Parental Post-Application Agitation

<p>I felt the same way last year. I think part of it is the realization that, once the apps are all done and sent, that’s it… everything is out of your hands now. Looking for more schools gives you some sense of control again. </p>

<p>But one drawback of applying to more schools is, what if she gets into all of them? Or most of them? That’s what happened to my D… and while it’s a great problem to have, it’s still a problem. Which one to choose?! For us, making that final decision that was more agonizing than the applications and the waiting! And even though my daughter LOVES where she is, I still feel a weird sort of guilt and sadness when I see the names of schools she turned down. I wish she hadn’t applied to so many!</p>

<p>I agree and have the same feelings. All apps in - 6 acceptances with merit and waiting on one that should come by the end of the month. But my dd has no idea which school she is picking! I am working on the “it will all work out” motto.</p>

<p>I have similar feelings, not about finding the perfect school, but because DS’s final list was not constructed the way I would have constructed it (very heavy on the HMFRs). But he has a couple of safeties, and at the end of the day, there’s always a gap year if he doesn’t like his choices. So it is I who needs to chill. But it’s going to be a long couple of months waiting.</p>

<p>Thanks to all for the support, advice and words of wisdom. Definitely time to chill!</p>

<p>If it makes you feel better, we had some of the similar feelings recently after ordering a car. </p>

<p>We’ve been shopping on and off for over 3 years because the 1998 has happily surprised us by chugging along fine. We’ve been leaning toward white color for over a year - it seems a good color for coolness in CO sun and graceful aging. Yet a few days after ordering DH said, “maybe we should consider changing the order to silver”. We almost swung by the dealer but opted to hold steady on our decision ;)</p>

<p>You are not crazy. My son all along has said that he wanted to go to a large university in a college town, lots of school spirit, that has a strong liberal arts as well as professional options. Just when I thought our search was over, he decided that what he really wants in a small liberal arts college in New England or Upstate NY. He applied to his favorite liberal arts college but was deferred. He applied to 3 New England flagship universities and was accepted Early Admission with scholarship money. He’s still holding out for being accepted to one of the small liberal arts colleges that he applied to be accepted. The liberal arts colleges that he applied to are reach schools. I tried to encourage him to apply to liberal arts colleges that are less competitive. I’m worried that he won’t get into any of the smaller schools but he is resistant about completing a last minute application to a smaller safety school. I try to stay positive for him but realistically I know that there are a lot of stellar students who he is competing against for these smaller more competitive schools.</p>

<p>Oh, nottelling, I have so many of the same feelings. Feeling like he won’t have enough options. I started to encourage my son to add to the 7 schools to which he’s already applied, but quickly realized I was stressing him out. He is very happy with his choices. I am also losing sleep after his decision NOT to apply ED to his #1 choice and just apply RD. But if he had applied ED, I would be losing sleep about that! This too shall pass. Four months from now the decision will be made and I’m sure it will work out.</p>

<p>Not a surprise this is tough for me. I always fly Southwest. Why? Because I can change my mind at the last minute!!</p>

<p>I did get some nice pills from my doctor to help me sleep! It’s helped a lot. Highly recommended! ;)</p>

<p>Most kids will get a great education wherever they go. The thing that got me (I’m way past the application process) was the randomness of the circle of friends. That if my daughter had chosen a different school she wouldn’t know any of the great people she knows now, and would know other great people. And her whole life might have been different because of the circle of friends. That is what really blows me away.</p>

<p>There are moments I still feel that way and my kids are either graduated or still in college! It’s pretty normal.</p>

<p>My DS has appied to 9-10 schools. Today, I had the feeling that maybe he missed the perfect one. While on the website for the school and loloking at the financial aid for this school, it stated the the CSS Profile was due Jan 1,2013. Now wondering if we should call the school to see if they are still accepting?</p>

<p>Keep in mind a few things:</p>

<p>1) Your child can only attend ONE college - at least, only one at a time. I think a lot of CC parents and students become so obsessed with collecting acceptances that they forget this fact - no matter how many wonderful schools you find, no matter how many acceptances come to your house, you have to narrow it down to ONE. Repeat this paraphrase of the Beatles: “All you need is one, one, One is all you need.”</p>

<p>2) There is no perfect college. All have their strengths and weaknesses. All have some kids who are lousy roommates and at least a couple of professors who are boring or mean or disorganized. </p>

<p>3) There are probably several colleges where your child could succeed and be happy. You don’t need to find them all - you only need to find one of them. And the fact that you might not find ALL of them doesn’t matter - as long as you find a couple of them. (“All you need is one…”)</p>

<p>4) If, in the end, the first choice doesn’t work out, many kids transfer and go on to have happy college careers.</p>

<p>I can relate to the OP’s feelings - I tend to be a perfectionist who has a hard time making decisions and wastes a lot of time second-guessing myself. So what if I picked a good vacation spot or plane ticket or appliance - what if there was a BETTER one, or one at a better price? Studies have shown most people are actually happier with fewer choices than with unlimited choices - we tend to have “buyer’s remorse” for all the choices we pass up.</p>