Parental issues.

<p>You struggled to get through that math class, needed more support from Dad when you lost the job. Of course there’s tension. You tell us about distractions- some Mormon gal, racism, how you just love MS. Venting or not, doesn’t sound like you have approached this analytically.</p>

<p>Bottom line: for a May graduation, February is late to be thinking grad school. Even with a possible gap, you should know GREs were last fall, have considered taking them then- or have looked up GRE info on the web for upcoming dates. You should be looking at the U’s info, checking what they offer and the requirements, what they say about funding. Plus, grad school isn’t the same buffet of courses that UG is. You are supposed to have some plan in mind for the focus of your interests, what direction in, say, history. You should have been speaking with current profs and see what support you get. I don’t see any of that in your posts.</p>

<p>You can grad with the BA and work on funding your own future. </p>

<p>Will you have your BS/BA this May?
What did you end up majoring in?
What is your GPA?
If you are interested in Grad School, you need to talk to your advisor or a trusted professor in your department about that. You would need to find out:</p>

<p>Are you a good candidate for grad school? Would you be able to get recommendations from professors?</p>

<p>What do you need to do to get into Grad school? E.g., Take the GRE, etc.</p>

<p>Is a Masters or PHD useful in your major/line of work? For an Engineer, you would be fine with a BS. With Psychology, you need a PHD to work as a Psychologist.</p>

<p>What are the job prospects? E.g, what can you do with a PhD in History?</p>

<p>Do people in your area in grad school generally get tuition/stipend?</p>

<p>Does the colleges you are interested have a strong program in what you want to do? Like does Ole Miss have a good History or whatever program?</p>

<p>You really need to research what graduate school is all about (it’s not undergrad all over again). You need to find out what the cost is going to be (this could be very different at different schools, so you really don’t want to fixate on any one particular school) and what work opportunities there will be for you while in grad school. You need to research the particular faculty in the department you would be in and what are their specialties and would it be possible for you to be their student. It’s not about “falling in love” with a school or a state. You also need to clearly understand what this degree will and will not accomplish for you. My guess is that the only job a PhD in history opens up to you is college professor and also that those jobs are insanely hard to get. The PhD might actually make it harder for you to get alternative jobs (eg. high school history teacher). You should look into these issues before you run off and invest 5 or so years of your life toward that degree. </p>

<p>In no way am I expecting my parents to pay for it. A huge part of the past contention was that I spent most of my undergrad years jobless during the recession in a very small town.</p>

<p>My issue comes with, still being stuck at home (I’m leaving anyway this Summer, so that’s no longer a problem) but it’s the money issue, affordability and unconstructive criticism coming from the parents that has so far got the whole family’s hackles up. It’s one big voice that doesn’t want me leaving the state for college.</p>

<p>History is something I’m good at. It’s something I’ve even been THREATENED over. I think I could carve out a future with it.</p>

<p>But what have you done about your ideas? It’s not what level of discomfort you have that matters, in the end. It is how you think, evaluate, make decisions- and proceed. Those are on you. </p>

<p>Yes. But I think many here are right, independence should be first priority.</p>

<p>I agree that you may need a grad degree eventually to make full use of your education but I’d also agree that you will have more luck with that after a few years of work experience.</p>

<p>Generally students have job offers in the shute by now, or at least 1st-3rd interviews.
Have you updated your resume & been attending workshops & job fairs on campus?
You’ll want to have something lined up as soon as you graduate, so you won’t have to move home for more than a week or two.</p>

<p>I don’t see the “money issue” you keep talking about. How is there a money issue with your parents when you are financially independent from them? There is a money issue with the program you attend. You should contact the programs of particular interest to you, and find out what kind of financial support are the history students getting. In the sciences, students can expect full support and a modest income. In the humanities, students may have to pay for the education, or hold jobs over and above any teaching-related jobs the University may be able to offer them. For this reason, there can be a high attrition rate from humanities programs. There can also be students who spend an extremely long time (I’ve heard of 9 years) getting the degree because of the need to work a lot while in school. I would ask very specific questions about the situation at any program you’re looking at. As far as out of state, well, if you like that part of the country so much, move there. You cannot go to grad school this fall, so you can work and establish residence (check on the rules for this, I think it’s one year). OK, now you’re not out of state anymore.</p>

<p>There haven’t been any job fairs, or workshops on the campus I go to. There generally isn’t any at all.</p>

<p>I live in a very small town. The community college here, I went to it, then when they became a Satellite Campus of ASU, and my class is the VERY FIRST class they are putting through. The main campus doesn’t offer up much attention to us. On top of that, I spend most of the day at work. I haven’t received job offers, or anything of the sort.</p>

<p>I think you have to actually apply for jobs/attend job fairs in order to get job offers.</p>

<p>What you need to do is take ownership of this process. You can’t wait for things to come to you. Does your school have a career office? If so, make an appointment with them.</p>

<p>If you don’t have job fairs (or even if you do), go to a website like monster.com and search for jobs in your area. It is usually very easy to apply through the site, although you’ll have to have a resume and cover letter prepared first. Since you don’t have much experience with the process, try to get someone reliable to look over your materials - career services should help, but if they won’t, maybe consult a professor.</p>

<p>Since you live in a small town, you will probably need to expand the geographic reach of your search beyond your immediate area as well.</p>

<p>You might want to read a book about getting into and through graduate school. Might you want to become a history teacher (middle school, high school)? </p>

<p>Figure out what education/career you want, and the family stuff will follow. You’ll pursue your goal and either your dad will be supportive or not. You’re ready to head out on your own, but do a lot more research on your options first. (And by “research” I mean read some books about grad school, teaching careers, etc. Authors work hard to prepare, organize, and present answers to your questions.)</p>

<p>Well, just like most soon-to-be graduates are doing, you need to search for a full-time job. Search in the geographical area where you might like to live, and start sending out resumes. Get a job, apartment, move and start your life as a grown-up. You could be in town, a state away, or across the country. You need to support yourself and live your life. If your family doesn’t like it, they will adjust. They made their decisions in life, and now it’s your turn. After you have a job and are making some money, then start thinking about what you might like to do long term. Teaching isn’t for everyone. If you didn’t pursue teaching certification during your Bachelor’s, you might want to think about why; did your school not offer it? Substitute teach until school ends this year, just so you can see if you can really tolerate it. Otherwise, the Government hires History majors for lots of types of jobs, museums, etc, might also be good to look into. When you are working, you may find a job that will pay for some or all of your graduate studies. Take it one step at a time. Good luck!</p>

<p>Think about the part of history you really enjoy. You could get into grad programs in political science, international studies or relations, Homeland security type field, writing textbooks for publishers, etc. Lots of avenues to follow for grad school, lots of choices to investigate!</p>

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<p>Why do you need to get your dad to stop saying the N-word for you to accomplish what you want?</p>

<p>zonie…you’ve had at least two other threads dealing with this issue. the answer is the same. Put on the big boy (or big girl) pants and take control of your life.</p>

<p>I know that sometimes when kids have over-bearing/controlling parents, they can have a hard time realizing that when they get to a certain age, they don’t need parents’ acceptance/approval or anything. </p>

<p>Your dad’s close-minded views are his, and should have nothing to do with you. You need to do what you want, and then (maybe) he’ll see how nutty his thoughts are. But even if he never does come-around, who cares. He no longer can tell you what you can or can’t do. </p>

<p>I’m not saying that you need to be “in your face rude” to your dad. Just quietly make your plans, and when you have everything in place…move on. Don’t give him too much of a heads up so you don’t have to listen to too much. Once you’re in Miss or wherever, distance will be a blessing.</p>

1 Like

<p>Yes, time to spread your wings and fly. It is your life, you need to take some action. Not saying it will be easy, but you won’t get anywhere if you don’t venture out. You can still love your parents, even as you follow your own path. It is not about not loving or appreciating what they have done for you, it is about you living your life on your terms. It’s scary, when you don’t know what is out there, and the support would be nice, but it doesn’t look like you are going to get it from your dad. It is hard to strike out on your own, but plenty of people have broken away from over controlling parents. You can too.</p>

<p>Another voice here saying you shouldn’t be thinking about grad school at this point, I get the feeling that what you really want is to be able to do (undergrad) college over again and get it right this time, and applying to grad school is in your mind a way to do that. It won’t be. I’m really sorry about your turbulent college years, but the important thing is, you made it through and you will soon have your BA. Now is the time to pay attention to other aspects of your life and quit being a student for a while.</p>

<p>A passion for history is a wonderful thing, and is something you can easily pursue outside of a structured academic environment. Are you doing that? Are you reading history books in your spare time because it’s what you’d rather do than anything else? If not, I wonder whether getting a MA or PhD in history is really right for you. Loving to take history classes is a different thing than loving to teach history or do research.</p>

<p>Bottom line, your academic record is not that stellar right now, and you will have a much better shot at being accepted to grad school if you spend some time in the working world and display both maturity and a reason why a grad school should accept you. </p>

<p>Can you move to Mississippi, find a job, and take one advanced history class per semester? You could also work on a MA in Teaching/History and Social Studies.
In both cases: get excellent grades (by which I mean all A’s and A-'s) to increase your odds of getting into a grad school. To get into grad school, you’ll need to have taken as many advanced classes in history as possible and it doesn’t sound like your current college provides that.
Have you been asked you write a thesis to graduate? If not, that’s another reason why you might want to take more advanced classes elsewhere.</p>

<p>This is a list of classes offered to undergrads at Ole Miss (probably over 2 years, in rotation)
<a href=“Undergraduate Courses | Department of History | Ole Miss”>http://history.olemiss.edu/undergraduate-courses/&lt;/a&gt;
This is a list of classes offered this semester:
<a href=“http://history.olemiss.edu/2014-spring-course-descriptions/”>http://history.olemiss.edu/2014-spring-course-descriptions/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Look at the textbooks and sources used in each class. Do they match what you’re doing right now?</p>

<p>You would need at least 2 classes corresponding to the 400 level classes and preferably 3 to 5 300 level classes (equivalent) to be competitive for grad school. If you don’t, you should take the extra classes per credit while you work and keep an A in all of them. Once you’re established in town and have made yourself positively known through those courses, probably after 2 years, see if you still want to apply to grad school at Ole Miss and apply.</p>

<p>I see where you all are getting at. I feel disappointed yet relieved, in a way. </p>

<p>Years of disappointment led to this. Big time disappointment, like having no job during the recession, my parents losing the house we lived in, being moved out with grandma and just watching her die. Sitting by myself for months and just WATCHING it. Grinding through an algebra class while being belittled and screamed at by my dad about how my major was this-and-that, and how I’m throwing my life away by going back east.</p>

<p>College wasn’t like that for my friends, I was told it was going to be the best years of my life. That my social life would be better, classes more invigorating. I always wanted to go somewhere South for college, but I guess the last several years just wasn’t the place for it. But maybe now is, and if it isn’t, at least I can at least see it for myself before I give up on it.</p>

<p>I feel for you, Zonie, I really do. But going to grad school to get a chance to make up for missing out on the dream undergrad experience is a TERRIBLE idea - and, as a current grad student, I can tell you that graduate students do not have anything like the social life of an undergraduate anyway.</p>

<p>What can happen is that you figure out what you want out of life in time to make other dreams come true. It doesn’t have to happen all at once, but you should start taking steps to have a life better than the one you have now.</p>

<p>Once you start figuring that out, people here can give you concrete advice toward achieving reasonable goals (as others have mentioned, based on what you’ve said moving out may be one step to take right now). Grad school of some kind could be one of those goals, but only if it is part of a serious plan for the future and not something rooted in the desire to belatedly live out your college experience - and you’d have to do a lot more research first. </p>