<p>I'm a Senior at a private school in NE Wisconsin. Currently, I'm a Vocal Performance major and have done quite well for myself in the undergraduate level of performance and study in music. In my time of undergrad study, my parents have continually been very cautious about how they support my creative growth. I was originally a Music Education with emphasis in Choral Education. I found that my abilities as a singer were far undeveloped from what they could be, and I chose to instead do performance. With more intense lessons, my voice has started to blossom into different ranges I never had before and techniques I never was able to achieve. I never had private voice lessons as a high schooler, but always did well in regional competitions. </p>
<p>My parents were not happy with me leaving education because that meant instability. They have continually pressured me to go into business instead and leave music behind me. Instead, I continued to do music, and they slowly came to accept that. They still don't completely support my decision, but they at least understand that I've moved in the direction that means there's no going back now.</p>
<p>Now, I am planning to move onto Graduate school for a dual degree in Performance and Library Information Sciences. I hope to achieve a happy medium of financial stability in a librarianship position with either a conservatory or public library. I also want to remain mobile to move into Opera if I have the opportunity to. Tie those two goals together with the academic setting of librarianship, and I have all sets of my passions in music and studies put together. I've also moved into an apartment with a couple colleagues for the last year of school in order to get a taste of independent living before graduation.</p>
<p>My parents are not happy with both decisions. They feel that graduate school is unnecessary unless the income is able to pay off the loans immediately. They also never went to grad school themselves, so they don't know what to expect based on personal experience. They also have continually been disappointed that I didn't follow in the family footsteps of secure, public servant careers with music being a hobby and not a career. The apartment, to them, is delayed gratification and a waste of money when I could pay for the gas to commute an hour from home to college and back to work instead. </p>
<p>In summation, my parents are disappointed in me, and it's putting such a strain on my relationship with my parents that I am currently in a state of distress just thinking about heading home for the weekend to visit. How do I deal with the disappointment? How do I tell them that this negatively impacting my familial ties with them? How do I prove that I have the maturity and responsibility to make Graduate School work out?</p>
<p>Just curious, but have you considered getting a grad degree in library information sciences and at the same time pursuing VP with weekly private lessons? For most MM VP majors, the most important aspect of study is the opportunity to perform roles. Taking into account rehearsal and study time that would be virtually impossible for a double major. I know that when D was in rehearsals, the only thing that she got “time off” for was a couple of hours on Thurs evening for her church job rehearsal and the subsequent Sunday morning off. The rest of the week…she was at their beck and call, from nine in the morning till at least ten at night.</p>
<p>Basically…do you have a particular program in mind where this is even doable?</p>
<p>And don’t confuse parental concern with parental disappointment. They sound concerned. Do your goals reflect the realities of both grad school and the market place? Do you know someone who has pursued this double degree? And subsequently pursued both a professional career in opera and library sciences? If this is a viable path…I think that the more information your parents have on this career trajectory, the more secure they will feel.</p>
<p>After researching into Music Librarianship programs, the two programs I have in mind are set up so that it is possible for a dual degree, and list that Performance is an option that compliments LIS, both are UW schools.</p>
<p>I know that dual degrees are pretty standard practice for Music Librarians, since most schools do not offer an individual Music Librarian degree. I cannot speak with certainty that people have maintained both careers at once. However, I see it, as do my professors, as a smart move to keep both career paths open, since they mutually benefit each other.</p>
<p>This sounds good on paper…but when will you be able to sing? </p>
<p>I would ask to chat with a grad who has done both an MM in VP(specifically). I am just saying…opera and VP is a different animal from instrumental performance and you need to be sure that your performance experience in grad school prepares you to sing professionally (since that’s what you are after). This might be something that concerns your parents and if you can demonstrate the feasibility of the program, they might be won over.</p>
<p>No no, thank you! I hadn’t considered the points you brought up, and I’m glad to hear something about MM VP. I want to get to my Music Librarian by using VP as the music portion of the degree, which seems like it’s possible if one is completed before the other, presumably the LIS degree. Only a couple classes of the LIS degree are devoted to the Music Librarian practice. </p>
<p>So, with the concerns you have before, you have me thinking about how it would work out to start a degree in LIS and then do VP…are dual degrees common in Music?</p>
<p>It feels as though you want to be a performer? If so you should get a true gauge on your talent which means auditioning professionally. The feedback will give you the guidance as to your next step. Great feedback is a job. Good feedback is to go back to school/training for more development. Bad feedback is bad news but will make your life decisions so much clearer. The next big question-Are you ready to be a starving artist? The time to do it is right out of college. GL</p>
<p>I assume you are young (22 or so) right? If so then you need to remind your parents that nothing is set in stone. You can indeed go out and give your passion all you got and see where it takes you. You might be surprised and find yourself successful or you might find at some point that you want to do something more practical. But if you never throw yourself into your vocal performance career you will never know and will always wonder what might have happened if you had. You need to remind your parents that your future happiness depends a lot on your making decisions that you will not regret later. </p>
<p>I knew a young woman in college who had a passion for singing. At our 25th reunion she performed. She is a performer and a manager of a small regional opera company and is also a professor of opera and voice at a university. She is about as happy with her career as anyone can be and living a very full and wonderful life. Is she a star whose name everyone knows and who performs with the metropolitan opera? No. But she has a successful career as a vocal performer and has built a wonderful life doing what she loves. It is indeed possible if you love something enough to make a career and life out of that love.</p>
<p>One of my son’s friend’s parents said he did not want his son to go to college to study music because there were only a handful Jazz trumpet players who were well known. But that “fame” argument, which many use to discourage future artists from pursuing art doesn’t make sense to me. Imagine if we used that argument with other careers. Nobody would go on to study anything. And there are many ways to build a life around a passion without necessarily being the best of the best. You might not become rich but you at least will be doing something you love every day which is a lot better than sitting in a cubicle being Dilbert.</p>
<p>Are you expecting that your parents will pay for graduate school? Perhaps that is where their concerns are coming from; they may have anticipated that you were going to be independent at this point.</p>
<p>Wow…so I forgot about this after awhile! My apologies for my tardiness in response. I’ve since read all the responses. Thank you all for your responses, it makes being confused less stressful.
I have since attended an opera workshop at a different university across the state, and it definitely helped me gauge my abilities as a performer. Based on that experience, I feel that I have a good chance at a place in the professional singing world. However, more and more professionals and professors at the workshop encouraged me to “double dip” in performance and academia.<br>
My parents have made it clear that they will not support me beyond moral and familial obligations if I go to grad school. I’ve since been saving money and looking into fellowships/assistantships.</p>
<p>I just want to say that you have sounded very mature and reasonable in all your posts :)</p>
<p>The issue of practicality and income comes up on this forum all the time. I am a parent with two kids in the performing arts, and can understand the anxiety, but think it may be misguided. You have a bachelor’s degree and have access to jobs and professional or master’s/PhD degree programs like anyone else with a bachelor’s.</p>
<p>There are many jobs that you can work in, related to music or not. Have you volunteered or interned at all? For instance, opera companies need all kinds of help which could point you to a “day job” of sorts, for the future.</p>
<p>In the meantime, though, I hope you can pursue VP. Someone posted something on here awhile back that I wanted to make a poster of. Something about living life without the kind of regrets from not pursuing a “passion” that calls you.</p>
<p>Where did the LIS come from? Is that a genuine interest or just for stability? Just curious.</p>
<p>Again, you sound like you are on top of things and very aware. Good luck with everything. Maybe your parents will come around eventually. Your drive should convince anyone, ultimately. And hearing you sing!</p>
<p>Hi Compmom – I dug the comment up for you ;)</p>
<p>OP – this isn’t meant directly to you in your case per se…this was essentially the conversation I had with my son when he decided to go into music – but best wishes to you – you sound like you have a plan in hand ;)</p>
<p>After a very long couple of months where I researched, discussed, and put myself out there as a performer, I applied to a few grad schools. I have been accepted to one on early admittance, and it was my first choice. This school will allow me to pursue both degrees and are very excited to see their first participant in this program in many years! I couldn’t be happier and more excited to see what the future holds for me.</p>
<p>Thank you for the support, and I’ll be completely honest, my parents support my decision once I had a personal discussion with them about it. I received a call one day where my parents told me that they see the passion within me to support my decision for a masters in VP and LIS. </p>
<p>copmom-That’s a fun story actually. I was working for my college in the ITS department as a Help Desk Representative. That office was housed in the campus library, so I often worked and chatted with the Circulation Desk Staff and professionals. They talked to me about the possibilities that exist in the music librarianship/archiving world, and it just attracted me from the beginning. I currently work at an internship for my college that involves music archiving and digitization. The institution has a rich history with the order of priests that founded it. Many of the priests were composers as well as professors. I have loved the job as much as I love performing, and I want to keep both my passions alive.</p>
<p>Lastly, I’m very grateful that this forum exists. It certainly put my mind at ease seeing (not just knowing) I’m not alone.</p>
<p>Congratulations to you! There are a lot of long hours ahead- writing for the MLS degree and performance requirements for the VP, but you seem to have a really good head on your shoulders and have explored the options. Try to get the chance to visit the Sibley Music Library at Eastman if at all possible- it’s pretty incredible!</p>