Parental involvement in application submission follow up ... how bad?

<p>Hi all,</p>

<p>DS has applied to 8 schools via common app. Confirmations directly from the schools have been intermittent, and although transcripts, school reports, recommendations etc. have all been sent via Naviance over a week ago, not all of the schools have confirmed via email or portal that they have the necessary info.</p>

<p>With the November 1 EA deadline looming, and knowing about all of the Common app issues, I want to call the admissions offices, on behalf of DS, and ask them to confirm what they do & don't have so we can snail mail anything if necesary. Is this a bad idea? Should DS be doing all of the follow up? </p>

<p>I kind of feel like he's done his job at this point.... it's just the common app and technical snafus that are even making these follow ups necessary. But, would it reflect badly on him if Mom made the calls? </p>

<p>Looking forward to advice.</p>

<p>I would have DS touch base with the guidance counselor to see if he/she has gotten any feedback on the school’s part of the process. If you’re still unsure, it makes sense for a parent to call since kids are in school during business hours.</p>

<p>From reading CC it seems we may be in minority, but we have had our D’s do almost everything associated with the college process themselves. Although I don’t think it reflects poorly to handle some of the communications as the parent, I think there’s value to having the Ds do it whenever possible.
We are there to answer questions and offer suggestions (and keep an eye on deadlines), but we feel getting to know how the school’s admin works is important - are they responsive, helpful, etc. Whatever school she goes to, D2 will have to deal with registrar and other offices just as D1 is doing now (successfully getting permission to take class that was full when tried to register, for example). D2 has arranged all her college visits, including private faculty music lessons, admission interviews, and even meeting an engineering dean by working through a connection and reaching out to his assistant! She has become adept at writing emails of introduction and thanks, and handles calls and emails with the colleges before and after school as well as during lunch if needed. Too early to know how it will play out for D2, but D1 loves her school and I am really pleased at how independently she resolves most issues she encounters.
Funny story… At small departmental chat when visiting U Mich, staff invited D2 and other prospective students to table and told parents to sit in back of room. One parent tried to join the table, protesting that he could better ask questions and take notes that way.</p>

<p>If it’s absolutely necessary for communications to be made by telephone, it may be better for the parent to do it because high school students have very limited access to phones during business hours. If the admissions office needed to call your child back, your child might not be able to take the call because he might be in class. He might even get in trouble for having his cell phone ring (or for placing the initial call at school).</p>

<p>However, telephone communication may not be necessary. Often, it’s possible to log in to the admissions Web site and see what’s been submitted and what’s missing. And if the state of the application isn’t clear, an e-mail may be the best way to get the necessary information. The e-mail should come from the student, not the parent.</p>

<p>Check the FAQs on their admissions sites. Often there is delay between when materials are posted online by the HS through Naviance or by students through CommonApp and when the admissions people download them and then update the student’s information about what has been received.</p>

<p>thanks afor the advice ll. Momof2 I agree it’s ideal to let DS do all the talking, and that he is learning great skills by doing so … but as others have pointed out it just might not be as efficient due to his busy schedule. DS talks to guidance counselor every day so he would know if she had heard anything.</p>

<p>We don’t even have logins yet at several of the schools, and a couple have not even sent any kind of confirmation. Focusing for now on the Nov 1 deadlines, I think I will make sure he sends emails to all of them tonight. Then if he doesn’t hear anything in a couple of days, I’ll pick up the phone to follow up.</p>

<p>Momof2…if you are a minority, we are in the group too. Our kids made ALL contacts with the colleges. Both had lunch and study hall. School ended before 3. Our kids managed to make these phone contacts from a phone hooked to our kitchen wall. Now, with very kid having a cell phone…it should be even easier.</p>

<p>I made calls for our kids if it was more convenient for me to do it. I have communicated with adcoms, housing and registrar on my kids’ behalf, it didn’t seem to have hurt their chance. Sometimes they were nicer (more responsive) to me than to my kids. My kids also weren’t some how crippled because I made the contact. I think people over think it sometimes.</p>

<p>A simple phone call of, “have you received everything?” is not going make anyone a helicopter parent. A call of, “Do you think Susie is going to get admitted?” or “Why wasn’t Susie admitted?” is over the top. My kids were in class all day. There was no way they would have time during work day to make those phone calls.</p>

<p>My kid left the house before 7 am and did not return until about 5 pm every day due to athletic practices (sometimes he didn’t get home until much later, because practice was followed by his music lesson, youth symphony, or a meet). He did not have a cell phone–we couldn’t afford it–and access to a phone at the school was almost impossible. If calls had needed to be made, I would have had to make them. Sometimes there is no way round it.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, I would suggest having your kid email the admissions office if there seems to be a problem after the two of you check the status of the app on the school and common app website. If there is a need, go ahead and call. Ad coms have to know that plenty of kids are incommunicado during business hours.</p>

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<p>Not if the kid risks suspension for using the cell phone at school.</p>

<p>Yes, or confiscation for the day. Believe it or not, there are people who either can’t afford to give their teen a cell phone, or don’t WANT to. We fell into both categories.</p>

<p>It is all about context, isn’t it?</p>

<p>If your child is home from school before 3pm, there really isn’t any reason why she/he can’t call. But if your child is out of the house until after 5pm, then I think it’s perfectly reasonable the parent calls. It’s not a matter of do they have a cellphone - if they don’t have the downtime to call, then having 1,2,5 cellphones just doesn’t matter.</p>

<p>I’m having D do a lot of the legwork but this isn’t a parenting philosophy; I’m lazy and she’s independent. If I have time and she doesn’t, I call. If she emails and doesn’t get a response, I email or call. I think the key in my case is D and I coordinate (mainly, me telling D what to do.)</p>

<p>In a perfect world, the child should do it. I could be wrong but are most of the kids that did do it themselves girls? I am finding a huge difference between how girls handle the college app. process and how boys do (not to be sexist). I heard a funny comment last night at my younger son’s pediatrician. She is a very bright, well respected Dr. with 5 kids and the 5th son is her youngest and a senior. I asked her how it was going and she said that she has no idea, he is her 5th but one thing she is sure of is that if the common app and essays could be taken care of on an X-Box she is sure everything would be done by now.</p>

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<p>Unless your child lives on the West Coast and is applying to East Coast schools.</p>

<p>My boys too did nearly everything themselves. I think the student emailing the adcon is probably best, then it’s not dependent on the person being in the office. That’s what I had my boys do.</p>

<p>momentscaught, I’m sure there are many boys who do everything for themselves, but I’m pretty sure my son won’t be one of them. When our daughter was his age (junior in hs), she’d made a list of schools to visit and even contacted a few admissions offices. I had no hand at all in the application process, except to make a phone call that she asked me to make because she was unable to do so herself.</p>

<p>By contrast, when we ask my son what schools he’d like to visit over his March break, he tells us not to pressure him. I have a feeling I’ll be doing quite a bit more oversight for him.</p>

<p>During the fall college application season, I did a lot of those kind of logistical tasks for my kids. It is REALLY hard for students to make phone calls to their prospective schools during business hours and many of them are heavily involved in ECs after school and admissions reps know that. </p>

<p>Both DS and DD handled (almost) all of the actual application process independently. And, the truth is, that even though I was working, I had a lot more free time than either one of them did. Making a few phone calls, or helping to keep the deadline calendar updated seemed like a harmless thing I could do to help relieve a lot of stress and give each of them more time to focus on homework, essays for other applications or scholarships, etc. </p>

<p>They got used to that service though. When my son was a freshman in college, he emailed me and asked me if I could arrange to have his AP scores sent to a college he was planning to transfer to. My reply was short: “No” </p>

<p>To which he replied: “Wait, what? Are you serious?” So, I asked him “Do I look like your administrative assistant?”, to which he replied immediately: “YES!” I explained at that point he had plenty of time to take care of stuff himself AND that some stuff about being an adult is a hassle. :)</p>

<p>Op,
I would ask my kid to email the admissions office; this way, they can email any time of day. When it is super busy, I’m sure that it’s much easier for the admissions office to deal with all this stuff via email than by phone. If kid gets no response after a few days, then either kid or you can call.</p>

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<p>I second, third, fourth, whatever this idea.</p>

<p>yep, he’s doing that tonight. thanks for the advice all. I’ll reserve my personal involvement in the phone calls for emergencies!</p>