<p>Op has stated</p>
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<p>Trying to get instate tuition is a non-issue, because student already has it.</p>
<p>On a separate note, I did assist D with move when she went off to law school (paying first month rent, security deposit, and the cost of moving her stuff to her apt) along with some start up monies.</p>
<p>I wonder what it is about our generation that we feel the need to discuss and ask for advice about issues that can’t possibly have a one size fits all answer?</p>
<p>There is no answer that fits every family.</p>
<p>We need to look into our own hearts, finances and circumstances, and then use common sense to decide how much to help, or whether to help at all.</p>
<p>Sometimes common sense needs a little help. 
I like to see how other families have approached complex problems - someone out there may have a better idea or insight, even if their situation differs from mine.</p>
<p>I don’t believe in allowing adult children to “sink or swim” when the parents have the option to help financially. As a 61-year old, I’ve met many people my generation who believe they attained success simply on their own merits, without any help. But the story’s always more complex. Somewhere in the past someone helped them get a job, or they moved up because of a personal connection. Somewhere in the past they received a scholarship that only existed because some other individual endowed it. There is always help. I can’t imagine sitting back and allowing an adult child to sink, when a little assistance could result in a successful and happy life.</p>
<p>Our eldest daughter is in a PhD program in physics, so everything’s paid for, and she has a living stipend as well. She’s living comfortably in Cambridge, so we didn’t need to help. We would probably never have considered funding a PhD program, but had she decided to go on for a 1-year MA degree in engineering, we would have helped as much as we could.</p>
<p>Our son will be a college senior next year, and we will provide some assistance in terms of housing and transportation until he finds a job. He has said he doesn’t want to go straight to grad school, but wants to work for a number of years first. As is the case with the children of other posters here, he had a large merit scholarship in college that saved us some money, so when he decides to go on to grad school, we will consider paying a portion of the tuition.</p>
<p>There are only a few things really worth having in life. A wonderful marriage. Great relationships with all your children. These are definitely among them.</p>
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<p>I don’t think anyone is looking for “the answer”. Sometimes it is helpful to hear different points of views and different approaches to similar issues. Some you might agree with, some you might not agree with, some you might not have thought of. It helps me to be more objective and reminds me there are multiple ways to look at the same thing.</p>
<p>I believe that every family is different, and each must make the decisions that make the most sense for them. If you have the money to help, and if you feel that you want to help, then what a wonderful gift. I work at an MFA school, and a few of my students have parents who help … every one of those students has told me how fortunate they feel, how thankful they are, and how they don’t want others to know because they feel bad for those who struggle. If you raised your kid right, he will be fine regardless of what you decide to do.</p>
<p>OP here. I just opened CC and was surprised to see all of the discussion. Thank you for all of your perspectives. S thankfully finally landed a job . I hear all of your concerns about law and I am concerned about it too. S is also aware of the employment statistics. I know he is choosing law for the right reasons, hopefully things will fall into place for him. He knows how to focus, how to work and how to live on a shoestring and this is a choice I couldn’t change even if I wanted to.</p>
<p>Bruthaman, it sounds like you received wonderful advice from you dad and he did a great job helping you to see that pharmacy wasn’t right for you. But of course it is the right road for some students and just think of what a pickle we would be in if every student steered away from it and instead took . Best of luck with your new job and congratulations with your success in spite of some difficult times.</p>
<p>Eastcoastcrazy: Please note I never asked and would never ask people who know very little about us what we should do. What I did ask is what other people in a similar situation have done and I appreciate the variety of perspectives.</p>
<p>OP, very glad to hear that your son landed a job, best wishes to both of you.</p>
<p>Our D says she has been told repeatedly by her peers how lucky she is that we, her parents, supported her wish to study cinema instead of “something practical.” W now are hoping that she’ll be able to find a job, but believe she has the right combo of skills and personality to handle what comes up.</p>
<p>My parents couldn’t afford to help me much with my graduate education - not that I needed them to, as I have full funding from my PhD program. Mostly they helped with living costs as I was getting started. They lent/gave me some money towards the security deposit on my apartment, and my father served as my guarantor for the apartment. They also kept me on their health insurance until I turned 26, and would occasionally pay my copays or for more expensive procedures (glasses, crowns).</p>
<p>D is in instate public grad school and so far pays own tuition from part time job/savings. I paid for all of undergraduate. She lives with me and I don’t charge for room and board. I couldn’t pay for her tuition if I wanted to without taking out loans myself. </p>
<p>She chose the less expensive grad school over a more prestigious but much more expensive one and I think she is being really responsible about budgeting, studying hard, and being productive at her job, which could lead to full time work after graduation - so look forward to her being completely on her own maybe next year.</p>
<p>One of my kids starts a PhD program at Stanford in the fall. Full tuition is covered, with a stipend starting at $20K+ in year 1, then rising to over $40K in year 2. So we thought we were practically done with supporting this one.</p>
<p>However, COL in the Bay area is obscenely high. The 1 BR apartments he’s seen in SF are over $2K/mo. Palo Alto is even higher. Oakland is cheaper but the commute in year 1 would not work.</p>
<p>It’ll cost him several thousand to move and set up out there. Sooner or later, he may need a car. So the reality is - even with generous benefits from Stanford - this one still could use “a little help”.</p>
<p>TK21769 SF and Oakland are too far to commute to school! Bay area traffic is terrible and this would waste hours every day. He’s better off on the Peninsula. And you can save significant money by house or apartment sharing. It’s very common in the Bay Area. Check craigslist for many places under $1000 some including utilities.</p>
<p>For the majority of students going for a masters degree, I wonder how most people fund the costs. The grad stafford loans with a 7% interest rate max out at about $20k a year, after which the only federal loan option is graduate PLUS loans with a 8% interest rate. In addition, the PLUS loans now have a 4% up front free. The interest for both of these loans starts to accrue while a student is still in school. </p>
<p>(It helps that subsidized undergrad federal loans are not required to be paid back while in grad school, as at least a half-time student) </p>
<p>I realize there are some research assistantships etc. available for some programs, and that arts and sciences graduate tuition is typically lower than undergrad tuition, but it still looks difficult. </p>
<p>The issue is further complicated if a student wants to do a summer internship in an expensive city, particularly if it is unpaid. </p>
<p>(I’m just glad my son decided against law school)</p>
<p>I’m going on savings, work, and half tuition scholarship. Will take out $10k in loans for two years unless I get more funding next year.</p>
<p>Most of D’s MFA degree costs were covered by tuition remission and being a TA although not all. We gave her a no-interest parent to daughter loan -which we are not expecting to be paid back for. If she does pay us back, we will put in a long term CD for her. She just completed six months in her full-time job and also works as adjunct faculty, both in her field but as of yet does not earn enough $ for savings. We are encouraging her to take advantage of IRA at the museum where she is employed, as soon as she can even if there is no current employer match.</p>
<p>It seems that the best aid at universities is often saved for the doctoral students, not the masters students. It appears that many masters students survive financially by being a teaching assistant, but that doesn’t work for all majors.</p>
<p>S1 is doing engineering PhD work at Berkeley. He gets 35k/year from school and also his 529 plan to help him. He hasn’t asked for much help from us.</p>
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<p>Woah. I need to put Stanford on my graduate school list. This is close to what the NIH pays postdocs. What program is this?</p>