<p>Hi, so I'm not a parent, but I figured this would be the best place to post it. :) So I'm a junior in high school. I get good grades, teachers love me, do good extracurriculars, etc. Basically, as my friends call me, I'm the girl that is every parents dream except for my parents. I feel like parents are supposed to push you to try new and harder things, yet my parents just about had a heart attack when they found out I signed up for 5 AP classes next year. They never get upset at me if I get a bad grade, which I love, but get mad if I don't have a busy enough social life. I understand they want me to have a well balanced life, but whenever I try to talk to them about this they always pull the "we're your parents" card. Do any parents have any advice for me about how to approach this subject with them?</p>
<p>I was concerned when my kid took 5 AP courses. Not that I thought she couldn’t handle it, but because I knew how difficult it would be for her. Your parents are probably remembering the fun they had in high school or how they missed fun during those years because they had to work outside of school or had to struggle with their classes. You may have to calmly explain why you are not as interested in a busy social life. Don’t argue with them; just state your case and suggest that you will all just have to agree to disagree.</p>
<p>I have to admit that this is so foreign to my mindset and experience that I can’t offer any rational advice. :)</p>
<p>My parents didn’t want me to take 5 AP classes one year in high school, but I ended up doing it anyway (and everything was fine). They want you to have fun and not stress too much about school. They probably don’t want you to be overwhelmed or bite off more than you can chew, which is entirely reasonable and understandable. It’s not just about pushing you to try new things. It’s also about making sure that you don’t make good choices that are right for you, and they may not think this choice is right for you. They could be wrong, or they could be seeing things that you aren’t seeing. They probably see how much work you’re doing and don’t want you to overload yourself.</p>
<p>Sit them down, and ask what they’re concerns are and address each one, maturely and thoughtfully. They want you to have an active social life? Say that taking less AP classes won’t actually make you have a more active social life because you’re happy with the way things are now–having less schoolwork will just make you bored. Say that all of your friends are taking these AP classes and you’ll be spending MORE time with them if you take them too. Maybe you can even bribe them by having a busier social life =D Are they worried that the workload will be too much? Show them what you’ve done in the past that demonstrates why you think you can handle it–your past workload, your past grades, your time management skills, etc. Tell them that you understand what it will take to do well in these courses, that you’re prepared to put in the effort, and that you’re willing to deal with the potential consequences of not doing well. Perhaps, you could ask your counselor to speak to your parents about whether or not they think you are willing to handle the courseload. Figure out exactly what they’re worried about and address it.</p>
<p>For me, I just told my mom that I hadn’t felt challenged before, and I wanted to see how much more I could handle, while I still had the support systems around me in high school. I didn’t want to go to college and finally figure out what my limits were when I was essentially on my own. I understood that it was a lot of work and it was going to be my responsibility–whether I succeeded or failed. Whether or not that will work for you, depends on your parents. I also had to convince my counselor to let me do it, but that was much easier. I just had to tell her I wanted to =D</p>
<p>I had a similar reaction (in my head only though) when my D showed me her senior year schedule and she had 5 AP courses plus was continuing to hold office positions in some of her ECs. Her junior year was so busy and she was pulled in so many directions, but she reminded me how much she enjoyed it and flourished. I knew she could handle her senior year fine. She told me at this summer, “you don’t get close to the finish line and stop–you go even harder”.</p>
<p>I am wondering if your parents understand how important it is to finish strong your senior year and show that you maintained a rigorous course load. You may need to explain this to your parents and let them know that it is important to keep up your course load for your college admission and merit award prospects. Also, it may be a good idea to explain why you are choosing these 5 AP courses, if you have not done so already.</p>
<p>Best wishes with your parents!</p>
<p>Sorry - My advise it to listen to their wisdom. Senior year is VERY busy with college apps, scholarship apps, senior activities etc. I talked DS out of a 6th IB class (which he didn’t need) so he’d have one block free to visit GC etc. He never regretted it, and in fact he still had a hard time getting the college apps done on time. </p>
<p>Take a look at the various colleges on your list (or a sampling if no list yet). Take a look at which courses will actually be useful. I realize AP courses are about more than just college credit, but you might as well prioritize the ones where credit is possible. </p>
<p>Be offended by my advise if you like. That’s ok - I’m a stranger. But know you own parents love you and care. There are worse plights. </p>
<p>I think what’s relevant is how does it compare with what you’ve done before–and how busy were you before? My daughter had signed up for 5 APs plus music, along with a college course, and when she told me she was doing something additional, I said, “You don’t have time”, but she insisted. Although she’s really enjoyed it, I think it was the wrong decision because she was very pressed for time this fall and did not devote the time she needed either to the college course or to the college application process. If 5 APs is no big deal compared to what you are doing this year, then it may be ok. But if it’s a step up in workload for you, I’d listen to your parents.</p>
<p>Can I ask you what you’re like? Are you easy-going? fun to be around? Or are you a knotted up stress ball most of the time? I’ve had one of each. Each child complains that the I treated the other differently. The easy-going one says, “You NEVER told the other to stay in and study.” The knotted-up stress ball says, “You NEVER tell the other to just blow off an assignment.” </p>
<p>Ok, I had no luck at all getting the stress ball to lighten up or the lackadaisical one to care about certain stuff, but my stressed-out kid has suffered some pretty severe consequences for her “I can do it all” view of life. Maybe you can do it all, but should you? Do your parents see you killing yourself with work, even if you can’t? There’s a lot to be said for balance. </p>
<p>Alien to my mindset, too. I expect my kids to have challenging schedules. If it proves to be too much, then they can change, but I like the idea that they see what they can do. (and they can do it)</p>
<p>What is the norm at your school? What does your counselor think? Does she think you are nuts?</p>
<p>How much non school stuff do you have going on? Maybe your parents worry you study all the time and don’t go out? Or as noted above, that you are a ball of stress? I would address their concerns.</p>
<p>It might seem that your parents are holding you back, but please stop and pay attention to their specific concerns. They have lived through a lot more real life experiences, and a schedule on paper always looks neat and clean versus the reality of all the work it will require. Plus, they have a great insight on your personality, work habits, need for sleep and down time, etc.</p>
<p>Let them talk, and then ask for time to think through their concerns before coming back with a detailed plan on how you can conquer/avoid the possible pitfalls of a busy schedule.</p>
<p>How many colleges do you plan to apply to? What is your plan for meeting deadlines for all the applications, not just for admissions office, but for scholarships, honors programs, outside scholarships, etc. That is what overwhelmed our D last year–her essays were done last minute, literally pulling off the interstate on a drive to one college’s scholarship competition to find a wifi spot to plug in laptop and email a scholarship essay for another college. Another time I had to race out to Kinko’s 24 hr copy store at 11:30 pm when an equipment malfunction kept us from scanning and emailing a handwritten document that had to get in by midnight.</p>
<p>It’s that kind of “no margin” life that your parents may be worried about. My daughter started scratching colleges off her list simply because she didn’t want to have to fill out more paperwork. That was sad for me to see her choices shrinking, but it was just the natural consequences of a super busy senior year.</p>
<p>What level of college are you applying to? Do you NEED the 5 APs, or can you get by with 4 ? What does your GC say? Do you trust that your GC has a solid grasp of what you need to get into the level of college you desire?</p>
<p>Parents are wise, despite what teenagers might think. Open your mind to truly hear what their objections are. They really do love you, you know. And they only want the best for you.</p>