@MaineLonghorn - How popular is this facility? Is there a waiting list? What would be plan B if you let this unit go? Can your mom afford to pay rent for an empty apartment? I agree with talking to the administrator to see what your options are in these unique times.
If you can afford to, keep it. Things are changing so rapidly, let it be like an insurance policy.
Thanks for the thoughts. My sister feels like we should just not rock the boat at this point and keep paying. I guess we can re-evaluate whether to call them in a week or two. I really don’t see the harm in asking if we can get a reduced rate.
If meals are included in the monthly fee, maybe they would at least refund that portion?
My Dads place stepped it up another notch. The senior living and Assisted living are not to leave their rooms. Residents temperature will be taken twice a day. Essential visitors will have their temperature taken when they enter the building.
There are very few times that I am relieved that my mother passed away two years ago. One of those times was early last year when I had surgery for colon cancer, then after an anaphylactic reaction to chemo, back in the hospital for a week with an unexplained pneumonia. Her caregiver could have moved in with her, but I was far too weak to help when I got home. The other time is now; after she broke her arm and went into memory care, her mind crumbled. Her only stable moments were when one of us was there with her, and we made sure somebody went every day. She lived in the moment and would probably have survived, but I am not sure I would have; she was so tiny and so confused.
I have all of you in my prayers, and close to my heart.
Kids going, cat staying, eating alone -
My mom’s CCRC is making changes for the Independent Living section -
- no more meals in the dining room, all meals delivered to the rooms
- no family visitors, only paid staff and contracted aides
So I was going to take her cat this weekend and re-home it with my sister. But if her daughters can’t visit, and she can’t even share meals with her friends, I’m not taking the cat. Her paid aides can still come and help her with pet care. This is hard.
Good news is she learned to use Facetime this weekend, so she can see one of us at least every day.
I can’t imagine how confused and abandoned the elders are feeling when visits stop, especially when they have dementia and can’t remember why. Heck, they can barely remember where they are and mom has started asking where my dad is, though he died nearly a month ago. I’m just relieved we can help temper her sadness through this confusing time.
Agree, Himon. I think isolating the most dependant elders is cruel. If a death occurs, could it be attributed to sub optimal care?
Does the general public’s need for social distancing really apply to those who are/were pretty isolated, to begin with? They’re already in a form of lockdown, being in a facility.
I am not questioning the public’s need for spacing limits or staying home. Or the concern outsiders could bring germs. But these elderly need interactions, family support, and the stability in routines.
If they’re worried Mrs Jones’s family might expose Mrs Smith to CV, then separate them based on the level of self-support they’re capable of. The most dependant on their side of the dining room, eg. Or MC activities vs AL or IL
Well, for our mom, we are grateful we are able to care for mom away from her independent apartment and just removed her. The data does show that a very High rate of infections in SR living places are in the independent living area.
My mother called me 5 times while I was in the shower. She thought I was in the hospital dying. The news is not helpful with this situation.
I am going to meet her in the AL driveway if I can. We have shelter in place so not sure.
The private nurse is working out well for the colostomy and she called me first today so I could tell my mother to shower before she came.
This is so weird.
I took a long walk and went out on the long breakwater here early in the morning. Deserted, quiet, me and the birds. I actually want to keep some of the new habits this disaster is forming.
I’m starting to get worried about what would happen if I were to get sick. My H can’t take care of my mom. No other family can. Not sure nursing homes will take in new people with what’s going on. Our state is in shelter at home for several weeks (at least). H is the only one leaving the house every 4-5 days, so at least our exposure to the outside world is minimal. (He has to take food to his mom an hour away who is 87.) No wonder I’m having trouble sleeping.
I just hired a nurse from an agency that our local hospital home health folks recommended. Would that be possible? They have aides and nurses, both LPN"s and RN’s.
That’s a good question. Would someone be willing to come in our homes if one of us is sick?
We are all well, so I am doing my usual worrying ahead. Hopefully the precautions we are taking are enough.
@psychmomma - these are uniquely challenging times. I think a few calls to see how local caregiver agencies are operating now might be worthwhile for peace of mind. I was the primary (and only local) family member overseeing my parents care for a total of 14 years after they moved to an excellent continuing care facility to be nearby. Even with a flexible schedule, I eventually realized I needed a list of people who could get them to medical appointments or provide extra care if I wasn’t available.
Sometimes it is a crisis that makes us aware of vulnerabilities; my father was struck with severe, acute abdominal pain while DH and I were taking a long weekend 3 hours away. He took an ambulance to the hospital and I met him there. He required a major cancer surgery at 83 though he had no previous CA diagnosis. It was a wake up call and I got a list of private aides and caregivers from his AL so I’d have a starting point if I were sick or unavailable.
Perhaps better to have a plan in place minus an acute issue and hope you never need it. It is hard to think of even more contingency plans as we all navigate Covid 19, yet is likely worthwhile in any case. I never used my list, but it was there if I needed it.
All the best. You do so much for your mother and it tends to get more involved over time.
^ Thank you. Good ideas.
Not sure if this is helpful. If hiring someone will they becoming just to your residence? Some nurses come in shifts of like 4 hours then go to someone else’s house. That is a problem now. Of course if you need the help then you need the help. Just make sure they take all the precautions needed now.
We offered my mom the chance to skip out of the CCRC for the duration and go stay with my sister. One of the risks we talked about was if DS or BIL gets the virus, then we’re in a mess. This is all very hard. My mom stayed in place, we’re hoping that we can see her in person again some day, but for now she’s locked down.
Our hospice rules changed today. Dad was getting a visit from a nurse twice a week and a bath aide twice a week. That has been changed to phone calls only from the nurse and no bath aides. She will come in in case of an emergency, like a fall, wound, etc.
My parents memory care is now totally locked down for the last few days. They are not allowed to leave their room. I don’t see this going well as the room is only big enough for two twin beds and dressers. Like a dorm room.
A patient at the rehab facility upstairs tested positive for Covid, hence the lock down.
So far my parents live in the moment so they only think it’s “today” that they are confined. Silver lining.