@compmom thanks for sharing. That is reassuring. I will tell BIL about the watch!
May her memory be a blessing @Cardinal Fang. When my dad died it took awhile to find somewhere to donate the durable medical goods we had accumulated, including a hospital bed and power wheelchair. Google was our friend and we eventually found an organization to pick it all up. I wish I could remember which one it was, but it’s been almost 5 years now and I don’t. It was harder to find somewhere to donate the remaining medical supplies (not meds).
@“Cardinal Fang” - my sympathies. I see so often that families are buying new medical devices for their elderly parents and then have to find a home for them once their loved one dies. It seems like such an inefficient system. Every time my mom is discharged from a hospital stay, the hospital PT prescribes a walker and it is done and billed before I even realize it. I have quite a collection.
@compmom there are several types of hearing aids. My dad has ones that are inserted into the ear and can’t really fall out. They are more visible though. My moms are nearly invisible but are less stable. HOWEVER, if she needs memory care then you really need to have the staff on board. Both my parents (in MC) will routinely take out their hearing aids and “hide” them for safekeeping, for no apparent reason. I am working with staff to make sure the night staffer removes the aids and if they are not in the ears to really search for them before more time goes by. Their room is not that big and there really aren’t many places they can go, but it’s important to look for them sooner rather than later. I will say that they have always turned up, sometimes after a week or so!
@“Cardinal Fang” I am sorry for your loss. I hope the mass was healing and all the siblings felt loved and supported.
no ideas on the bed, but wasting medical equipment is infuriating.
Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. Mom’s mass was indeed healing. In fact, it was amazing, and this comes from an atheist, so…
Lion’s Club in our area collects durable medical equipment and loans it out for free, they have rooms full of walkers and commodes and wheelchairs and all that stuff. It’s a great service.
Sorry to hear about your mom, but I love imagining the brass quartet.
Sorry for your loss @Cardinalfang
@compmom I don’t hav A Fib, but I have episodes of Supraventricular tachycardia (also known as SVT or PSVT). Where the heart can beat as fast as 250 bpm. It is not life-threatening but scary and uncomfortable and sometimes, depending on the situation, embarrassing. I have had them since I was a kid, and was having them up to 2 or 3 times a month. I thought I couldn’t take medication because I have low blood pressure, but the doctor tried a low dose (120 mg) of Cardizem CD (a calcium channel blocker) and they went away. My blood pressure is still low, but not any lower than it was before.
@tx5athome that is great info on the Cardizem which I carry around all the time and have never taken. They do a drip on me in the ER and when my bp went under 90 I called from the bed “Hey guys, I think it’s working too well!”
@“Cardinal Fang” the brass quartet sounds so lovely, and I am so glad the service was moving for you.
The nearby community college or U may also appreciate donations of medical equipment and supplies and use them for instructing their health profession students.
So sorry for your loss @“Cardinal Fang” I’m so glad you and your siblings had this time to gether. I have not had a service for my mom yet. I still thinking about when, where, how.
A hospital bed is so expensive and someone could really use it. Two organizations I know who will pick something like that up are the vets, and a local charity which is a residential rehab program. Most communities have a eldercare organization. I would give them a call.
I gave notice at my mother’s AL on 5/31 and my brother and I paid a deposit on a room at a memory-care only facility. Scared now. And sad. Since the colostomy we have been more involved with aides and nurses and feel like a team. But the AL is hands off in terms of help with shower or engaging in activities, and the aides walk away when they hear “no.” I also notice social exclusion of my mother starting to happen, along with a few nice people telling me they are “helping her.” It’s time, but change will be hard for her- until she forgets her AL entirely after 3 or 4 days.
Coming up with a story for the lunch and assessment Thursday, and another story for when we drive there for her to take up her room on the 15th. Might be kinda large fiblets this time.
I hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible @compmom. Sounds like it is definitely time
@“Cardinal Fang” - condolences on the loss of your mother. Try her local Council on Aging or equivalent for recommendations for donating the hospital bed. (Sometimes there are concerns about mattresses for donations.)
@compmom- you are a trooper. From your descriptions, the move is timely. Know that doesn’t make it easy. May the transition go smoothly and provide both the care she needs and more peace of mind for you.
@compmom If it helps, when I moved my mom, with similar feelings as yours, once it was done, it was so obviously the right solution I was mad I hadn’t done it sooner. Just like I felt for moving her to AL in the first place. It will be OK and you need to care for you, too.
Ugh, it’s so obvious my mom needs more assistance than she can get living at home. She has very long hair for religious reasons. She asked me to brush it out tonight. Oh, my gosh, it was a matted mess. I literally couldn’t do it. It makes me so sad - she always took such good care of herself and her hair. She was a classy looking woman. I’ve got to talk to Dad. They need to move to the retirement facility sooner rather than later. Mom is getting so fragile that I’m afraid she’s going to fall - their house is two stories plus a daylight basement/garage. She can’t keep navigating two flights of stairs every day.
At least Dad is getting stronger every day. He will probably be released from rehab early next week.
I’m taking Mom to a B&B in the Texas Hill Country tomorrow. She wanted to go badly, but my sister really didn’t want me leaving town while she’s away. I talked to my dad’s patient advocate, and she agreed that it should be fine since Dad is still in rehab. I really feel like Mom NEEDS a break. She had to say goodbye to my 21-year-old niece today, who is traveling to South America tomorrow and may not be coming home for a year or longer. Really tough on Mom, because they’re close to each other.
@MaineLonghorn you are correct that sooner rather than later is best. Most continuing care retirement communities require an assessment as to physical and mental capabilities. You’ll need to wait for your dad’s strength to return (yay!) but not too long so your mom no longer qualifies. It sounds like they have one picked out?
@GTalum, yes, they’ve been on a waiting list for a few years but there will be slots for them later this year. Dad being the overachiever he is, he’s been on their Board of Directors for awhile (because of his accomplishments, not because he’ll be a resident). He’s slated to be Chair soon, if his health allows. He and Mom drive over to the facility a few times a week to eat and exercise. It’s a beautiful place. 
Thank you to everyone who made suggestions on how to donate that hospital bed to someone who needs it. I tried everything I could think of: Red Cross, United Way, city of Social Services, her church, her hospital, Little Sisters of the Poor, Goodwill, some other groups I can’t now remember. Nobody wants it.
Freecycle would work probably, but I can’t do it from across the country and my local sibs have already done so much. Her continuing care facility will take away all her furniture for a fee, and that’s what we’ll end up doing. If anyone here is in northern NJ and wants a motorized hospital bed in excellent condition, shoot me a PM and it’s yours.
Try asking Us and CColleges nearby. It would be excellent for their health sciences/med school students to use for teaching & learning. There are several in our CCollege.
Is this any help? New Jersey.