<p>dietz, I’m so sorry. May your memories bring you comfort.</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss Dietz. The song is beautiful and speaks to me. </p>
<p>Hugs Dietz. May your memories bring a smile to your heart.</p>
<p>Sending sympathy your way, Dietz. You were a blessing to your father and I hope memories are of comfort. Take care of yourself. </p>
<p>So sorry for your loss, dietz. Take care of yourself.</p>
<p>What a poignant song, Dietz, as your dad makes his final transition. Peace to you in this challenging time. </p>
<p>Dietz, I am so sorry. My thoughts are with your family.</p>
<p>Beautifully expressed dietz- peace to you …</p>
<p>Aaaahhh, Dietz, hugs to you. As I read your story today (catching up a few days’ worth), I can tell you that youre story was mine 15 months ago. My father went through the same fast decline after fending off Alzheimers for years. It was a blessing that he did not linger, but he was also ready to go.</p>
<p>Dietz, deepest sympathies. I know it hurts, mixed feelings, loss. You did well for your father in making this transition. My condolences. </p>
<p>I have a new problem, or I guess, newly discovered, which I suspect others have dealt with and need advice. In review of my parent’s situation, they both have early Alzheimer’s and I moved them about 8 months ago from Florida to NC to be close to me. They are in an independent living retirement community. </p>
<p>I’m working on my taxes and trying to figure out how to convince my dad, who has always done his own taxes using turbo tax, to “help” with his taxes. In preparation, I looked at a copy of their 2012 forms that I copied several months ago. Unfortunately, the taxes are wrong. Gains on a large investment account were not reported and another was reported twice. Distributions my mom receives from a trust was not reported. </p>
<p>I will spend some time over there looking at previous tax returns that are in a file (not an easy task with dad hovering), but I suspect I will need a tax expert to help clear up past incorrect filing. Do I consult an accountant? tax attorney? or both? I am confident I have the knowledge to file the taxes correctly this year, if my dad will let me. I do have POA that I can exercise if needed, but that can get ugly. </p>
<p>GT, start with a CPA. They’ll be able to tell you if you should talk to a tax attorney as well, but I doubt it. I think that usually, if it was an honest mistake, and if you come forward rather than being caught, and if you take care of it right away, there aren’t going to be any legal ramifications.</p>
<p>We ran into this several years ago, and the way I persuaded Dad to turn it over to an accountant was by snob appeal. As in, “You are well-off, and well-off people don’t do their own taxes. They hire people for that.” Another day I said, “Let’s just go have a consult with the accountant. That’s not a commitment. Just see what you think, and then you can decide afterward if you want to engage him.” (As with most things, it took several conversations.) Dad liked the guy, so we engaged him. At tax time, I took in not only the current stuff, but also the last few years’ filings, so that he could look them over as well.</p>
<p>Agree on CPA. Agree it’s doubtful you’ll need a tax atty. You’ll want to talk your way into no penalties or late charges on monies owed- shouldn’t be too hard to have something reduced, based on their ages. </p>
<p>Dietz, your posts are so touching. My feelings go out to all who have losses.</p>
<p>My mother, btw, has decided not to move south to be near a cousin. </p>
<p>Thanks LasMas and lookingforward. I should have expected this would be the case and looked at these documents sooner as to not to overwork the busy CPAs this time of year. </p>
<p>So glad to hear your mom is not moving. </p>
<p>My Dad had no senior cognitive aging issues and he still failed to tell the accountant they sold their home, it was a creative sale to get them out and I guess it did not register that it was ‘really’ sold! I had to go back and amend that year!</p>
<p>So I talked to my dad about taxes. He took it well where I pointed out there were omissions. But, perhaps more concerning is that he seemed unfazed by the fact they didn’t report their biggest investment accounts. When I suggested be go to an accountant to fix the last couple of years, he vehemently refused. I’ll talk to an accountant and get advice. </p>
<p>GT, since your dad has a bit of Alzheimer’s, maybe just don’t bring up the past filings again. Then whenever you take everything over to the CPA for the actual work, just slip those in there as well. IMO this comes under the heading of “what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”</p>
<p>GTAlum, the POA will not work for the IRS or Social security. You have to get their own forms. I tried three times to get the IRS to take my guardianship/conservatorship and POA and failed every time. Finally just had her sign a temp POA of the IRS, along with the tax lady…is only good for two years. If she isn’t able to sign in a few years, then I dont know what I will do. But asking and getting her to sign crud she doesn’t understand is why I have the guardianship, so she WON,T have to. IRS burocracy blech</p>
<p>My dad would be very against using a CPA even this year to work on taxes. But, I think he will let me do them and give to him for “review.” We both have always done our own taxes and he has always had a mistrust of others managing his finances in any way but he does trust me enough. I’m confident I can do them accurately. I looked at their tax folder yesterday, and dad had collected much of the tax information I need, and I nosed around and collected more. Fortunately dad’s baseline is to be very organized and his is quite proud of his folder. </p>
<p>In some ways, not having POA with the IRS makes me feel I am off the hook for past misdeeds. </p>
<p>Hi all, I need some advice!</p>
<p>My father is currently at an assisted living facility but he’s become increasingly paranoid and has dementia. The latest is that he’s refusing to get out of his chair, shower, or change his depends. He is very agitated and told me to leave today when I tried to get him to listen to the caregivers. The staff says that if they can’t get him to cooperate, he’ll need to be moved to skilled nursing. </p>
<p>He’s full pay right now, and my parents budget is stretched to the limit. I called a lower end skilled nursing facility and was quoted about $10,000 per month! </p>
<p>I don’t think he’s eligible for medicaid because about 8 months ago my parents gifted a home to my sister that they bought 12 years prior but stupidly never turned over to her. To compound the situation, my mother is a compulsive shopper and has blown through huge chunks of their money on QVC, as well as money she got when she refinanced both houses without my dad’s knowledge. I’ve recently refinanced her house, paid off more than $50K in credit card bills, cut off all but one credit card and try to keep an eye on her spending. Unfortunately I only have power of attorney for my dad. She refuses to give me POA.</p>
<p>Moving my dad home is not an option because my mother was cited for elder abuse (she’s horrifically verbally abusive). She’s not allowed contact with him. Plus, he’s fairly certain she was trying to kill him by heavily salting his food and he has been on a salt free diet for years. My sister and I are not so sure he’s wrong :(</p>
<p>Anyone have ideas?</p>