<p>My dad had a UTI near the end. In the ER, he perked up when asked if he could give a sample. Very happy to provide a specimen! Of course, no privacy, because he was in and out of combativeness. Then refused the oral meds and spit them out. I asked about an injection. Oh, yes, he would agree to the injection! Provided some humor in the midst of the chaos.</p>
<p>Throughout all the tough times with my dad for the last 1/2 of 2012, they thought my mom had recurring UTI’s. Every time one would clear up, the test would come back positive again. Sometimes varying organisms. Since we were also concerned about her memory and the possible onset of dementia, we were pretty intent on finding the cause for these infections. She was always so mad every time I told her she had another one. She would accuse the AB’s of a variety of symptoms (that she actually had had prior). Finally, primary referred her to urologist. Had several tests there and he finally determined that it was the “catch method” that was causing false positives. Mom was thrilled, but she doesn’t seem to realize that it probably would’ve been better if her dementia HAD been caused by UTI’s… now it’s just regular dementia, which hasn’t really responded to Aricept. But in a circular fashion, the dementia keeps her from fully understanding the extent of her dementia!</p>
<p>GA12 - those are some nice poems! There are a lot of caring people on this thread. It’s nice to come here for a few minutes and share about that “other” part of my life that doesn’t involve grades, standardized tests, applications, scholarships, and my tendency to want to compare my kids with everyone else’s! :)</p>
<p>Chuckle – I hope she recovers completely and quickly. Hang in there, and don’t forget to take care of yourself. </p>
<p>Re your mom’s delirious ice cream talk, it made me think of my dad. He’s a retired nuclear physicist, and when he’s delirious, that’s where he goes. Last year I spent a night with him at ER, and it was the most fascinating thing. He “saw” and tried to show me abstract objects that he saw floating around ER. He talked to me as if I were one of his colleagues from the test site where he worked in the 60s, the happiest time in his career. He had a fine old time that night as the ER staff was running tests and arranging his admission. It was a special night for me, in a way. It gave me a glimpse of my father’s brilliant mind which I’d never directly seen before. And as I told my mother, it’s good to know that at such times, he goes to a happy place. It sounds like maybe your mom does too.</p>
<p>LasMa, it sounds like it was a fascinating evening. I hope you will keep that special time in your mind to sustain you in tough times. I do believe most folks go to some “happy place” when they no longer are with us, sometimes seeing long gone loved ones, some times as you described so well, a time when their life was exciting and they played a vital role.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing that. More food for thought, as we all are or will be experiencing these times.</p>
<p>Before my dad died (late stage Parkinson’s with dementia) he had episodes where he would see a cat. He had always loved cats, but my parents had not had one for about 15 years. Made me happy that he had a feline friend in his mind. He also had a great, intelligent, dry humor. Sometimes the staff at his VA would not know if he was making a non-sensical comment or telling a joke. He told me once, in a lucid moment, that the caregivers had no sense of humor! Tomorrow should have been his birthday. I still miss him, but I take comfort knowing his struggles (and my mom’s exhausting/stressful caretaking days) are over. Hugs to all facing difficult times with their parents.</p>
<p><strong>sigh</strong> My mother has another UTI, another UTI that is not sensitive to any oral antibiotics, another UTI less than 6 weeks after having one that also required IV antibiotics. Luckily, we have one home health agency in town that will give IV medications at her assisted living facility. BUT, they won’t give the first dose (something to do with a potential allergic reaction, I am sure). They will give the remaining once-a-day six doses there. So I headed over to the care center, pushed her across the street to the hospital in her wheelchair, and they gave the first dose. Looking at the bright side - SO lucky to be in a smaller town where we had the first dose in her less than 4 hours after the culture and sensitivity came back, lucky that her care home is so close to my home, and so lucky the hospital is across the street from the assisted living facility! Trying real hard to have a cup half full outlook here!</p>
<p>MidwestParent - admiring your attitude in finding something to be grateful for! Best wishes.</p>
<p>How do you handle distance appointments?
Mom is in a retirement home (waiting for assisted living where I think they will handle the appointments). She is VERY forgetful, so there is no point in her going to any doctor by herself. She is also VERY obsessive, so once she decides to do something, something is going to be done!<br>
I run around on the phone behind her trying to stop gap stuff. She has a care giver to give her her pills, but the lady knows nothing and wants to know nothing about Dr. stuff.
Now Mom needs dental work. She should get her last 4 teeth pulled. But my H is getting tired of once a month trips to deal with her (doesn’t seem excessive to me, but I think he is protesting ahead of time so that it doesn’t get worse or more often). </p>
<p>Any suggestions? anything work for someone else? </p>
<p>by the way, I didn’t find the Caring for the Elderly for Dummies much help. But I really liked “forget Memory” by Anne Basting. It had some modicum of hope. Grandma had Alzheimers and so I feel like I kind of know what to expect. However, Mom went to live with Grandma (divorcing Dad in the process… or vise versa) and I don’t want a divorce.</p>
<p>GAMom: hugs & prayers for you.</p>
<p>Chuckle & MidwestParent: hope your parents are on the mend quickly.</p>
<p>I had no idea about UTI’s. Thankfully mom hasn’t had one in decades, but it’s good to keep in the back of my head.</p>
<p>esobay: I’ve been dealing with a nonstop dentist merry go round with my mom since September of 2010. 6 teeth pulled, 2 sets of bone grafts, 2 implants & now almost a full year of trying to get dentures that fit. I am beside myself. Long story short, they keep adjusting them, even made her a 2nd set, she walks out saying they’re fine then doesn’t wear them for weeks, during which time she works herself up to “they didn’t make them right.” Now she wants to sue the dentist. Can you hire a senior aide to accompany your mom to visits & report back to you?</p>
<p>I am so tired & we’re not even in crisis mode. Yesterday she had to go for an iron transfusion (usually gets one every 2-3 months) but this is the 3rd cycle that they haven’t been able to get an IV in. Last month I had to take her back 3 times. I work full time, have a very understanding boss and am approved for FMLA, but it’s getting ridiculous. Got the call today that the Dr. wants to consult about her options, which are going to be a) have a port put in (which I doubt she’ll agree to as she hated her PICC line & she’s sick of them “doing stuff to her”) or high doses of oral iron (which she’s done in the past & it’s wrecked her stomach, plus she never takes her meds the way she’s supposed to.) She has a bleeding condition so the lack of iron will be an issue quickly. </p>
<p>Today she had an eye doctor appt. As we were driving in, she was telling me that she thought the lens they’d implanted had shifted. No nothing hurt, she could see fine. But when she puts her face up to the mirror it looks different. Eye doctor gave her a clean bill of health, nothing wrong with the lens.</p>
<p>You know that thread in the parent forum, where everyone lists where the live and what universities are near by? In loco parentis.</p>
<p>Perhaps we need to do that for our seniors and trade off covering each other’s parents!</p>
<p>^^^Oh my gosh! Best CC idea ever 
'Cause my mom is a great acquaintance, world class story teller, lovely lunch companion. </p>
<p>She called me tonight to tell me she’d talked to the hematologist office manager. She apparently told him in no uncertain terms that there will be no port installed. Which I absolutely respect.</p>
<p>RobD, hugs. frustrating for sure. In town, she would completely consume my life I know. Miles away it has its own set of problems, but I get (guilty) relief anyway. Mom had iron problems, too , but that was before they took her off the warfarin. Now are worried about clots, but she is so active I don’t think that will be a problem. Anyway, she has a filter to catch the leg ones. </p>
<p>I’d trade my Mom, she is a LOT nicer to strangers than she is with family. We are some days … NOT to be trusted! gak.</p>
<p>esobay, when you say “distance appointments,” what kind of distance are we talking about?</p>
<p>My dad passed away Monday morning with my mom and one of my brothers by his side. While I grieve his passing, I have comfort knowing he is at peace and he is no longer suffering.Thank you all for the poems and prayers, they gave me great comfort.</p>
<p>GA2012MOM, oh, I’m so sorry. Hugs to you.</p>
<p>GA2012MOM - I am so sorry for your loss. May your memories bring you comfort.</p>
<p>GA2012Mom: I’m so sorry. Condolences to you and your entire family.</p>
<p>GA2012 - hugs to you; may your memories give you comfort.</p>
<p>GA2012mom, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.</p>
<p>GA2012mom, so sorry for your loss.</p>