<p>Hi all. So first I'll say i like this website, it's helpful to me as I go through the college admissions process. I will probably use it in the future also. But there is one thing that gets on my nerves so much here. Obviously, the chance me threads and individual college sites show how much tension there is to get into a certain school. People want to go to college at school x, school x needs to accept them, etc. That's great. It shows excitement for the future and commitment to seek higher education. Then I started finding some other threads. They went along the lines of, "my parents want be to be a (insert profession here) so I worked hard to get into (insert school here) and now I have realized I am totally unhappy and have no interest in (profession). What do I do?" In my head, I'm thinking, Really? Your mommy and daddy want their little baby to become (profession), so you just wasted all that time and effort over admission to just be unhappy? I understand some cultures have a stigma where the parents pressure their kids to be a certain thing, but c'mon. It's 2011 and young people are more independent than ever. And if they won't like you for what you chose in life, big deal. You're 18. You can manage by yourself. I was raised to believe that as long as I was able to support myself and my future family, I could do whatever I wanted in life. How can people completely ignore their wants and aspirations just to please their parents? It seems unrealistic. If I'm missing a huge point, someone please point it out.</p>
<p>In a lot of cultures ( like asian cultures), parents pay for their children’s education and therefore have a grip on what they pay for. They’re not always going to let up if the son or daughter wishes to go into a field against their wishes. There’s also the idea of wanting to make parents proud, which it’s wrong for the parents to ingrain in their children’s heads, but it happens.</p>
<p>Okay. But isn’t that bit old fashioned? And the whole purpose of raising your kid and paying for their college is to give them a good life. How are they going to have that if they (kid) are not happy? And if the parents think a good life is the profession they chose, a simple conversation that the kid initiates could be a changing point.</p>
<p>My parents will only pay for my college if I become a doctor.</p>
<p>I’m not going to be a doctor, so I have to rely on scholarships, grants, and student loans.</p>
<p>Some people don’t see taking on that huge financial burden at such a young age worth it though - they’d rather pursue a career that they aren’t entirely interested in and have their parents help them out. Which is totally reasonable, when you think about it.</p>
<p>@OP, please, tell my parents that and I will love you forever</p>
<p>My parents have raised me to believe that becoming a doctor is the only “good” job there is. Jobs like teaching and (can’t think of any others they mentioned) are for “regular” people with “no high goals in life”. </p>
<p>I don’t know what profession would make me happy, so I’m stuck with my track of becoming a doctor. Thanks, mom and dad! 
not</p>
<p>Yeah, I don’t want that huge financial burden that readytolearn has…so I guess I’ll just become a doctor.</p>
<p>I’m not sure I agree with your claim that 18 year olds know enough.</p>
<p>I believe that any stage of life, people think they know more than they actually do. I love to cite a quote when I say this… </p>
<p>“The less you know, the more you think you know, because you don’t know you don’t know.”</p>
<p>I don’t think we are truly capable of making decisions that can possibly affect our lives at such a young age. Eighteen is too early. Most eighteen-year-olds only lived within the realm of their parents and schools… What do these kids know that they can draw conclusions about what they want to do for life?</p>
<p>Oh, and no. I’m not saying that parents should be the ones to decide what their child should become.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what is the ideal solution for this predicament…</p>
<p>lol, It seems like everyone’s parents here wants them to be doctors. Same here, and they’re paying for most of my education.</p>
<p>I respect readytolearn’s drive to do what they want and then deal with having to pay for it. You can budget your loans out over a period of time, even though it may be a LONG time. I could potentially see the option of attending a less expensive school for undergrad, and then maybe having your employers pay for grad school if it makes you a better worker. My dad was given that opportunity and didn’t take it… 
and I wasn’t implying that you are a totally wise person at 18, it’s just that you’re not 5 and should have a basic idea of what you want and what you’re good at and should pursue it. And if your parents disown you for your choice you are legally independent, so it’s not like you’ll need their consent to live on your own.</p>
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<p>This is the exact part I don’t agree with…</p>
<p>How does one know what he/she wants to do at eighteen?</p>
<p>“I was raised to believe that as long as I was able to support myself and my future family, I could do whatever I wanted in life.”</p>
<p>As a parent, I totally back that statement. It’s the mantra in our household also. You can study what you like but make sure “you can get a job”. Love my kids and I want them to be self-supporting.</p>
<p>That said, doing what you love as a career is extremely important. Concessions may be made but going into a field you truly dislike is wrong. You’ll wake up years later changing fields midstream. Happens all the time.</p>
<p>Many parents just don’t have faith that their kids will obtain jobs in their chosen fields of study that will give them enough money to support themselves and that future family. Therefore parents try to direct kids in a direction that they believe will provide a steady income for them in the future.</p>
<p>JeffJung–I happened to grow up in a family who had some very clear ideas of what they wanted to do since they were very young. If you don’t know, take some tests and get an assessment of your talents. It’s not always accurate but can be a starting point. </p>
<p>If you have a desire to study something that isn’t perceived to have great career options, do some research into the job opportunities that do exist in that field as well as any related fields. </p>
<p>Education is a very expensive proposition. Parents see it more times as a “means to an end”–a good job. Students see it more perhaps as a “growing experience.” with a job at the end. They are both right but in a tight economy the side that wins depends on who is paying.</p>
<p>Jeffery-most people can’t sit down when they’re 18 and know exactly what they want, down to the detail. You are right. But 18 years of life experience, despite how little that is, will tell you a very basic, general idea of your primary likes and dislikes. Blood has made you pass out since you were three-don’t think doctor is a good choice kind of thing.</p>
<p>And gouf- that makes sense as well-parents want their kids to be self supporting and want to guide them into what they think that is. But one point. I, for example, want to work at a publishing company. My parents didn’t have a problem with it to begin with, but one day I decided to research the average salaries for the professions to see if I could make it. I found out that I could with an English degree (my desired degree) but having an MBA raised one’s salary significantly. I told my parents this and they were impressed and supported by decision to consider grad school. So could research proving that said career could support themselves change a parents opinion? I think it can.</p>
<p>Sure, you had some experiences with different subjects, but the experiences are very shallow to an extent that you really don’t know anything about the subjects. You can’t know how the watermelon would taste simply by licking to taste the rind.</p>
<p>flowers–that’s why I said to research your fields! Of course it changes parent’s opinions.</p>
<p>Jeff–Examples from life:
My dad loved airplanes from age 5. He is the proverbial rocket scientist.
My D is the creative person from age 3–artist at major company.
I’ve many friends who have gone back to what they loved growing up. One became a systems analyst who now does beading (very talented young). She was smart enough to be a systems analyst but eventually the talent took over (she teaches world wide).
Another became a nurse (parent’s desire) who always wanted to do art–she now runs an art studio.
One always loved books–a librarian.
One in high school thought that he wanted to be an astro physicist–no, didn’t become a physicist–went into computers and travels the world.</p>
<p>My point is that many people do have an inner calling.
If you do not, take an assessment of your talents and try to find some fields that may fit your profile. What’s your favorite subjects? Hobbies (my favorite start)? Introvert? Extrovert? Organizer? total slob? How do you relate to people? Old ones, children? Political at all? </p>
<p>You will never know how any particular field will work out. Everyone’s experiences are their own. Nothing is ever perfect. There is a MAJOR learning curve in the real world. I never started a new job expecting to love it for the first few months. Good thing too. A lot of times you need to hang in there to get in the groove.
Okay, off my soapbox…but I did know my chosen field fit my talents.</p>