<p>We received a letter today from a school to which my daughter has applied, inviting us to provide a parent recommendation. They ask us to decribe various aspects of our daughter's character, such as maturity, intelligence, drive, and acceptance of responsiblity. Do any parents have experience with this? Any thoughts as to pitfalls to avoid? Length of recommendation? I see this as a wonderful opportunity to highlight my daughter's strengths, especially as they relate to this particular school, but before I plunge in, I'd like to hear any other parents' thoughts.</p>
<p>Mezzo,
I already emailed you privately, but one school my D. has applied to also allows an optional parent recommendation. After my daughter's interview, I asked the admissions rep about this and he said that the committee finds parent rec's "surprisingly useful" in terms of getting perspective on the applicant's background and strengths/weaknesses.
He said the best parent recommendations gave perspective on how and where the student has grown up, as well as personal qualities that aren't usually mentioned in teacher/school recommendations. He said that they also find parental rec's that talk about areas of potential growth, both academically and socially, parents hope to see in their child during college particularly useful. My rec. for my daughter was just over a page.</p>
<p>I have had the opportunity to do a number of these for S's private school admission process (several different times.....). I'm really good at it! The key is to show aspects of your child that do not necessarily come through in the statistics. Humor can be good. An example of a tough time the kid has faced and how they got passed it can be good. This ia an opportunity to answer the question, "Who IS this kid, really?"</p>
<p>We were happy to have the opportunity to write a parent rec for S1 for Duke. I felt that it gave us a chance to add some personality to the overall application -- we added an anecdote about when he first learned to read, and something about his character and spiritual life. The data for his applications was self explanatory so I felt that this was our chance to show him as a complete human being, not simply a GPA or SAT score. Since other areas of the application and the teacher recommendations provided academic insight, we focused on extracurricular activities and personality, especially his sense of humor and how well he gets along with others. It ended up being about 1 page long.</p>
<p>I really wonder why more schools don't offer this option. I agree with you Sjmom, it does give some information and insight that can't be found elsewhere in the standard application forms. And, even well-written teacher recommendations usually can't add much detail about the applicants personal background that may be important for the admissions committee to know in order to put the rest of the application in perspective.</p>
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I really wonder why more schools don't offer this option.
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Seems to make life unduly difficult for parents, many of whom would probably find it quite challenging to strike the correct balance between reflective "objectivity" (insofar as possible) and support for their children.</p>
<p>I would not be a good rec writer for my kids. I hope I am not asked to do this. Gee, and then my kids could blame me for not getting in. No thanks!</p>
<p>I've always wondered whether the letter I wrote for my daughter's application to the college she is now attending had any effect at all on her acceptance there. I found the experience gratifying and even cathartic. I ended up providing my own perspective on the topic of her common app essay, contributing a view of her that was not represented in any of the other pieces of her application. I didn't find it hard to refrain from gushing, and I even took the risk of mentioning an area where she is not as strong, with the suggestion that she would be able to blossom in this college's environment (which has, in fact, happened, beyond my expectations). I showed the letter to her before I sent it off, and it met with her approval. I guess it might be easier to write this sort of letter if you have done any teaching -- you try to put yourself in the same frame of mind as if you were writing about any student for whom you had tremendous affection and respect.</p>