. But still, it sounds like she is not happy with you.</p>
<p>Honestly I was/am looking for that sleep away experience.</p>
<p>You are 21 years old. You have essentially been given the boot from the family home (not too unusual for being 21). You are already no longer a traditional aged student, so wishing for that “sleep away” experience is somewhat of a wistful/backwards way to approach your life situation. Since you need to support yourself 100% – apartment/rent, food, transportation AND any college costs – you may need to start approaching the college experience not as an 18 year old who is able to afford a “sleep away” experience by way of a lot of cooperation and financial support from parents, but as an out-of-the-house-adult who is balancing work commitments with hopes of getting a college degree.</p>
<p>Thus, I suggest either waiting until 24 or going to college part-time while working fulltime. Unless you can find a crash-place to sleep for cheap or free with a relative or a community college that is extremely cheap (for example, a California resident can go to community college for about $1,000 a year in tuition), you will simply have to have a lot of effort put into simply supporting your basic living costs. It is a tough bind to be in, but going to college part-time can get you on the road toward a degree and you can also look into better financial aid packages when you are 24.</p>
<p>My mother was paying for my sister’s everything when I was 18 and my brother was in college too, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do [iam indecisive and noncommital] so why ask her to pay. Now my sister is in grad school so she pays her own way and my brother is done with undergrad after taking an extra yr due to bad grades and my mom pays for his apartment and school phone etc. While I was taking care of my lil brother for her bcos it was convient for her. I’ve always tried to help her cut down on the spending/ figuring out finances but she never listened. She also wanted me to give money I make so we wouldn’t be evicted until she moves in with her b/f [I could never cover it] where i can’t even stay. Ive also given her money recently to get her car from the pound bcos she refused to register it. Its not like I want everything from her, I hate having to need her help to go to college. I can’t pay to live somewhere and pay for college on what I make. I think its fair to ask her to pay some of college. She’d only be supporting herself and 8yr old sharing rent with her b.f on a R/N salary. </p>
<p>That seems to be my only option; that and going to CC/I pay half of the rent. Which might not even work because she’s moving in july so I’d have to commute from my brothers using a taxi [his car broke down] until CC in fall and figure out how to pay for that and an apartment. Oh why cant I just stay with my brother while at a CC? He doesnt want me to live with him.</p>
<p>If I didn’t do the CC plan and lived on campus how much should I ask my mother to pay? 5-10 a yr?</p>
<p>Good points about current age and the sleep away experience. </p>
<p>At this point, the student should just work until 24 and then go to school. Find a place/job near a campus so that when ready to go to college, one will be nearby.</p>
<p>I don’t understand the “retirement” aspect of the mom…it doesn’t sound like she’s financially ready/able to retire.</p>
<p>One more option would be to look for a job at a college or university. Almost every college in the country let’s employees take a certain number of credits each year for free. It would take you a while to finish, but it would be very inexpensive.</p>
<p>*She’d only be supporting herself and 8yr old sharing rent with her b.f on a R/N salary.
*</p>
<p>You have a lot of judgments about how your mother is living her life. That’s your prerogative, but even if she was giving every dime of her paycheck to the circus, now that you are an adult, it isn’t any of your business. You have your health, your smarts, and you can take those wonderful assets and make your own plans that work within whatever constraints there are–one of which seems to be that your mom has other priorities right now.</p>
<p>That seems to be my only option; that and going to CC/I pay half of the rent. Which might not even work because she’s moving in july so I’d have to commute from my brothers using a taxi [his car broke down] until CC in fall and figure out how to pay for that and an apartment. Oh why cant I just stay with my brother while at a CC? He doesnt want me to live with him.</p>
<p>You can wait a few years to start college (you already waited 3 or so years already). You can do military service. You can work fulltime and go to school parttime while living with some buddies and splitting the rent. Etc.</p>
<p>*If I didn’t do the CC plan and lived on campus how much should I ask my mother to pay? 5-10 a yr?
*</p>
<p>You can ask her for the moon if you want. Or ten dollars or ten thousand dollars or thirty thousand dollars. The number really doesn’t seem to matter because she doesn’t sound like she currently has the funds and even if she did, she doesn’t sound too interested in parting with them. </p>
<p>And most importantly, she is not obligated to pay any part of your college education. </p>
<p>The fact that you are still trying to figure out some “reasonable” number seems to point to a disconnect between your wishes and what is currently reality.</p>
<p>If your mom changes her mind (and I don’t know the parties involved here), great for you. But the advice on this board seems to be pointing toward figuring out what is possible on your own steam since it sounds like mom doesn’t have the funds. </p>
<p>Your mother having lost her home to foreclosure followed by being evicted from her current home and also not filing this year’s taxes are three big clues that something is going VERY wrong for her financially lately. And that she is semi-quitting work also seems to point to some deeper issues, possibly emotional/personal that may be in play. You seem very tuned out to what is really going on with your mother and just want to pressure her for funds. I think she has been very clear–move out, fund your own college.</p>
<p>After I gather all OP’s messages, I painted this picture.
OP’s starting message stated that the family has 3 kids - small child (8 yr old), an 18yr old brother and OP@ 21. (Mom is a single mom sharing rent with b/f)
It appears that there are 2 older siblings. An older brother recently graduated UCONN after 5 yrs and another older sister at grad school.
It all sounds like that OP’s mom has been paying a lot for all her children’s education - including the 18 yr old brother going to attend UHART in the fall. What was missing was what happen to OP during his 18-21? </p>
<p>Prettyparanoia - which college admitted you now? or are you just planning?
Did you not attend any college from 18 until now? Was it because of finance or grade?
It is obvious that your mom has huge burden from just day-to-day, college expense and young child. You shouldn’t burden her any further…</p>
<p>I agree with Annikasorrensen’s comments that you should wait a few years either attend community college (part-time) and claim independent at 24 if you are still serious about college education. After-all, you are an adult, you should be on your own; just like your two older adult siblings no longer supported by your mom. (I understand they have the undergrad education and you don’t.)</p>
<p>OP, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your asking your mom to help you although I’m not sure she’s in a position to do much. It seems to me that if she is helping your brother pay for his apartment and phone, she may be able to do the same for you or your brother should let you live there. I know you said your brother doesn’t want you to live there, but you could ask your mom to put strings on her $ and tell him he either lets you live there or she will give you half of what she’s been giving him for a few months because you need a place to live too. Another option would be to live with roommates or other relatives-- even if out-of-state. (If you live out-of-state, you probably wouldn’t be able to attend their local community college immediately but you could use the year to save up.)</p>
<p>I know you’re angry at your mom. The above poster is right, though, there are three years missing from your story. We don’t get a redo at life. Those years are past and you are now 21yo and your mom’s financial situation has deteriorated. Nursing is a demanding and often physically taxing profession and age has a way of creeping up on us. I think, though, some of your anger is misdisrected. You made a choice 3 years ago not to attend college and now you’re angry at your mom that her situation didn’t stand still while you figured out what you were going to do. It sounds like your mom is still helping support your brother-- even though she doesn’t have enough $ to pay her own rent, and she asked you to help with the rent and you didn’t. Please try not to let the anger bog you down. You will get a lot more out of life if you focus your energies on moving forward. It sounds like your immediate needs are for a roof over your head and a second job, it that’s possible (or a new job if you choose to move out of the area). Once those issues are settled, I would encourage you to look at college options-- even if it’s just 1 course and even if it’s online (in case you have a variable work schedule). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to get the college financing situation worked out, but it doesn’t sound too promising and you need a back-up plan.</p>
<p>I’d advise you to be really careful about assuming that your mom is going to get denied. My mother has bad credit - I mean, REALLY bad credit. She was denied a checking account at every bank she tried. Her credit score is below 500. She applied for a Parent PLUS loan under the assumption that she’d get turned down and that my sister would get the independent rate, and lo and behold…she was approved for the PLUS loan.</p>
<p>I checked CCSU’s website. If you are living at home and don’t take any music, art or co-op classes, the estimated COA is $4571 a semester or about $9100 a year. If you live in the residence halls and get a meal plan it jumps to $19,000 a year. That’s a $10K difference, so the COA is different living at home v. living on campus. I don’t know where you got the idea that it wasn’t?</p>
<p>You need to have a frank discussion with your mom to see if she is willing to contribute anything to your college education, and if so, how much. If she’s not, then you need to figure out a Plan B. That Plan B may involve waiting until you are 24 years old, or joining the military (4-year active duty commitment at minimum) or serving with Americorps for a year or so, or working and sharing the rent with some friends.</p>
<p>My 2 older siblings have always been suported by my mother. She paid for most of my sisters college [she took out loans too] and her apartment. She currently pays for my brothers college, he’ll be graduating in a wk. She pays for his apartment and for getting his car repaired an extra yr in college etc. I don’t know where some of you got the idea that my other siblings have been independent…that’s a joke. [my sis is now bcos she’s in grad school] I didn’t want to burden my mother having to pay for college/car etc for me when I was 18 thats why I didn’t attend school [plus I wanted to be certain of what I wanted to do/ get my head straight] CCSU has accepted me and I am going to take out loans/work and ask my mother to pay the rest. If she doesn’t want to or get her finances in order to work something out then our relationship is done and I’ll wait bitterly until i’m 24. [bitterly bcos my mother had 5 kids and my father 5] Thanks for the help some of you.</p>
<p>prettyparanoia -</p>
<p>It looks like your mom may have used up all of her money helping your siblings. Sometimes that happens. It doesn’t mean that she planned it that way. Given all of the troubles in the current economy, things might just have gone very badly for her.</p>
<p>“then our relationship is done and I’ll wait bitterly until i’m 24.” </p>
<p>I hope your mom is able to help you. I really do. It sounds like she has a big heart and wants to help her kids and it sounds like you have a big heart and have helped her. Don’t let that turn into bitterness, no matter how the $ turns out.</p>
<p>I’m in the same position. My parents have told me that they will not pay the EFC, whatever it is (I’m still a junior in high school). Does that mean I can’t go to college? My college dreams are being ruined right now. How am I supposed to cover the EFC if my parents won’t pay it and I can’t take out loans…ugh this is horrible ■■■. I just want to be a full time student and get my degree. </p>