<p>I am going to UCLA and live about 35 minutes away WITHOUT traffic... and we all know about that crazy LA traffic. I do not know how to drive yet and the last time i tried having a conversation about dorming it ended up with my mom crying and yelling at me and my father tearing up and also yelling about how I'm ungrateful. At a point of this discussion my mother said that she didn't want me to go to cry at her funeral (a tad melodramatic?) They say that there is no need for me to dorm and don't believe that dorming is the only way to "become independent." Both my parents are immigrants who went to Cal State LA and lived at home. My mother never had much of a family life so she tends to be over protective of my brother and I. I am the oldest child and the only daughter so of course they're going to be somewhat overprotective, but I feel like it's a tad ridiculous.
My parents have always helped me out with my schooling and have always supported me. They are going to be paying for my college. before you say "get a job, you parasite"- they do not allow me to have a job- my mother says it has to do with her income taxes- which i don't really understand...</p>
<p>How can I convince them to allow me to dorm? I feel like they're being ridiculous about the whole situation and while I might sound childish since they're paying for my education, I feel that I have a bit of a right to decide what I believe is the best for my future.</p>
<p>I know where you’re coming from. I was supposed to transfer out this year but my parents are making me move to where they are (for some reason they let me stay where I started but are making me move back next month) and go to a CC near them.<br>
If you’re going to be going to a school that close by, financially, there’s not really a reason to dorm. What are your reasons? Have you thought about asking another family member to help you argue your case with your parents?</p>
<p>I’m sorry that you don’t get your first-choice option but you are still in a pretty good position: you get to go to a first-rate four-year university for free! </p>
<p>I commuted to college in my freshman year (1.5 hours one way with public transportation, with classes starting at 8am). It really wasn’t all that bad. In fact, I found commuting much less stressful than living in the dorms now. (Home had 3 huge advantages: healthy food, privacy and quiet sleep times. Sometimes I want to kill my next-door neighbor when she’s partying until 3am and I have to be in class at 9. Two night-active roommates don’t help either.) Living at home made the academic transition to college easier and I did eventually get to move to campus and make the social transition as well. </p>
<p>If I were you, I would commute for a year and then re-evaluate my options.</p>
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They probably want to claim you as a dependent and deduct your tuition bills from their taxable income. If you were mostly self-sufficient, then they couldn’t claim you as a deduction anymore. That could easily add a couple grand to their tax bills.</p>
<p>Uhg, these scenarios always irk me for some reason. I come from a very “free” house. My mom was pretty over protective when I was little, due to losing my older sister who was born premature. But she forced herself to back up… and well, now she’s VERY lenient. I haven’t had a curfew probably since I was fourteen, if not younger. And even then, nothing was truly official. I’ve caught rides across the state with her hardly knowing where I was. I went on a trip a few years back. She didn’t know/meet one person I was with, nor did she really know where in the US I was, besides out of state. So… with all that given…</p>
<p>Here’s my thoughts, at 18, your parents have minimal legal control over you. If living in the dorms is important to you–and I can understand why it would be–then you can, but consequences are inescapable. Did you file FAFSA or any FA?</p>
<p>I have a hard time with these because I believe there comes a time when the parent just needs to let go–love their kid, help them out, still be a parent, but let go and let them have freedom. I don’t think you’re in the wrong at all, but I think you need to figure out how to talk to your parents again… present the social and whatever benefits of staying on campus that you can in the most positive and respectful light, and if that doesn’t work, then you can either settle to stay at home, or say “alright, then I’m moving out anyways and I’ll take the consequences of having to pay myself through”. However, that seems a bit extreme. </p>
<p>I’m not sure what the right answer is. But the choice is fully yours at this point.</p>