Parents and Picking Colleges

<p>Anyone else at odds with their parents over picking schools--already? I'm a junior beginning to narrow down my list and my mom is already criticizing my choices.</p>

<p>Warning--ranting ahoy.</p>

<p>My requirements are:
-small
-liberal arts
-northeast
-strong academics-- less so for my safeties, of course, if selectivity is correlated with academics, which it generally is
-a politically liberal, diverse environment-- this is what she's picking at, mostly</p>

<p>She's hypercritical of my ways of weeding out schools that don't fit that last criteria: word of mouth via Internet on sites like Princeton Review and CC. Is she right that these are not the most reliable sources? Sure. BUT:Can I visit or apply to every school that fits the other criteria, especially during the school year? No. Not on our budget. Is this method really less of a crapshoot than any other? Even doing so my list is long.</p>

<p>Plus, she claims to never have heard of most of the schools I'm looking at (Swarthmore, Amherst, Haverford, she's only heard of Vassar because she worked in Poughkeepsie for 15 years)-- unsurprising, since she didn't go to college at all, and neither did my father. My brother applied to three schools: RPI, RIT, and WPI, liked WPI the best and got full tutition fin aid with a huge grant. He'll pay off his loans in like two years. Five-year Master's degree program, too. This is her only experience with college applications. Clearly atypical. She says a top-ranked school is not necessarily a better education--again, true. But she wants me to apply to this crappy no-name school because it has lots of merit aid. To which I say, who says this education WON'T suck because we saw this college at a college fair and the guy told me my SAT was amazing?</p>

<p>It's just so frustrating because she has no idea what she's talking about or where I'm coming from.</p>

<p>my mom's rules for my college choices:</p>

<ol>
<li>it must accept HOPE (so it has to be instate)</li>
<li><p>cant be a private college b/c she doesnt want to use any loans</p>

<pre><code> THE END
</code></pre></li>
</ol>

<p>My rents did the same thing...the mum was totally against me applying to schools like Texas and Gatech..she just wanted me to stay local at Maryland. I ended up applying anyway and told her she had to pay the fees b/c the apps are already in. What ended up happening is that MD deferred me and Texas/Gatech both accepted me. You dont have to convince the rents right away...only when finaid time comes and they have to end up paying something. Once they visited and looked around, they changed their mind about it...so still apply, get your mum to pay the app fees and convince them once you're accepted.</p>

<p>I hate my parents over this whole thing</p>

<p>At least your parents are involved. With my mom it's like "So I want to go to Maine for college", her: "Ok."</p>

<p>I wish she was more interested :( Even if she did have restrictions I would break them :P</p>

<p>I wish my parents were like that when I said "I want to go to Washington DC for college, and it'll cost 40K"</p>

<p>the only thing my parents really care about is the price of college-like i said, they don't want to use any loans- other than that, the choice is mine</p>

<p>
[quote]
the only thing my parents really care about is the price of college-like i said, they don't want to use any loans- other than that, the choice is mine

[/quote]

My parents are somewhat similiar. I'm the youngest of my siblings, so they're mostly just trying to get me out of the house :).
They're trying to make sure that I don't get my hopes set into one very-selective school, and that I know that if I do get accepted, to many places I'll need scholarships if I want to have a chance at actually matriculating, and all that jazz.</p>

<p>I think that I have the really nice middle-ground that most people want (mainly because they're just so tired from my brothers and sisters that the fact that I'm even considering some of the places that I'd like to go to is even nice). </p>

<p>OP: I hope you work out your "issues" w/ your rents. I'm sure they'll get over it (get some kickass scholarship that they can't turn down <:))</p>

<p>The kickass scholarship is the bad part, though, all my reach schools (which are the ones I really want to go to) are need-only, whereas my merit aid safeties will likely give me good money. That's why I don't even want to apply to them, because this fight will only get worse.</p>

<p>I'm going to try to get her to buy me a Fiske college guide or something. She trusts the printed word more.</p>

<p>1: My parents don't care which college, as long as it's a good college.</p>

<p>2: They're paying my tuition.</p>

<p>:)</p>

<p><em>heart</em> Parents.</p>

<p>I just need to get in, goshdarnit.</p>

<p>Well I suppose the reason she doesn't care is because she probably won't be paying for it. She can't actually, so i'll be getting financial aid. Plus she never went to college and I don't think she quite gets it.</p>

<p>my parents r auesome about it:
They want me to go to a small school
they dont care about price just if its some place i love
It doesnt have to be prestigous(like im getting in anywhere prestegous)
They could afford almost anything...maybe w/ a small loan here and there..but thats all!(which makes me happy b/c im not getting any merit scholarship ne time soon and u should see my house now-its small but its gorgeous it wasnt cheap! and my old house was huge! so yah fin aid isnt going to happen..)
Nearby...b/c of tumor reasons..gotta be nearby to go to Tumor check ups! well they say just the northeast and near a hospital</p>

<p>my parents just aren't paying that much attention to the whole thing yet.
It's getting kind of annoying. my mother is better, but my dad is convinced I don't need to start worrying about application for about a year... I just finished my junior year.</p>

<p>i wish my parents were "less" involved in this whole college thing.</p>

<p>they didnt let me chose where i wanted to apply to
they didnt let me chose where i wanted to go
they didnt let me chose whether i wanted to live on-campus or at home</p>

<p>thats my parents for you.</p>

<p>My parents are not involved in the college process at all basically. Problems with this:</p>

<p>1) I cannot visit schools during the week, even over the summer, as my parents refuse (until I get my license)
2) My parents want me to go to a state school, but that's really not what I want.</p>

<p>My parents aren't involved at all.</p>

<p>But
1. Whatever college I choose has to be top25, NYU, top LAC or a state u.
2. Whatever college I choose has to have strong academics.
3. Whatever college I choose has to be "famous."
4. Whatever college I choose has to have my major (duh)-econ or finance.
5. Whatever college I choose is preferrably a university, and not an LAC.</p>

<p>My college list isn't compliant with those requirements.</p>

<p>Well here's my criteria:
1. It MUST be out of state.</p>

<p>I don't care about much else.</p>

<p>OP: Wesleyan sounds like a good school for you.</p>

<p>Are you all applying to these "prestigious" colleges to say you applied to them? Or do you actually like the college for what it is? You should never pick a school just because all of your friends and their parents will be impressed by it. Make sure you look into these places, that might be why your parents are pressing so hard on you all to not go to where it is you "really want to go".</p>

<p>My dad is involved in the process, because he helps people get into college for a living. Even though he truly helps the people find their "fit", all the rules are thrown out when it comes to me. All my dad is worried about is his idea of prestige; he wants me to apply to atleast 20 schools, so that I can "collect" acceptances. Also, the only schools that he wants me to consider are his alma maters, HYPS, and the "public ivies". </p>

<p>I don't want to apply to 20 schools, at the most I will apply to eight schools.</p>

<p>Here's my criteria:
1. I prefer the school to be in an urban area or walking distance of a city. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>I want a school where I can possibly (big maybe) get a merit scholarship. </p></li>
<li><p>A school that does not have a core or heavy distribution requirements.</p></li>
<li><p>A school that challenges me, and yet allows me to have a life.</p></li>
<li><p>Diversity is an important factor for me.</p></li>
<li><p>Opportunities to pursue different forms of dance and acting.</p></li>
<li><p>Relatively easy to double major</p></li>
<li><p>Doesn't make me feel like a number.</p></li>
<li><p>Not so small where everyone knows your business.</p></li>
<li><p>A school that does not do a lot of hand-holding, and will allow me to be independant.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>My list is pretty much done (I only have six schools on my list); even though my dad and I have a fragile truce, I'm not backing down, because I honestly like the schools on my list, and I'm not willing to apply to a school "just for the heck of it".</p>

<p>futurenyustudent: Wesleyan is def. on my list.</p>

<p>I understand my mom's advice to not look at just the name, but is that any reason to disregard big-name schools I feel might be a good fit?</p>