<p>ops, welcome to the thread. I don’t know about anyone else, but it’s part of what keeps me sane. mnmomof2 gives good advice. You MUST set boundaries, or the elderly parents will eat you alive. They don’t mean to, but they will. Decide how much you can do, draw that line, and stick to it. It’s simply essential.</p>
<p>ChuckleDoodle, it wasn’t petty. One of my brothers would just as soon not know how crazy my life is, because then he might have to step up and help a little bit. But I make sure he knows anyway. Siblings need to have a clear picture of what we’re dealing with, and they don’t always ask.</p>
<p>I am hoping the collective wisdom and experience of the good people on this thread can help me out. I am very concerned about my father. He’s 83 and has advanced Parkinsons with some mild dementia. He’s been getting weaker and weaker and really can’t stand up for too long. I saw him over the weekend (I’m 2 hours away). Besides the weakness, I noticed he seemed to not always be aware of what was going on. In addition, he had a terrible cough. On Monday, his regular caretaker returned and noticed these changes as well. She was concerned he’d had a stroke and I was concerned he might have pneumonia. We took him to the ER. The CT scan was negative, as was the chest x ray. They kept him there for 2 nights for observation. During the time he was there, he seemed more fuzzy, but we just figured it was because he was in an unfamiliar place. </p>
<p>He came home yesterday and he’s really gone downhill. His speech is very garbled and I’m not sure he understand what is being said to him. He can’t remember how to hold a cup and doesn’t know how to use a straw.(He could do these things before he went to the hospital.) According to my mother, he goes into “trances” where he’s just staring and oblivious to the world. During these “trances” his breathing seems to be erratic. I haven’t seen him since Tuesday night, but the rest of the family say the decline is rapid. </p>
<p>We don’t want to take him back to the ER because its extremely difficult to move him. I’m beginning to wonder if he did have a stroke and the CT scan didn’t pick it up. If so, do the symptoms get worse as time goes on or do they appear all at once? He just went to his neurologist 10 days ago for his regular Parkinsons visit and everything was fine (relatively speaking). I’m not sure who to call or how to proceed.</p>
<p>Mansfield - I don’t want to scare you but my mother died from Parkinsons. She had a very rapid decline and one morning my father could not wake her and by the time the paramedics got there she was gone.</p>
<p>But she had terrible halucinations. When he is staring into space he may be seeing things. With Parkinsons I have read the hallucinations are not scary and they are almost always people. My mother asked my brother who the nice gentleman was who was sitting next to him. She told my father she saw children on their bicycles across the street. When she was in ER she said the roses on the wallpaper were floating and later when she was at home she said roses were flying through the air. That could explain why he’s staring into space.</p>
<p>Mansfield, if it were me, I’d call 911. Either something new is going on, or they didn’t pick up on something when he was there before. If that seems too drastic, perhaps an urgent call to his doctor. But I wouldn’t waste too much time; IMO he needs immediate attention.</p>
<p>If it hasn’t been said, you need to be vigilant about checking for UTIs. Not just a urinalysis, but a full culture. Especially in women, this can mimic bouts of dementia.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you responses. Photo Op, he is having some sort of hallucinations. He’s been talking/garbling to people that are supposedly on the other bed. He also is talking about real people and real situations, but they are events that are not connected. This morning he tried to chew the straw; then he blew through it. His caretaker fed him some baby food off a spoon. He ate it. He also thought he was holding the spoon because he’d lift up his hand and turn his head towards his imaginary spoon. My sister was there today. He recognized her face, but thought he was a coworker from a long time ago. </p>
<p>The neuro saw him in the hospital and thought everything was fine, so my mother doesn’t want to “bother” the neuro. She doesn’t like dad’s primary physician because the office is very busy and she doesn’t want to “bother” them either. She also thinks he might have “come down with Alzheimers”. This is the mentality I’m dealing with. </p>
<p>I came across his living will earlier this week. He does not want to die in a hospital and he doesn’t want any extraordinary measures. My brother is there now. He can be pretty persuasive.</p>
<p>Thank you for all your concern. Your answers are just what I am looking for.I just hope he’s at peace.</p>
<p>Mansfield–not Alzheimer’s but possibly Lewy Body Dementia, which can be related to Parkinson’s and is sometimes brought on (or made worse) by meds, even (sadly) meds used to treat Parkinson’s. </p>
<p>Interesting about Lewy Body Dementia. My daughter’s boyfriend’s father has that. At this point, he’s got more of the dementia than the Parkinsons. Can the symptoms come on that quickly? I’ll see what Dr. Google has to say.</p>
<p>Mansfield - My mother had stroke-like symptoms (slurred speech) and went to the ER where all the tests were normal. Two days later, she had a stroke that now showed on CT scan. Apparently, the first time, she’d had a TIA which didn’t show on the tests and her symptoms actually were resolving by the time they saw her.</p>
<p>In addition to the stroke possibility, consider UTI or dehydration.</p>
<p>Mansfield, I am so sorry. My father passed away February 4th, had parkinson’s and dementia. Your description of your father was my dad… No advice for you other than to spend time with him and tell him what you want to during one of his more lucid times. In my fathers case, his body just gave out. Mom had a DNR in place for the hospice, hopefully he wasn’t in too much pain. Unfortunately it happens rather rappidly. Although we saw the symptoms, we always thought some fluids in the hospital and some pt would help. I hurt so bad knowing dad was taken away by the paramedics, him probably thinking just another trip to the hospital, yet to never come home again. Sorry again.</p>
<p>Parkinsons is a form of dementia. His symptoms sound just like my mother’s. She thought my sister who lived with her was my sister who does not live with her. And all the other imaginary people she saw. At first she was aware they were hallucinations but as things progressed I’m not so sure she could tell reality from hallucination. It’s not a kind disease at all. But I guess none of this is.</p>
<p>The hospital was suggesting he go to a rehab place for some PT. We knew all the PT in the world wouldn’t make him stronger. That’s why we brought him home. However, we thought he’d rally once he got back home. He is a tremendous fighter and very competitive. He didn’t retire until he was 80. Yet, last weekend, I sensed something was different about him,almost like he was losing his will to live. </p>
<p>I have read so much on late stage Parkinsons. I didn’t think the end would come until he had the choking/swallowing problems. He’s suffered so much and none of us want him to have to fight this through the bitter end. </p>
<p>I have gained so much from all of your postings. I really appreciate knowing that the end could be near. From those of you who had parents with these same symptoms, just how quickly did the end come? </p>
<p>Its funny how life works sometimes. Why did he pick this week to go downhill? Could it be because both my sister and I are in education and we both have spring break this week (and have the time to be there). Could it be because 2 other siblings were away with their families last week on their spring break (and now they’re home to help). Could it be because the sister who lives in Georgia just happened to come back to the area to see some friends for Easter? Could it be because my nephew who is finishing up a grad program in California just decided to fly back to the east coast to surprise my sister for her birthday?</p>
<p>I think some people who are terminal have some choice in the exact date they let themselves die. I have had three in-laws time their death to be after they had seen their loved ones and were confident life was going ok for all of them. Yes, I do believe sometimes they hang on, even when in a coma to be sure all their loved ones are OK before they allow themselves to die. </p>
<p>Wishing you peace and comfort at this tough time. It’s always hard to say goodbye. Also very difficult to watch loved ones deteriorate.</p>
<p>Update: mom 90 was in assisted living- went home with home care. So my brother drove the 9 hour trip and picked her up and took her to her home Monday. I did all the arrangements for home care. She has meal on wheels 5 days a week (at 100 lbs 2 meals a day there will be leftovers). She has a daily caregiver that comes the same time each day for one hour and checks on her and talks to her- ‘i don’t need her’ is not an option. i remind her that going back to the assisted living is an option. That may sound blunt but I think she gets it that I will not negotiate with her on this . Currently mother is liking the food with some mild complaints. An RN is to come once a week to fill the med box (new med for agitation also). The suggestion for calling the local hospital for a ‘good list’ for home care was very fruitful. They faxed me a list! All this cost $850 a month ($2800 was the assisted living which did not quite match what she needed). So I am feeling good about this so far. I have no idea how long this will last but the agency can step up the care if needed. My friend who is a social worker said jokingly ‘I’m so proud of you being a social worker’.</p>
<p>Earlier someone asked how you get a sibling to ‘get it’. I also had this problem. Until they actually are in the thick of it- they will not get it. My brother kept saying- well she is old you have to have patience, etc. He still is a little more emotional than I am, but 30 years of my medical field experience does give good triage training (when to panic) and realistic perspective. Well first hand he ‘got it’ and seems on board now with a new perspective. We have been able to work together on this well.</p>
<p>Well colonoscopy seemed to have turned up colon cancer for dad although he didnt sound too worried and said the doctor was “90% sure” it was a benign type and quite harmless. </p>
<p>I dont know too much about this, is it in fact harmless if it is benign? I mean, it’s still there regardless, does that just mean some medication will keep it under control or destroy it?</p>
<p>Cortana, did they remove the growth? Usually you get lab confirmation in a week or so. Benign usually.means little is required but it depends on the actual type of growth.</p>