<p><a href=“Newbie questions about 24/7 caregivers: legal questions, etc. - Parent Cafe - College Confidential Forums”>Newbie questions about 24/7 caregivers: legal questions, etc. - Parent Cafe - College Confidential Forums;
<p>Greetings friends and fellow-care caregivers. Above is the thread about my 87 year old mother’s recent decline and dramas and my questions. I mistakenly posted it in the wrong place (not here). So I have pasted it above. </p>
<p>My mother is in her second nursing home stay and her “caregivers meeting” is scheduled for a wk from today, so obviously I have a week to rest. As I describe in my posts, she will ,through a licensed NYC agency, have two Eastern European women ttake turns living with her 24/7 because she is now so weakened, needs someone to “hover” while she walks,needs someone to cook…needs 24/7.</p>
<p>We hired two exceptional women (described in the post) but unfortunately one immediately got a 7day a wk job and forfeited ours. The agency gentleman assures me he can easily find another woman. The woman who is doing 4 days will do 7 until we find a second woman, but it does seem that the agency man performs miracles in finding qualified, experienced women fast.</p>
<p>First, the 4 day woman is an American citizen (she is divorced, has a MA in Poland but says at her age and with good but limited English can’t find another type of work BTW, she had the MA in a folder with scores of other qualififation documents including a licensed caregiver certificate). I typed out lists of rules, duties, regulations,requirements, and she was pleasant about everything. I insist that the women pay taxes and she says she has for 20 years and takes care of it all herself. Should I follow this in any way, require to be shown tax returns, on what periodic basis, or what? With the agency, we agreed on $170 a day…$150 “net” $20 “taxes and other deductions.” Thank God, she has health insurance and is an American citizen .She showed me her health cards. She pays social security. Do I need to monitor/oversee her social security payments? She has a car and will relieve me of constant shopping/ MD appts etc. As mentioned in my post above, my mother is Polish-American and will profit by this gregarious woman’s company and “chat in Polish” which my mother loves… Her references (about 5) looked truly authentic and several noted her excellent cooking, which would greatly delight my mother. My mother and the caregiver talked about music, books, art, and much more, and the caregiver’s charity (held hands, eye contact, etc) seemed totally authentic and genuine. </p>
<p>Do I need to involve a lawyer and what am I missing? I will considerately and thoughtfully take any advice on this, so please don’t hesitate to contribute - I will pay attention. I know very little outside my “liberal arts” field and respect the savants on CC. </p>
<p>And (probably due to my anxiety over this) I’ve skirted around my main question: my mother has 60K in savings and a house worth about $250,000- $300,000 - needs a bank/realtor assessment). There is no question she can live with me, and she is incredibly sharp and intelligent and certainly cannot live in a nursing home, which wouldn’t be cheaper, anyway. BTW, my MIL spent down her savings at at age 94 in in a nearby NH with dementia.On Medicaid. So, obviously money is the immense and,in the real world, the main issue. Question: Should I leave the 60K alone and immediately get started on a reverse mortgage arrangement? What is the best way to pay? I know the sad drawbacks of reverse mortgages, but what is the alternative? Should i start spending the 60K which I may have to do during the weeks it takes for a reverse mortgage to be approved? How best to pick a bank and what questions to ask? As with seemingly all agencies( I contacted 7 )the agency takes 2 wks of salary for its involvement, then steps out of the picture…unless needed for emergencies, whatever that means… Essentially, the relationship quickly becomes solely between the caregiver and the client.(The man did say that if the “fit” was not good after 3 wks, he would provide a replacement for no charge.) I told the women there would be no cash, only checks, and checks made out to their name, not “Cash.” Finally, despite her fraility (her ailments are rapid heartbeat under RX management, high bloodpressure under RX management, occasionally diarrhea under control when she eats only what is on her list of approved foods, severe and, sadly, painful arthritis, scoliosis which has her totally bent over and makes walking difficult–cane and baby steps and walker and helper necessary, ocular degeneration I think it’s called (losing eyesight), deafness because she hates wearing her hearing aids), a lifetime of manic-depression under RX management (fun times!) ,her main organs are all excellent and she is likely to live a long time. So what I am leading up to asking, what happens when the money runs out.?..when and how and how do I assess the timing of putting the house on the market while it is under reverse mortgage? I know these questions could wait for later and may turn out to be unnecessary, but it would ease my mind to have a “long term picture/plan.” (I am the sole caregiver; my sister in Reno is, sadly, in chronic bad health, unable to travel, practically unable to work…)</p>
<p>Thank you, kind readers, and interested friends!</p>