Parents a little obsessed?

<p>Hey guys, </p>

<p>This is strictly for student applying to college, and not their parents.</p>

<p>Is anyone else confused by how involved all the parents on this website are with their children's college process?</p>

<p>I feel lucky that my parents and I went to a seminar in the middle of my Junior year that basically told parents to "be interested but butt out!"</p>

<p>I have read some of the threads started by parents about things their children should do, or if their child is on track, or what else their child could do to improve their chances, and i find myself constantly asking, why isnt the child on here asking these questions for themselves???</p>

<p>I don't know, maybe I'm more independent than the next kid but i honestly find it quite ironic that parents are so involved on this website. I mean its one thing for parents to have questions likes those posted in the parents corner, but anything besides that, I feel, should be on a different website.</p>

<p>Oh, and my bias towards parents babying on here may be sparked by finding out acquaintances of mine have their parents fill out their college applications, write essays for them, and even contact colleges to ask questions for them because "they're too nervous to call for themselves."</p>

<p>Does anyone agree and feel like some parents on here are way too involved???</p>

<p>hahahah i agree. i look at forums with people's usernames like "cindysdad" and "adamsmom" and i wonder, why aren't cindy and adam on here themselves? in college, your parents won't be there to hold you hand and (for example) help you apply to grad school or med school or law school, so why are they so submerged in the undergrad application process? i think that any kid who lets their parent manage and control their college applications should not be going to college at all - it is their duty to take responsibility.</p>

<p>thank you!!! im so glad im not the only one :P</p>

<p>lol i think im going to get some angry messages from frustrated senior mom's.....</p>

<p>I like having the parents on here, they have A LOT of good information. I myself did everything for my college search alone. I spent almost a year working on my college list and my parents put nothing into it (but CC helped a crap load). I find it disappointing when I hear that parents are filling out applications for their children (my friend is one of those children) because the parent will probably put something wrong in and the app doesn't even take too long to fill out. I do agree though that these kids need to be doing some of this stuff on their own (and just because they don't have a CC account doesn't mean they aren't), but teens are rarely as independent as us.</p>

<p>Mine are not involved enough. My mom doesn't even know half the schools I'm applying to (but does know how many and costs and things like that..oh and also she helped me fill out the family info). Haha I'm kind of glad it's this way so I can have my own personality shine through and have consistency throughout. </p>

<p>I somewhat dislike the fact that parents get too involved. My friend had her parents fill out all the information on the common app and help her form her essays, etc. I think people get too paranoid about the college process not trusting their kids, or kids not trusting themselves.</p>

<p>well i know for a fact that i am this independent because my parents did butt out of my business...i keep them updated and ask them for advice and am more than willing to take their advice but do not give them complete control of my applications...</p>

<p>and dont get me wrong, the parents on here do have a ton of useful advice (and they're the ones i like)...its the parents who are babying their children that get me frustrated!</p>

<p>p.s. one of the kids i know who had his mom fill out his application, writes essays for the his classes, and has his mom write doctor's notes when he's "too tired to go to school", just made it into BC.....</p>

<p>ughh go figure.</p>

<p>I get tired of the rankings. I like having my parents semi-involved, but they aren't making me apply to their alma maters (mostly because my mom went to Texas Woman's University), and I have gotten to decide which schools I want to see and apply to for the most part.</p>

<p>lol Anna-- i filled out my common app one night while my mother was making dinner and when i needed to know when my dad graduated college or something she yelled whatever it was over her music and that was about the extent of her involvement! and i love it!!!</p>

<p>yeah my parents only know the top schools i want to go to...i applied to a ton of backups that they just don't need to know about lol</p>

<p>and btw, my parents havent read my essays at all and i wont let them read them unless i get accepted to my top choices lol</p>

<p>lol when I tried telling my parents to "butt out" they decided they weren't going to cosign any loans for me anymore :D So now I get to either go to community college or find a loanshark much? blahaha</p>

<p>I do not have a problem with parents being heavily involved in the college application process. I have asked for my parents' help and input on numerous occasions and we are getting through the process as a team. After all, they know me better than anyone else. However, ultimately everything is in my hands, and their involvement is limited.</p>

<p>What I do have a problem with is parents dictating the college process for their kids. My friend is an example - his sisters went to Harvard and UPenn, so he sees no point in managing the process himself and is happy to let his mom do it for him. I wouldn't be surprised to see him get into Penn, his first choice school. But I foresee trouble for him down the road because he missed the major opportunities for self-exploration and depiction of the admissions process. Those elements are what make it pretty fun for me.</p>

<p>I don't think the parents on here are like my friend's mom. They provide really useful information, and I don't think there is anything wrong with them gathering information for their seniors. </p>

<p>Also, a critical point, many of the parents here, correct me if I'm wrong, have already completed the process and are only here to help us! :)</p>

<p>irishthund3r...what rankings???</p>

<p>When parents are like, "my kid is applying to top 20 schools only because everyone knows they are the good ones". </p>

<p>You know, parents who take US News rankings as the Bible of college admissions.</p>

<p>lolcats--if your parents already completed the college process, ask them how involved THEIR parents were with it...</p>

<p>i can almost assure you they weren't nearly as involved as parents of today are!</p>

<p>and im not saying that parent's advice isn't critical, what i am saying is that there is a certain point when every student has to fly solo or else you'll never survive in the real world</p>

<p>irish- lol ok yeah i know....</p>

<p>ughhh college parents are becoming more and more like stage parents!!!</p>

<p>i told some woman the other day that i was accepted to oxford ED because she kept bragging about how U Penn is a BACKUP for her daughter!!!! the extent of this girl's EC's involves her playing World of Warcraft on friday nights.....</p>

<p>
[quote]
But I foresee trouble for him down the road because he missed the major opportunities for self-exploration and depiction of the admissions process.

[/quote]

That's a good point. I feel that I have mentally matured immensely since I started the college application process and I learned a lot about myself because of the type of choices that I have made.</p>

<p>I originally had a list of 5 colleges I wanted to apply to. Then my parents added 5 more to bump the list up to 10. I was just like "All right, whatever, its your money."</p>

<p>even thats not that bad, jayzen! atleast your on here and not ur parents lol</p>

<p>I genuinely value adult criticisms and advice at times. As long as it doesn't get too overbearing.</p>

<p>It's been weird because I've only seriously applied to about 3 or 4 schools. I didn't find that many I really liked. It is interesting seeing people who say you should apply to 15 or 20. But it is a tad different, because my parents made sure I visited every college I was going to apply to.</p>

<p>3 or 4 schools is fine as long as you have a safety! or will enjoy relaxing for a whole year lol :P</p>