Parents behaving badly

[MWolf]

@@PopUpZone1921

I found at our high school the parents talked about it on the sidelines and at social events…I always felt it was supportive and helpful. Everyone seems invested in this class and wants to know what they plan to do after graduation. I did not feel a need to keep his choices, ins, outs, and waitlists a secret -even now when we are waiting for him to make his choice…that is what I say - he is taking his time to accept and I am so proud of the way he handled this process. Granted most of the parents that I spoke with knew him and me very well…it was not random senior parents for the most part -but I felt like the class was all in this boat together and it was just a safe subject to talk about (I was never pumped for test scores or grades etc). I don’t think the kids talk about it nearly as much as the parents. But when the last few big decisions came in they were texting each other fairly quickly with results and support. My son walked into a basketball game the night he found out he was deferred from ND in December and all the kids that knew he applied offered him nothing by support and praise - including the ones that got rejected. It was amazing to witness their genuine support for each other. While we have been surprised with some of the outcomes (5 waitlists!) I am proud to say that our Senior community has been overall positive, supportive, and invested in each other as they make these decisions.

That is how it works in our HS as well.

It’s really the difference between celebrating narcissism by proxy, and seeing your kid as a prop in your perfect life, versus seeing all these kids as individual human beings, and being part of a society that cares about and for these kids. It’s the difference between seeing the people who surround you as competitors and only caring about being better than them, and seeing the people around you as friends or members of your society, all who are trying to make life better for everybody.

It truly takes a village to raise a child, which also means that every child who succeeds is sharing the success with every one of the adults who are part of the village. It also means that competing with every other parent, and having your kid compete with every other kid, cuts your kid and you off from the rest of the village.