@chb088 - I am sorry for your loss.
@MaineLonghorn: Definitely have them get at least 2-3 estimates by realtors. Some will purposefully estimate low because it will of course then sell faster – better for the realtor, but not necessarily for the seller if you have some time. Or maybe they’re hoping for a bidding war if your area supports that approach? That does not usually start at 60% of market value though.
I’ve also heard of some realtors highly praising a home, suggesting it is perfect as-is. Makes you feel good, but when it doesn’t sell, they come up with a list of necessary improvements. Others come in and tell you to make all types of unnecessary improvements. Again, it sometimes sells faster (good for them, and sometimes you), but you don’t always get back what you put in. You really need an honest, experienced realtor, which may take several interviews . Definitely ask for references, and call them with questions.
@kjofkw thanks for your comments - I will pass them along to my sister, who lives locally.
@MaineLonghorn, could you give me a general area your parents’ house is in? I have lived here for many years and know fairly well which areas are appreciating faster and which ones aren’t. My step-son is a realtor, and if I asked him I am sure he would help your sister some. We used to have PM ability here, but I am clueless as to whether we still do or not. ETA: I just discovered that I can read my old PM’s so I guess we do still have it.
@mykidsgranny, thanks! I will send you a message. Post here if you don’t get it.
Hugs to all of you going through this very difficult, emotional and generally sucky time with our parents.
I apologize for being more of a lurker than a poster, but like some of you, I am not the main caregiver for my Mom. My Mom lives with my sister, who right now is overwhelmed with our mothers increased dementia, lost hearing aid along with the other hearing aid needing major fixing and the death of her lift chair. It’s the last item that I’m popping on today, hoping for recommendations. My Mom is tiny, 89 years old, and has limited mobility. She spends most of the day in her chair. Her current one was never really liked (hard and too big for her) but it was so darn heavy that it was literally impossible for my sister to return. The lift part stopped working and the only company that would service it gave her an estimate of $500 (!) to fix it. That seems crazy when I see others on line for $500 new. If anyone has a small person with a lift chair that they like I would love some details. I belong to Costco and saw one there that appealed to me with the only downside being it’s beige. My Mom really likes pastels - light blues and greens. Maybe we could just throw a sheet over it.
Oh, this is probably more of a rant than a question! I’m a newcomer to this thread. My 81yo mother fell on Friday and fractured her femur near the hip. Had surgery on Saturday morning and handled it well. She’s very sharp mentally and always very busy–drives the “old ladies” to bridge games–but has resisted acknowledging her hearing loss. She only recently started saying she “might” need a hearing aid.
But, oh boy, is it ever apparent in the hospital! I had to point out in the ER that she’d hear their questions better if they turned off the TV (with the speaker right beside her head!). Nurses and aides in the room start speaking as they come in the door, even if she’s asleep. Then they woosh past her bed to the sink–behind a curtain–and wash their hands, all the while speaking and asking questions! And they seem a bit annoyed at having to say everything two or three times.
I said, very nicely, “I find that if I make sure Mom’s looking at me first, she hears me better.” That didn’t seem to stick in anyone’s memory.
One nurse told me they mostly have older folks with broken hips on the floor. So why aren’t they used to dealing with patients with poor hearing??
@walkinghome, mom used a small lift recliner by Golden Technology
@FrancescaBennett, my mother is also nearly deaf without hearing aids. When she was in the hospital last year, the nurses put up a large handwritten sign above her bed that said “HARD OF HEARING”.
Worth a try, anyway!
@patsmom That would never work for my mother as she denies having a hearing problem! When I go to her apartment, I can hear her tv down the hall before I even arrive to her unit. The first think I do when I walk in is turn it way down so she can hear me speak. She is stubborn, so I don’t think I will every be able to convince her to try a hearing aid. I just make sure I am in front of her when speaking in the hopes that she pays attention.
Apparently Mom has occasionally been taking DAD’s meds at night. Sigh. We’ll have to hide his meds now, I guess.
When I was hospitalized three years ago for pancreatitis after an endoscopy, there was a sign on the door that my roommate, hospitalized for COPD, was hard of hearing. The sign was very effective, and every time any staff member came into the room to talk to her, they spoke loudly and slowly, looking her in the face. We were both 68 years old.
(The funny part is that she wasn’t hard-of-hearing and she got very combative as all these people yelled at her all day and night.)
Thanks, everyone! Today the nurse actually said, “Oh, I’m on your bad side; I’ve noticed your left ear is better.” And she moved to the other side of the bed to ask her questions. Yay! I may be back with more questions for y’all–Mom’s moving to a rehab center tomorrow.
My mother died early yesterday morning. She had become non responsive about 5 days before. I went back and looked at the camera shots, there was nothing in the days leading up to this change that was significantly different than the other previous days, no hints or things I missed, just one day, she stopped responding. We had five days of care, her with her mouth agape and breathing oddly. It really was a relief when she went. But it’s also weird, you know this is coming and yet it’s hard to shake the habits of years. The good thing about the 5 days is having the chance to really be prepared, to spend time talking to her, processing etc. She’s lived with us for nearly a decade so this is going to be a big change. She was 93, the last 1-3 years had been rough with what was finally diagnosed as Lewy Body Dementia. It was long past time for her soul to be freed, and we are all okay with it, no one is traumatized.
But, still, it’s an adjustment and will be for a few weeks.
Thanks, everyone, for the company for the journey.
One thing I learned, if you go onto hospice and you are sure you will not get kicked off, you can cancel the medigap supplement, but if you cancel it and get removed from hospice you cannot get the coverage back. But you also cannot back date the cancellation to the date of hospice starting, which seems wrong to me. That date is verified in the Medicare system and entered by a third party and no claims were made, seems like one should be allowed to back date the cancellation.
@somemom I am very sorry for your loss. I know those 5 days you speak of, my Mom was only 3 but they were long and hard. Just like the prior years, too. I am sure you are OK but there will be lots of stings, so be very gentle with yourself, especially as you took care of your Mom in your home. It is NOT wrong to feel … relief, sad, happy, anything at all, nothing much… it is all a process.
Many hugs.
My condolences on your loss, @somemom. Please take good care of yourself as you adjust to the changes in your household. Caring for a parent for years in our homes affects so much of who we are and what we do. Lots of hugs, too.
@somemom - my sympathy on the loss of your mother. Your description of those last days is apt; helps us know it is indeed time. You were remarkable in your care of her. I wish you peace and remember that funny feeling of not being able to do another thing for or with my mother; a void in the aftermath of caregiving.
So sorry for your loss, @somemom. I’m sure you’ll be going through an adjustment period, especially with your mother having lived with you. Give yourself the time and space to deal with your feelings.
Condolences @somemom you’re going through so much. Take it easy on yourself through the surreal times ahead.
@somemom, my sympathies on your loss. You are such a good daughter. I echo the sentiments of the others who say to be gentle with yourself.