Parent fail. What else can I do?

<p>The deal is, my parents (just my dad, actually, but asian family=whatever he says goes.) decided ten minutes ago that they are not going to help pay my college tuition at all whatsoever, and that I will pay off my tuition solely through loans. He wants me to live on-campus and he does not want me to work during college. Someone please shoot me.</p>

<p>So, I was wondering if there was any way I could reduce my college debt by disregarding everything my dad said. Would revising my status from on-campus to off-campus without parents affect my college grants negatively? How much would I be able to pay off with a Work-study job?</p>

<p>I have applied for scholarships, received stafford loans and gift aid that amount to about $11,000, and saved up about $3,000--but I still need to pay off $11,000.</p>

<p>What are some other methods that I could possibly use?
Any advice is appreciated.</p>

<p>I’d give your dad time to calm down.</p>

<p>You might consider telling him that you don’t want to start your adult life with a lot of debt, and so, given the current circumstances, will not be going to college and see what he says to that. :D</p>

<p>You might start Googling diesel mechanic schools and plumbing apprentice programs on the family computer, too.</p>

<p>The fact that your parents decide they won’t pay anything will be change your aid package one penny. You have to be declared independent for FA for that to happen. Unless you are 24, or married that will not happen.</p>

<p>Obviously if your parents are not paying for college, they have no business telling you how to manage it. You should almost surely get a job, and consider living off-campus if it’s a lot cheaper.</p>

<p>It looks to me like you also may have to come up with a less expensive college to attend. What options do you have?</p>

<p>Yeah, I was planning on getting a job and possibly finding a place off-campus if possible at this point because my dad clearly does not understand the consequences of what he is proposing; however I’m going to try and go with owlice’s method (the first part, anyway ;P).</p>

<p>I also understand that my parents’ decisions not to help me pay for college won’t change my financial aid, but I was wondering if changing my living status would.</p>

<p>And for me, a less expensive college would be junior college, most likely one close to home, and my dad’s constant nagging might just drive me into insanity. I really want to get into this college.</p>

<p>Hey, diesel mechanics and plumbers make good money!</p>

<p>^ That’s not nice. He/She obviously wants to go to college.</p>

<p>papership - You can do it. I did it.
You may want to make paperwork to borrow $11,000 now to make your dad happy then ask the FA office to revise your FA package and ask for work study instead of loan near the end of the first semester. If it does not work out during the first year then ask for less loan plus workstudy during the second year. Living off campus may cost you time and money (gas, insurance, car repair,…).</p>

<p>What about taking a lighter courseload at school, and getting a part-time job? It’ll take longer to get your degree, but lots of people have done it that way. If your parents aren’t going to contribute to your education, then I don’t see why it would matter how your dad feels about you working during college. Since you’re kind of on your own here, do it the way that makes sense to you.</p>

<p>Flipper, yes, I know the OP wants to go to college, and I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that his parents want him to go to college. If they don’t, what I’m proposing won’t work, of course, but if they do, then seeing the OP seek an alternative path because of a lack of funding may drive them crazy enough to pony up some money.</p>

<p>Sure, it’s really manipulative, maybe even mean, but pulling college money at the 11th hour isn’t very nice, either.</p>

<p>Makes me wonder if perhaps the parents didn’t realize how expensive college is, can’t afford it, and are embarrassed/ashamed now that their kid has gotten in to let their kid know they just don’t have the money. If that’s the case, I think the parents should tell the kid that, and work with the kid to figure something out. </p>

<p>In the meantime, the OP can look at alternatives, and let’s face it, plumbing jobs are not going to be outsourced to another country and they pay well!</p>

<p>What state are you in? Some community/junior colleges have residences. Your tuition would be lower, and you would be away from home.</p>

<p>What can/will your family pay? Nothing at all? Then you do have to find out how to pay for your education. Owlice does have a legitimate suggestion: there are one and two year career programs that will get you into a well paying job quickly. If you are earning your own way, you can study whatever you want and Dad won’t be able to control your decisions. Nephew2 and his wife both joined the Marines. This is a rather radical choice too, but it means they are completing their college educations for free.</p>

<p>I feel bad for the OP. My S has a friend in a similar situation. The parents let him apply to all these expensive schools and then only after he got in told him, BTW we are not paying anything. They are not wealthy but they are comfortably middle class. I don’t get it.</p>

<p>Iron Maiden- There is the law then there is reality. </p>

<p>A relative of mine got a divorce and ex- husband refused to pay for anything- while she is taking him to court her D was in freshman year. For sophmore year the college threw up their hands and opened up aid to to the D…She is NOT 24…She is 19 years old…I guess the college did not want to lose a student. The D received direct grants, merit aid, and subsidized loans…Last I heard the daughter only had to borrow $6,000 a year…There is the law then there is reality. If PAPERSHEEP’s parents refuse to pay she might have to borrow for the first year, live in dorms then appeal to finanacial aid office that she has no place to live…while this is not a foolproof plan it inadvertently worked for my relative.</p>

<p>Very sad that this stuff goes on…very sad…</p>

<p>Sorry that you are in this situation. I would call the financial aid office of the school you were planning to attend today to discuss your alternatives for obtaining the money. Our family didn’t qualify for need-based aid but the colleges still sent us big packets of information on different loan programs, student employment and payment plans. So they can probably work with you to put together the best possible plan. If they have accepted you they probably want to do what they can so that you can attend. </p>

<p>I would want to get far away from parents making such unreasonable demands. Perhaps you could look at the lists of colleges still accepting applications and apply to a few more places. The public schools in the middle of the country (Wyoming, the Dakota’s, Montana) seem to have the lowest tuition rates. We are still getting calls and emails from colleges accepting applications and giving out scholarships. One college that has been calling us recently is Rosemont College in Pennsylvania. Perhaps you could check them out. </p>

<p>Good luck and please keep us posted on what happens.</p>

<p>Sorry for the late reply–I had a senior project due (it’s actually due tomorrow, but I’m digressing).</p>

<p>I went to visit the college just before my dad went to Korea for a checkup. My mom told me that she would discuss the practicality of this situation with him, so I’m assuming that she did it while I was gone. I haven’t gotten a response as to whether he will support my college tuition since I just got back, but I’ll wait for a reply. If my mom hasn’t talked with my dad about this yet, I’ll confront him after he’s come back, when he will possibly be in a better mood. If my dad still does not agree to help pay, I do plan to take work-study and loans, ignoring everything he told me in order to do what I want. </p>

<p>I live in California, but I really don’t want to consider a community/junior college, as my dad will insist on it being close to home. I don’t care if he will pay for it because this alternative will probably be cheap enough for me to support my own weight and I’ll just be stuck with my dad. He will constantly make note of my mistakes in repetitive hour-long lectures and I’ll live under his house and never hear the end of it. I swear I’ll go insane if I do this.</p>

<p>My parents do have enough money to meet their supposed share, but I think my father wanted me to go to a better UC. I chose Riverside because it was low-key so I wouldn’t get distracted by friends and because I heard their engineering program was okay. I’m guessing that my dad is embarrassed to tell others or something because he believes that it is one of the “worst” UCs. As for me, I don’t really care as long as my education is adequate. </p>

<p>Going to an out of state college might be difficult for me. I don’t have a clue on what to do, and I wouldn’t be able to go see it first-hand. My parents are overprotective, despite their cutting me off. I’m also nervous about going somewhere without having a thorough background check of my own.</p>

<p>I might apply to the Air Force as a reserve if my dad doesn’t help me, and if all else fails I’ll go to the college and beg for help on my knees.</p>

<p>Just wanted to add my two cents towards the end – the Air Force is awesome! My boyfriend’s active duty and he loves it, and I’m considering joining the Reserves myself or going active duty when I finish my Ph.D.</p>

<p>If you are interested in the military, you could try to apply for an Air Force ROTC scholarship. UCR does not have the program directly, but you could complete it through cross-town arrangements at other nearby universities (see here: ROTC at UC Riverside). During your first year, you can apply for it. More info here: [U.S</a>. Air Force ROTC - In-College Scholarship Program](<a href=“http://www.afrotc.com/scholarships/incolschol/incolProgram.php]U.S”>http://www.afrotc.com/scholarships/incolschol/incolProgram.php). You will, of course, have to serve 4 years active duty and 4 years Inactive Ready Reserve if you choose this route.</p>

<p>Marry an immigrant who wants to stay in the country. It’s a proven tactic.</p>

<p>[U.S</a>. Community Colleges, by State](<a href=“http://www.utexas.edu/world/comcol/state/#CA]U.S”>Log in with Atlassian account)
Here is a list of all of the community/junior colleges in California. Find one that is just far enough away that you can’t live at home, and that has a residence hall (some of these schools do). Pick up the telephone and find out if you can still be admitted for the summer or fall term.</p>

<p>Once you are 18 your dad can’t require that you live at home. You can decide that you prefer to live at home, given all of your options, but he can’t make you stay there.</p>

<p>So wait… all you have to do is choose a different UC???</p>