<p>I have a question about parents roles during interviews - what is proper interview etiquette? Do parents talk to anyone or do you simply drop the student off and wait to hear what they say afterwards? </p>
<p>Our son has to interview and show his portfolio for tech theatre programs. I know he's fine talking for himself - I'm just curious about what we're supposed to do. Do we talk to admissions if we have questions or does he just do the interview and that's that?</p>
<p>My rule of thumb was to stay far in the background (preferably out of sight) during interviews/auditions. I felt that the only legitimate arena for parents asking questions is the area of financial aid.</p>
<p>At most of the schools we visited, during the admissions interview you wait in a lobby with other parents, and after they are finished with your child they invite you in to ask questions. At most schools when we visited the theatre department, and it was a casual information session between faculty and the student we were again invited into the discussion. When they are actually being interviewed or evaluated/ auditioned you are not needed to be there, and in fact they will not want you there. But they will have a place for you to wait.</p>
<p>Interesting thread ... thanks to techiemom for starting it! My D is a hs junior and we are just embarking on college visits, and have several set up for the next few months. At two of the three schools we are visiting, the person we spoke with in admissions said that she was setting up an "informal interview" with the MT/drama admissions office as part of the visit. I asked, point blank, "What is the protocol for this kind of thing? Do parents usually sit in?" and I was told, at both places, that indeed, parents <em>do</em> sit in, b/c these are just informal, info sessions and a chance for families to ask questions. But certainly, during the <em>real</em> admissions process, parents should NOT be there.</p>
<p>NMR - I agree with you! On initial college visits, when they were not part of the admissions process, I was in the information meetings with my son. During admissions and audition process, I spent many hours waiting outside, in the waiting rooms, etc.</p>
<p>Well... during my audition/interview, my mom pressed her ear up to the door haha. I actually told her to stand by so she could hear me sing and let me know how she thought I did. But I guess thats up to the student. My and my mom are compadres. She's got my back :)</p>
<p>We visited school with our son his sophomore year and we took our cues from the people interviewing him. If they invited us to stay we did but we opted not to talk unless there was a direct quedtion to us. Usually we sat a little away and I took notes when I could - there is so much to remember. I also took photos during the tour. We wanted our son to be as involved as he could and not have to worry about that stuff.</p>
<p>Usually after they talked to him then they took time to talk to all of us and we were able to ask questions. It was really interesting - at one school the person interviewing him kept watching to see if he looked to us when he was answering questions - later he commented that he was glad to see he didn't - that he answered for himself. In most cases he spent the entire day at the school going to classes or tech rehersals. It was a very good experience and he got great tips for his portolio and resume.</p>
<p>Now its time for the real thing. My guess is we'll hang in the background and see what happens. Thanks for the suggestions.</p>
<p>MTgeek, I am glad to hear you and your Mom are sympatico. I think most of us here also feel we have strong and good relationships with our kids. I doubt parents EVER sit in during a college admissions audition or interview; it's only when touring a school and the kid is having an informational interview that parents are invited to attend. And as far as pressing my ear against the door when my D auditions: NEVER! I want to be down the hall or in another room, so that I don't have to hear bits and pieces and wonder what is going on. Another mom whose D went through this last year told me it was unnerving hearing all the amazing kids singing in the other room.</p>
Parents should feel OK to ask questions when you’e in a general question and answer session. Things like scholarships, financial aid, etc are certainly fair game. I always asked about campus safety for my D. But yu don’t want to be asking about specifics about your child, like how they did with the audition, bragging about them to faculty, etc.
Parents in interviews, a resounding ‘no’! Honestly, there is no question parents really need to ask in a Q&A either. Everything the school is willing to disclose is available on their website. That’s where all the info is about scholarships and financial aid; if you can’t find what you need then ask the financial aid office privately. Likewise curriculum, study abroad, housing guarantees, and orientation procedures. The skinny on the other things (safety, party culture, Title IX issues, etc) will never come from administrators or faculty in that sort of setting. Google, as always, is your friend. Also current students and recent grads, but mainly Google.
Google and the national press will tell you if that school recently fired a coach for coming out of the closet. Google and the national press will tell you if that school has policies that might discourage students from getting one another to the ER in case of alcohol poisoning. Google and the national press will tell you if the fraternities or sororities on campus have been sanctioned by their national leadership or the university administration for hazing, vandalism, sexual harassment, and the like. Google and the national press will tell you if the school refuses to grant a charter to a pro-choice student group.
As a teacher - who often has to deal with “dead air” when I throw a topic out for questions/discussion etc- I found it hard to sit silent when the floor was “open” and no one was talking. It seemed really awkward. In my experience the 1st question “breaks the ice” and others follow naturally. On the other hand, you certainly DON’T want to be the helicopter parent with a million inane questions/comments, thoughts. D and I had a system. If I wanted to “help out” (meaning that it was obvious that they wanted questions and no one was giving them any) I had some innocuous, pre planned- and approved by D- questions that I would use. I would nudge her leg. If she nudged back, she was comfortable with me participating. If not, I sat silent. I wanted to give her the power of the choice, after all, it was her process. But I have also been standing in front of group and hearing crickets in what is supposed to be a conversation - and I hate to leave someone in that spot!
About six years ago, when my older son was applying to colleges, I was surprised to be invited into the interview room at pretty much every school, usually following the one-on-one interview between him and the admissions officer. This was also true with my theater son at a couple of schools, though not in the audition context, where it was strictly student and auditor(s). And at our first informal visit to Otterbein, his sophomore year, we went to the admissions office to ask for a viewbook and they set up an on-the-spot session with the arts admissions coordinator, who spoke with both of us for an hour–SO helpful. My own philosophy has always been that parents stay as far away from these things as possible, so I did have to get my head around the idea that I might end up being asked to speak with the admissions folks too. It’s probably good as a parent to be prepared for that experience, but not to expect it, and definitely not at auditions.
btw- I should have pointed out in my earlier post that the system I described was for large group sessions with lots of parents (fairly common at lots of auditions). I was never present at individual interviews, and if there were meeting during the visiting process etc (there were many schools who had one on one sessions, and I agree with @times3 - super helpful) D did all the talking.
Like @toowonderful - I was happy to “break the ice” in group sessions. And if a panel of current students was present, I ALWAYS asked them what made them choose this program? What pleasantly surprised them about it once they were in it? What was some of the “best learning” they were experiencing? Obviously their answers were “guarded”, but sometimes the faculty left the room so the students would talk more “candidly”. I found this very helpful in getting a sense of who my kid’s program mates might be, and sometimes got some surprising answers, unexpected insights. My thought was, if they didn’t want parents involved, they would have shut us out - and at some schools the parents were separated from their kids almost immediately. One particularly top-rated school that had been high on my S’s list dropped precipitously when not one faculty member bothered to speak to parents - not even a welcoming “hello”. Parents are paying, and in some cases sending their kids across the country or around the world. They have a right to answers to their questions. Totally agree about the “inane” and overly detailed questions.
In an interview situation, we went if invited (or S wanted us there) and only chimed in if there was something we felt needed more clarification or added detail - AFTER S said his piece. We also took the lead from the people giving the interview. If they addressed us directly and asked if we had any further questions, we piped up. I have a feeling faculty can size up a lot about a student by seeing how his/her parents handle interview situations. (Also, I don’t know about other people’s kids, but my S is not “the best” at remembering information - or conveying what was said.) We had been coaching S since junior high about how to ask questions, look people in the eye, listen, gather information - by taking him to an Arts college fair almost every year (did same for his elder creative writer and visual artist brothers). The first ones we went to included places that had summer intensives in dance/theater for HS students. In those first interactions I did most of the talking, and/or coached S on what to say/ask before we approached the table. As he got older, more confident, we left most of the talking to him - again piping up if we felt a piece was missing or needed clarification. In junior year we visited a few of the schools/programs and if possible met with faculty members. Over the years of “rehearsal” we also gained LOTS of general information and were better able to zero in on “focused” questions. By audition season, S had been in several “interview” situations and was pretty good at “taking the lead”. As an adult, I get nervous in interview situations. How can we expect our 17/18 -year-olds to handle themselves gracefully in such “high stakes” interviews if they’ve never practiced?
