<p>The APRN at the nursing home prescribed an anti-inflammatory/analgesic that deals with the discomfort of the UTI until they get the culture results and know which antibiotic to put her on. She was much better today…more pleasant, not delirious, much more herself. They should have the culture results tomorrow.</p>
<p>jasmom, I’m no expert, but is it possible that your mom has wandered into schizophrenic territory? That business about your having the police under your control sounds like more than the paranoia which seems to be really common with dementia. At any rate, she sounds like an extreme case, and a danger to herself. </p>
<p>Can you talk to the geriatric manager about it? Maybe even some anti-anxiety meds would help. </p>
<p>eso, oh my goodness! Thank goodness the tenants got out, but it’s still an emotional loss for your family. It was good of you to give them the security deposit back.</p>
<p>LasMa, the paranoia sounds to me like garden-variety dementia paranoia. Delusions about having been kidnapped or held against one’s will are common in dementia, and if the police refuse to help a kidnap victim, what can one conclude except that the police are under the thumb of the kidnapper? It all makes sense in a crazy-mirror way.</p>
<p>I guess you’re right, Fang, and it wouldn’t onset this late anyway. What about anti-anxiety meds? Do you think they would help? Or some other mood-altering med?</p>
<p>It’s worthwhile asking the doctor about anti-anxiety meds.</p>
<p>But I would caution that they have side effects, some nasty. If meds are suggested, consider whether they are for the patient’s benefit or yours. Also, I’ve read that the paranoid phase of dementia doesn’t last that long, maybe a year. So if meds are introduced, be alert about discontinuing them when that phase has ended and the meds are no longer necessary.</p>
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<p>I think you are very wise to be wary of this.</p>
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<p>It seems to me that these are very important considerations if the individual is a patient in a professionally-run facility. If the person is living with a relative who is the caregiver, is it so terrible to consider meds that would make the person easier to live with? And if they lessen her paranoia, doesn’t that by definition benefit her? I presume we are not talking about drugging her into insensibility…</p>
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<p>It’s not terrible at all, as long as you acknowledge that’s what you’re doing. But if side effects come into play, it’s worthwhile considering whether it’s right to make someone else suffer side effects for your benefit.</p>
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<p>I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Her paranoia isn’t hurting her. Her anxiety is hurting her, because anxiety is painful, but holding untrue beliefs in itself is not necessarily a problem.</p>
<p>Let me be clear. I’m not anti-med. Meds have their place in the treatment of the demented. But as with all choices about whether to medicate, we ought to consider the risks and the benefits in a clear-eyed manner.</p>
<p>Thanks for those wise words, Fang. I may talk with Mom’s doctor about anti-anxiety meds, but will factor in the side effects when making a decision. As well as my own motives. :)</p>
<p>in March my mother was much more paranoid than we realized- it wasn’t until she was put on meds for it that we realized how much of the agitation (extreme at times) was part of the paranoia. I have to say it has made a world of difference in being able to get along with people and she looks much more comfortable. It feeds on it self if she is easier to get along with and be in the same room with, then people are more likely to be around her, invite her to things, etc, which has happened. At first one might have tried antianxiety meds which really would not have gotten to the core of the paranoia. Professionally, I have never heard or seen this phase go away in a short time period except when they are totally in last stages of dementia. I know if my mother takes her afternoon dose late it is very obvious she needs it.</p>
<p>Rmh, what kind is she taking, at what levels?</p>
<p>risperidone 0.25 mg</p>
<p>My father just spend the whole night up packing “gifts” for the family. One of his old shoes for my son( my father is a size 9 and my son is 12), a wallet for me (from a gift that he found the the living room and unpacked-the gift was originally for my daughter’s friend), a phone ( that he found in my son’s backpack together with a lot of other things that he removed and kept for himself), a piece of chocolate for his caregiver (that was actually a good one because it was wrapped. I had given it to him the day before). He insisted that my son needed to try the shoes and that he bought them from the store. He said that he has being buying those gifts for over a month. It is the first time that he goes so off reality like that. He has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and take Namenda 10mg 2X and other medications to control anxiety and depression. My kids are very nice to him, and they have a lot more patience than I do.</p>
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That is truly sweet. You must have raised them well! </p>
<p>WIth your vivid description of your Dad’s evening packing up impossible gifts, that’s so difficult because, of course, you see the emotion behind it (wanting to give gifts) but the surface behavior is so non-sensical and it’s your Dad, whom you knew so differently before. </p>
<p>Once, my H’s Dad came down in the early hours to rearrange every paper and file on H’s home office desk, “to make them neater.” To me, it seemed a bit over-the-top how upset my H was, and it was easier for me to be sweet. After all, it wasn’t my entire day that had to be devoted to refiling. Then I realized H’s underlying feeling (beneath the surface behavior of being frustrated at his Dad) was the loss of the Dad he knew as such a sensible man. </p>
<p>Everything I read about Alzheimers stresses to look for the deeper human feelings that fuel the surface behavior. I am thinking (with my Mom in advanced stages) that advice also applies to the caregivers. If you feel badly because your Dad is so altered, give yourself a break. No matter what you said in the moment, you are also sweet as your kids. That’s evident by how you write with such care here.</p>
<p>Heaven preserve me from checking out mentally before my body does!</p>
<p>And may science find a cure for this crazy disease soon. Amen.</p>
<p>Amen
completely.</p>
<p>Paying3tuitions thank you very much for your wise and kind words. After reading them I realize that you are right. My father was always the one that made me feel like any problem had a solution and now that man is gone and it makes me sad. I am an only child ( child taken in context here because I am 46) ,my mother passed away 16 years ago and I do not have any uncles, cousins or close relatives ( from my side of the family) living in the US. My husband is a great guy , however I feel so tired emotionally. My mother ( I was her primary care taker) was sick for so many years ( heart and cancer), then my kids were born and when I was finally able to have a little time for myself my father required full time care. I am glad to find people going through similar situations so I can share ideas and experiences.</p>
<p>mommusic.
From your mouth to God’s ear.</p>
<p>So happy! We had just about despaired about mom and cell phones when dad lost his. Of course, he immediately got a new iphone5s to replace his lost 4s. Last night he found the lost phone and today we switched his old phone to become her new one. </p>
<p>We spent pretty much the whole day teaching them how to make calls, text, and use Siri. Best of all, mom really seems to like this newer phone and is able to hear it and make calls and text messages. We are delighted as we were all despairing. </p>
<p>It is such a relief that mom has taken to the new phone and she has two cases to carry it – an old one and we bought her a new one as well.</p>
<p>Update on the picture - if you remember there was a picture of my dad - who died 5 years ago that I found in the attic that had been there for 20 something years. Mom wouldn’t let me have it, then said she’d make copies and I could have it at Thanksgiving. That came and went with no picture. I told my mom and sis I was disappointed they didn’t give it to me as promised. My d was going up for a visit so I told them she was instructed to take it for me, so my mom went and got copies made and gave me one. </p>
<p>I notice my mom is way more emotional now about everything. Everything gets her a little weepy now. </p>
<p>I do try and talk about dad with her. I told her how my d was horrified by hubby at dinner out the other night over something really minor and funny. I told d the story of my own dad when I was in jr high and told my mom the story. I know she enjoys hearing and talking about it, but at the same time is very emotional for her.</p>
<p>Eyenamom sometimes is very hard for some people to look back at pictures. When I lost my mom it took me years to feel comfortable looking at an old album again. Pictures sometimes are more powerful than words because they bring you back to that moment. Parents also become more vulnerable went one of them passes away, no matter the age. The great thing is that she did send you the picture in the end and I am she also felt good about it.</p>