Best of luck to all.
My sister thinks we should talk to the facility Mom is supposed to move to. It looks like this crisis is going to last awhile. We don’t want to pay $5,000+/month. They gave us a credit for May. I think I will ask if we can just suspend payments for now. It’s not as if someone else is going to want her unit at this point.
Thanks everyone. Right now it’s a theoretical wonder. At his small care home, they are not yet required to be tested. But, I’m glad there are now easier tests.
I called my parents to emphasize the important of their staying home from church. I think they get it.
But then Dad mentioned that his old college friend visited. He said they sat far apart. This guy lives in a retirement facility in Houston. Why did they let him leave? I am not happy that my dad let him visit. Geez, I wouldn’t have even let the guy visit ME!
@MaineLonghorn, If your parents signed a contract with the new place, you may need to look over the contract carefully or consult an attorney to see what they agreed to or what the options are for them if they choose not to move in . Definitely bad timing with the virus entering into things . Good luck!
@sevmom, good point. So far, the facility has been wonderful to work with so I hope they continue to be accommodating.
I got a call at midnight from my Dads facility that he had an unwittnessed fall and a bump on his head so they called 911 and the paramedics took him to the hospital. This used to happen a lot but luckily hadn’t happened in a while. I signed a POlST that was supposed to keep this from happening. I called the ER and they said they would do a CT scan and ambulance him back to Memory Care. I guess he was screaming and yelling etc… I explained to the nurse that he has Advanced Alzheimer’s and what they were seeing was his baseline. At 2AM they called and he was on his way back. Poor guy! The ER is so confusing for him.
@tx5athome sorry to hear that. I hope he’s better soon.
@tx5athome that is so sad and so tough when the AL/MC cannot seem to abide by the “please don’t send my elder to the ED every time they fall” requests, even in writing, even the POLST. I’ve seen it posted so many times, it’s just CYA and it puts the oldsters through a hellacious time. No one wants to be in a hospital anyway, it’s glaring and noisy and you don’t get enough info, lots of hurry up and wait, a generally lousy way to spend a few hours, then add to that the confusion of dementia. The experience can really take a person back down further on the scale any independence, ability to communicate, ability to find whatever small enjoyment there is in life.
My mother lived with us until the end, but still there were decisions like this, she fell once and cut her head open, lucky for her and for me, I had supplies and a visiting surgeon neighbor who stitched her head. I watched her for signs of concussion. She fell again, with a bleeding head slash, when she was on hospice. I was so relieved, the hospice nurse can come and stitch her. I mean, she is on hospice, she is terminal, we are not doing brain surgery even if there is a brain bleed. Nope, hospice came, said they don’t stitch and offered to call an ambulance. Yah, Friday night is just when a non-emergent (so low priority) senior with dementia should spend 8 hours in the ED, not. Luckily, I was able to bind it tight and not look for a couple of hours and it stopped itself. It was not that big, just that headwounds are messy.
Those two occurences legit needed medical intervention, but other than CYA did not require an ED, if UCs didn’t also play the CYA game, I could have taken her there, but they would want her in the ED. Me knowing her as well as I did, I knew the exhaustion of hours in the ED would have meant she would be physically and emotionally weakened for the next week or two. I was glad to override them. I guess the MC has to deal with the results of that ED visit on your Dad, if he is way worse to deal with because of it, they will suffer that time. But I am sad for him.
Evidently my Dad feels fine today. But since he went to the ER he will have to spend the next several days confined in his room. He likes to wander around so this will be difficult. The director said they had no choice but to send him to the ER since he indicated he was in pain and had a bump. I just emphasized that I felt so sorry for him because the ER must have been so scary. Luckily, maybe because he was being so difficult, he was in and out in a couple hours.
I would have been upset about the ER visit. I also have such directives for my dad. Having a CT, in which I would not act on any results, is such a waste of resources and potential exposure puts everyone at additional risk.
My dad had another un-witnessed fall on Friday. This time his elbow was bleeding. A previous lesion was reopened. The facility called the paramedics, and since there was blood they sent him off again to the Emergency Room. He was fine and back within 2 hours. But, now the quarantine clock starts again. I thought the quarantine was for 3 days, but it is supposed to be for 2 weeks, but since he was only gone 2 hours they decided to just confine him to his room for 1 week (total will be 2 weeks including both visits to ER). I would say he is losing his mind, but that actually happened years ago, but he is extremely, extremely agitated. The poor guy just doesn’t understand why he can’t leave his room. So the facility director thinks it would be a good idea for him to have a private aid. The Memory Care staff feel like that would agitate him even more. They are going to have another discussion today. I pray that we can just try to get through the next 3 days without having to have a private aid. The facility is very proud that they tested all the staff and residents and all are Covid negative. I have repeatedly told them NOT to take him to the ER, and signed a POLST, but they say they have to. Ugh. If there is a next time their compromise is to call me when the paramedics come and let me talk to the paramedics. I am frustrated and sad.
What is their reasoning for “have to” send him to the ED?
I was able to put in writing “no ER visits” for my mom. The procedure was that the staff would call me first. I nixed a number of ER trips, even after the squad was called. If you are the DPA for health care, you can refuse care/transport.
@somemom their reasoning is “facility policy”.
@tx5athome , my mother’s facility recently called me about sending her to the ER with nosebleeds (she is on blood thinners) and has also called with wounds. Her MOLST says no transport to hospital. I have an invoked proxy (MD signed, she cannot make decisions due to dementia) so I believe they have to get consent from me.
I almost always say no. Even in normal times. I have provided a product called Blood Stop, a mesh with clotting factor in it, and a small blue gel pack in the freezer/fridge. These both help with bleeding a great deal.
With COVID my no is even stronger.
I don’t know if there is a difference between AL and MC on this.
I emailed the director the last time this happened and she confirmed that she prefers that staff not send to ER in order to keep COVID out.
Do you have an invoked proxy?
For basic sores /cuts my mother uses this and it really works https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/woundseal-powder-to-stop-bleeding/ID=prod6099456-product
Thanks @Knowsstuff . Unfortunately it seems in short supply. If there are any pharmacists and/or vets on this thread, is this product much different than the one offered for pets?
And back when razors were wicked, I would grab my father’s styptic pencil
https://www.amazon.com/Clubman-Pinaud-Styptic-Pencil-Travel/dp/B00E5QJC04?th=1
to staunch the bleeding. Do they work for the minor bleeds we all will get with age?
@tx5athome very frustrating. My father falls, gets cuts or lacerations, and they just let me know. But my dad is also spry, and can get up with none or minimal assistance. They usually just let me know. Back when I could visit, I would check on the damage. Is there something that can be done in which the paramedics aren’t called? Perhaps they call the “on call” care provider instead? It seems to me, once the paramedics are there, it is too easy to transport to the hospital.
Amazon sells Blood Stop and similar products. It comes in a box that looks like a Bandaid box. It is a mesh material infused with clotting factor. There is a product for nosebleeds and a product for wounds. Even with Coumadin on board, these have worked. This is what hospitals use. There is no point in going to the ER so that they can use a product available to us commercially.
Paramedics are advanced life support. EMT’s generally do calls like this and have less training. Their main job is transport and maintaining during the ride. EMT’s often do lift calls for someone who fell and cannot get up. Those calls do not have to include transport if the person is okay.