Parent problems

<p>How do I convince my mother that getting a musical theater major is not useless, and doing something I love is worth the risk? She thinks I will "have no career and become a failure." To quote her.</p>

<p>I’m sorry to hear that you are not supported by your mom. Know that she is only worried about you - if she didn’t care, then she wouldn’t have said anything.</p>

<p>Parents of kids going into theatre have similar advice given to them. I always brace myself when people ask me what S is going to study at college. Our outlook has always been that college is a time to try things (and I’m not just talking about beer or freaky mushrooms!), and for theatre it makes so much sense. Will all theatre kids make it? No, but they will have had the chance to be in some great productions in college. They will learn to work as a team member, shoulder responsibility, manage an insane schedule - tons of real world skills - all while having the time of their lives! </p>

<p>You, too, can experience this if you want. It may be hard to do it on your own, but if you can express that to mom, maybe you can convince her. Or maybe you will have to go to a school with a great BA program, and tell mom that you will minor in something more work oriented, like computer science. Don’t know your mom, so not sure about that.</p>

<p>Good luck - come to CC! We will support you!</p>

<p>I honestly can’t think of a deeper and better education than a BFA provides. D is in acting, which is a little different from MT-- but all that Marbleheader says is true and more. The kind of poise and public speaking skill that comes from being onstage, the constant responsibility to your ensemble to do the very best work you can, the depth in which you study every play you do, the history of the time it’s set in, etc… And most of all, the immersion in the vision of each playwright, the exploration of the human experience… these things will stand you in good stead for your entire life, and help you to succeed on many different levels.</p>

<p>They have given great advice and I hope you can talk to your Mom about it more. I cringe too when asked what my daughter is going to do-and the dreaded question what is her back up plan. In the real world many jobs do not care what your degree is in just that you have one. You can always go back later to enhance the education you have already received. You learn so much as a theatre student. Doing what you love is so important and in time you will find out if that is to stay with theatre or explore other things. I for one can not imagine my daughter not doing something creative or people orientated and what better foundation than a degree in theatre!</p>

<p>I think about this every day and am terrified! Approach it with your parents as a profession, not just something you LOVE. Talk to them about all the other things BFAs learn besides acting/MT. They learn the business of the business. They are exposed to writing, directing, and tech. There are hundreds of opportunities when you aren’t in a show. Still scary…</p>

<p>My D is now a junior BFA MT major, and I couldn’t be happier with how she has spent her first 2 1/2 years! Her growth as a person and as a theatre artist has been absolutely phenomenal. She has taken advantage of all the opportunities her program has to offer. She just finished performing in a main stage show, and has now moved on to doing make-up for the next show. She is also on the PR and Marketing committee and just posted some great promo shots that she took for the upcoming production. She also writes a blog for TheatreMania University, sharing her experiences as a BFA MT. She works part-time in the theatre office, and has worked in the box office and as an usher. As crazy as her schedule is, she finds time to make all of this work. I never cringe when people ask me what she is studying in college. I love that she is so immersed in this amazing field of study and can’t wait to see what’s up for her once she does graduate.</p>

<p>You may want to read this and then share it with your mother:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/14496217-post80.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/14496217-post80.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Best of luck!</p>

<p>Put together a career plan. Show her what job you are going for, about how much it pays, and about how much the cost of college is. Convince her with numbers that college is a good investment for your future. </p>

<p>If you cant do that, your mother may have a point.</p>

<p>IMO, a college degree is a college degree. Not many concrete job opportunities for Russian literature majors either (my nephew), or English, or history, or just about any liberal arts. But you will still, on average double your lifetime earnings power just by having ANY college degree. At a reputable college, you will learn to write well, analyze plays and literature, organize/direct/manage, etc. Lots of valuable transferable skills.</p>

<p>Depending on what other interests you may have, besides a BFA in MT, you might consider the option of a BA program in MT. There are a number of schools that have fantastic MT majors that would allow for a double major or minor in another subject (Arts Admin, Business Admin, Education, Psychology, etc.) Not easy, but with prudent scheduling from the very beginning, and possibly an extra semester or two, it can be done. Most BFA programs, when asked about doing a double major or minor with the BFA, state flat out NO! Not possible. The BA MT major may be an option that satisfies both you and your mother. Check out James Madison University in VA, Muhlenberg College in PA, and Wagner College in NYC for info on their BA MT programs. All are highly ranked and well known. JMU and Wagner are both audition select programs; Muhlenberg’s audition is only for a dept. scholarship, but any student can declare as a MT major.</p>

<p>Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using CC</p>

<p>Here are some past threads that have dealt with this topic - many parents have the same concerns as your mom:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1344788-venting-anyone-else-tired-justifying-mt.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1344788-venting-anyone-else-tired-justifying-mt.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1325719-back-up-plans-cant-take-drama.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1325719-back-up-plans-cant-take-drama.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1326263-whats-ahead-after-college-graduation-mt-students.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1326263-whats-ahead-after-college-graduation-mt-students.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1318265-what-future-our-mts-training.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1318265-what-future-our-mts-training.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1372764-how-convince-parents-degree-musical-theatre-will-worth.html?highlight=degree[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/1372764-how-convince-parents-degree-musical-theatre-will-worth.html?highlight=degree&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Have you gotten into a program?</p>

<p>To the OP – not sure where you live, but if you are close enough to schools that have MT programs, your mother might be helped by having a tour and meeting some of the MT faculty, to see that studies are taken very seriously and to learn more about the “academic” portions of the degrees offered. Although we were very supportive of our sons interests in MT, it was enlightening to see several different programs, meet students, even see productions. Granted, you may have a tough job in convincing mom to go, but if one or two schools are close by, you might get her on board? Just a thought. Best wishes.</p>

<p>bailylouise96, you’ve gotten a lot of good advice here and EmsDad has pointed you to several threads on which this topic has been discussed in depth and where you can find a lot of support for advocating your position with your mother. I’ll just add here some thoughts that I’ve probably posted on some of those other threads but which bear repeating with the benefit of perspective a year or 2 later.</p>

<p>My daughter graduated with a BFA in MT from a conservatory type program at an arts university in May 2011. While she is not at the point in her performing career where she can support herself just by performing on stage, she has been in several shows in varying capacities from understudy for the role of Kim in Miss Saigon in a major equity production to performing as a principal in a musical review that has had a successful touring run at a variety of theatres in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. The training, people skills, team work, work ethic and other benefits of her BFA training have also enabled her to secure other employment. She works as a personal trainer for which she earns $50/hr. She teaches spinning classes at $33 per 45 minutes. She works for an entertainment company as its dance manager, an MC and a dancer for which she earns the equivalent of $40/hr when working an event as a dancer and $70/hr when working as an MC. She meets all of her daily living expenses without our assistance and is socking money away for the future. It’s not easy, but with determination and a creative, flexible approach, graduating with a BFA does not mean you will be a starving artist!</p>

<p>Her lifestyle is very non-traditional and as parents who come from graduate level education and professional backgrounds, we could not be more delighted for her. She is making her own way in life on her own terms and is happy with the choices she has made. She thinks about the future but at 23 knows that nothing is written in stone and that now is the time to explore her world and her dreams and passions. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Too many people become old and wizened at a young age because they have been denied the opportunity to explore their lives. We would rather have her take the risks now than lament 20 years from now that she let those opportunities pass by. For what it’s worth, you can tell you mom that these are the thoughts of a 59 year old Dad who is a devout micromanager and type A personality. I worry more about the job prospects of my son who is about to graduate law school!</p>

<p>^^^MichaelNKat…LOVE this post! So, so, true.</p>