@HouseChatte do you have Power of Attorney or proxy, or are you on her bank account? I assume you will pay bills so wondering if you can sign her checks.
Glad she didn’t have general…
The hardest part is keeping an eagle eye on everything the hospital does or omits, and transfer to rehab will mean making sure there are no med errors But you know that I’m sure.
Is there any cleaning that can be done while she’s gone? I had my mother’s big rug cleaned when she was in the hospital.
It sounds like you have pretty much thought of everything.
Sorry about this. But elderly do well with this procedure BTW. My 89 year old neighbor (we look after him like we are his family) just had this done 3 months ago. He is walking around just fine. Short stint in rehab then home.
At both hospital and rehab be there. Be there to make sure meds are given. My mom just got out of hospital rehab for a hip replacement at 90 and her third fall this year after a pelvic fracture. She knows her meds very well. The one thing that really surprised me was how bad the doctors /nurses are speaking to the elderly. My mom is 90 but is all there mentally. Everyone comments on how great her memory is. But they still talk down to her till I tell them not to. She wants to know why they changed her meds from x to y instead of just changing it. She refuses to take it till a doctor explains why. I usually have to call the head nurse (I live out of state) or doctor and tell them to explain everything and don’t talk down to her.
In rehab. If your around she gets better care, if your not she won’t get the same attention. Been through this with multiple family members. Sometimes you have to speak up. It’s OK to do so. If everything seems good then that’s great. Just make sure it stays that way. Like if she’s on a turning protocol. Make sure they are actually doing it. That kind of thing. Air mattresses might be better for her if she’s older. You might need to request it.
Good luck. My mom just got home Wed and wants to stay there… Lol…
POA, medication lists, taking notes, check. Cleaning at her place a great idea! Nothing that needs to be done by an outsider, but we’ll make sure to dust, vacuum, hit kitchen and bath.
Am used to being a positive squeaky wheel. I go visit once or twice a day and call once or twice. We are extremely lucky with the respectful climate at our hospital. Staff make sure my mother understands explanations or recommendations, make sure she has time to ask questions or comment. Must be institutional protocol, I hear similar wording repeated along the lines of “Is there anything else I can answer for you, anything you’d like to tell me?”
Rehab concerns raised above are valid. One in our town has an excellent rep, and she’d happily been there after a major illness a few years ago. If there are no beds, she’ll have to go to another that’s been criticized for long response times to residents, etc. In any case, I plan to be there as often and as long as necessary, cheerfully until I need to do otherwise. Am comfortable intervening as much as necessary and following up with gov’t agencies, Joint Commission, etc., if needed afterward.
And may I say the PureWick Catheter is a miracle invention!!! I feel like having a bonfire of Foleys to celebrate.
^^^ Thanks. I confess I’m really nervous about which rehab she gets. That sets such a climate for recovery. Trying not to let on so mother’s vibe stays optimistic.
Interestingly, we had two completely different experiences at the same rehab, which looks spiffy but is very busy so the staff is overburdened. It made BIG difference to have my mother as close to the nurses’ station as possible.
The second time, we were lucky to get a room at all (your situation?) and we took what we could be she had a room off in a far corner, and response time was terrible.
Partly due to the busy-ness I suppose, as well.
I encouraged them to leave my mother in a wheelchair near the nurses a lot of the time. Not sure if that is relevant for your mom.
Checking back in, my mother was moved to a very highly regarded rehab center on the hospital campus. Really tight, well-organized check-in routine. She’s very pleased.
They say their usual stay for her kind of situation tends to be two to three weeks. She’ll know more tomorrow after OT-PT assessment and team meeting, but wow. Remember when a broken hip meant having to stay bedridden and good luck with the pneumonia?
I remember my great aunt having a hip break repair and everyone being stunned she made it and made it back on her feet. This was in the late 80’s. She was a formidable woman all around though, so if she was going to do it, it got done. She died at 102 mostly still all there, but very withered.
Great about the rehab place @HouseChatte
Mother started her regimen today. Their welcome paperwork states three hours a day, five days a week of various combinations of OT and PT. Today’s schedule:
8:30 - 9:30 AM
10:30 - 11:30 AM
1:30 - 2:00 AM
2:30 - 3:00 AM
She just called. She got a shower and is so happy. Says there is already less pain with motion and weight. The OT she saw this morning led with a thorough conversation of my mother’s living situation, including how she handles finances. Nice solid start to things.
More rehab notes: The program continues, and my mother tells me the therapists say she’s making progress. She’s been in pain, and I think the six weeks pain they told her to expect will be understandably demoralizing, so it might be hard for her to realize how much better she’s doing. At any rate, they’re talking about sending her home end of this week, a mere two weeks after her break!
A nurse (? care coordinator?) called me to set up a meeting this week to go over everything. It’ll include my mother, me, and various staff who have been working with her. She did mention being aware that my mother doesn’t seem confident that she’ll be in shape to leave, so they’re sensitive to that being a factor in readiness.
My impression at this point is wow, whirlwind program, but responsive to the patient.
@compmom you’re moving soon, aren’t you? Hope things are settling a little on all fronts for you.
@HouseChatte, I’ve read/heard that you can challenge having the patient being sent home before you (the caregiver) and the patient believe she’s ready. It sounds like she’s making progress but they’re trying to rush her out before she’s finished getting as strong as she needs to be to function more independently. Be sure to be prepared to argue against her transferring out of their program so soon. I’ve heard programs hate appeals and will try to work with the patient/family to avoid having an appeal.
@HouseChatte That really does sound like a whirlwind. I have to admit, when my mother broke her pelvis a few months ago, I was actually glad to get her out of rehab because she had therapies in the morning (5 days a week not 7) for two hours and was otherwise in bed, so she actually got weaker. Back at assisted living, she had a visting nurse, PT and OT and wheelchair at first, but overall her movements were more natural and spread out more through the day. In other words, she wasn’t in bed. The PTat home was fantastic.
So although this discharge sounds too quick, certain circumstances can make it better to be at home- and I don’t know if your mom has them.
Another point made by the MD at rehab was that viruses were circulating, including the flu, and being out of rehab asap is healthier.
So who knows what the answer is. House Chatte I imagine you have a good idea of the best thing to do and the meeting will help.
I move tomorrow. Wow good memory!
I am immersed in a legal case for my daughter, then got a call that my mother cut herself (looked like CSI), showered and dressed her, changed the colostomy wafer, did the wound care (assisted living doesn’t do that either) and came back to pack.
I often think I am getting old and tired but actually we are ALL doing a lot more than we might think!
The last two nights have been beautiful, and my touristy town on the ocean is deserted. It was so nice to walk down the breakwater at sunset with noone else around!
I found this thread so helpful in dealing with elderly parents especially with my 90 yr old mom with her latest health issues
It all started with a fall trying to take out the trash (she was told not to and that one of her grandkids would take care of it). She fell and broke 3 ribs and was in the house for several hours before my sister found her. My mom has in hospital for 3 days before being sent to inpatient rehab. Went back to hospital for low sodium level and then back to rehab after level was increased. She does get physical therapy but for the most part is in her room. Before her fall, she walked without a any kind of aid but now uses a walker. Got a call from social worker that they’re releasing her next week. Now we (myself and 3 other siblings) have to find the best option for my mom.
My mom’s preference is to be back home. We found an aide that we like but don’t know what kind of questions to ask. She is someone that other friends have used and recommend her. One sister is pushing for assisted living but I find that the aids may not be as attentive and I feel my mom may go downhill just sitting in her room. She’s not one to do bingo and cards.
Any inputs about hiring a private caregiver that we need to be aware of? Any other opinions about staying at home vs assisted living?
I’m sure you’ll get lots of good suggestions. My main thought is to ask the caregiver to keep a detailed log of all your mom’s activities, problems, etc. And be very specific as to when you want phone calls. We had to make that clear to my Dad’s aides. There were times they should have called when they didn’t.
Caregiver at home v Assisted living, I would say neither one is easier than the other, the problems are just different. So, it’s a matter of which issues fit into your lives with the least disruption.
My in laws were in IL/AL/SNF/B&C. Personally, I preferred the B&C with a ratio of 6:2 over the more institutional SNF (Also B&C was half the price.) In either case FIL was bedbound and in both situations he had lots of visitors.
I felt like our opinions were more able to be honored in the small setting.
The AL will have policies by which you must abide. The in home care will sometimes have snafus, people will be sick or snowed out, etc.
We had aides for my mom for a few years before we had to move her to a memory care facility. We’ve had some wonderful aides and some not so good ones. Seems like trial and error unfortunately. For my mom, memory care was better because there was more activity and stimulation.
We had aides in the house 24/7 for my dad before he passed away. We had a rotation of 3-4 women, some for daytime, some for nighttime, then different on weekends. For the most part we were very happy with the women we found, but it could be a scheduling nightmare for my mom from time to time. Plus people leave, people don’t work out, there are snowstorms when people can’t make it in, it was very fraught and stressful. But, it was also a lifesaver in that it allowed my dad to stay at home. We wouldn’t have it any other way, nor would my mom, but that doesn’t take away from how difficult a process it was to manage all the same.