So my Mom just had her kidney stent replaced after having I think its renal hypertension. She starts rehab in the hospital tomorrow. This I don’t get since when she had her hip implant surgery we had to fight to get her to the hospital rehab floor. But she has been stronger and stronger every time she goes. The outpatient rehab is a joke compared to the hospital one.
But this means they will want like a 2 week visits by the home care nurse team…her we go again…LOL…He leg wounds are all healed but they will send to check her blood pressure even though she has a machine to check it a few times a day(it fluctuates).
It’s lonely since no one could be with her even though its a basic procedure it like major surgery to her. I don’t blame her. I am thinking about going in again. It’s a holiday for us. I could bring my son some home baked food (we are sending him some baked cakes that my wife just made) and then go see her. We have a few people coming over (social distance holiday in the back yard)…will have to see.
@surfcity that is a lot of turnover. Wow. I would have a hard time with that. Hope the new crew is great.
During these months when I cannot get near my mother (in assisted living), and see her 1-2 times outdoors with masks and at a distance, some medical things have happened that concern me.
A wound on her leg got infected because the bandage wasn’t changed for several days. The AL staff didn’t tell me for a week so I was late getting a visiting wound nurse. She had to go on antibiotics. Better now.
The private nurse forgot to remove the backing of the colostomy wafer, so stool leaked and sat on her skin for a day or two. The skin got raw.
And now, there is a very much enlarged squamous cell cancer on her leg.
I happened to see it because during an outdoor visit, a bandage was coming off. I violated rules and got close enough to fix the bandage- and saw the lesion.
With a visiting wound nurse, a privately hired colostomy nurse, AND AL nurses- why didn’t anyone notice and tell me about this growth? (I have contacted skin doc now, sent photos.)
I think it becomes apparent over time how much families contribute to health and well-being and COVID has removed that extra layer of care. Many of my friends are finding the same.
The AL is pretty overburdened. I think I am most upset with the visiting wound care nurse, who was taking care of both legs and should have seen it.
Yes with any long term stay the sad truth is the best care goes to patients that have family etc looking after them and can assist. Can’t imagine the patients that have issues but no one looking after them.
Yes I definitely miss being able to just pop in and take a look at things. Not necessarily for big things like @compmom mentions (and yes, I would think those things ought to be caught by even a regular aide, but definitely a nurse). Little things like, Is their paper being read? Are they opening cards that come in the mail? Are their clothes stained?
Their facility seems to call me anytime something happens, particularly a fall. Both of my parents are getting unsteady and I get a call at least once a week that one of them has fallen. They always tell me they are fine, their vitals are fine but they needed to tell me. It must be in their rules or maybe county rules?
I get calls about falls. Belated calls on wounds apparently. The AL doesn’t do anything diagnostic which may leave a large crack for things to fall through. I have higher expectations of a visiting nurse.
@surf city yes the little things too: pushing hearing aid all the way in, throwing out that yucky sponge, picking things up off the floor, charging the phone, throwing out 3 week old food in the refrigerator!
I’m just so infuriated that my parents are attending church and a POTLUCK LUNCH afterwards each Sunday. I’m also mad at their congregation for not saying, “Hey, we love you, but you two really shouldn’t be attending…” This is a fundamentalist congregation that has no problem telling people what to do with their lives in other cases.
I posted on Facebook that I’m taking a break from the site because I’m so disappointed in some people in Austin (I don’t want to see their stupid posts anymore, although I didn’t write that, of course). Then my dad emailed me, “Just curious. Are these people you know or strangers? That is disappointing.” Ha! I am not going to respond for a couple of days, until I cool off a little.
@Knowsstuff - I hope your mom recovers quickly and that you are able to see her soon!
@surfcity - Yes on turnover at facilities. In our experience, people use facilities as a training ground until a “better” position comes along. There was a ton of turnover at my mom’s MC in the two years that she was there. There was a DON change (that one was way for the better), and I can’t even remember how many activity directors they went through. The good thing for us is that there were two RNs that were there the entire time (they were older and liked the hours and slower pace), and three of my mom’s aides were there the whole time.
Routine and environment seemed more important to my mom than staff but that said, it was nice for us as the family that there were people who remembered my mom when she first came in and was more interactive. Really, though, staff continuity seemed more important to us than my mom. As long as people were smiling and kind (which they overwhelming were), she was totally good with a new face. I also found that new folks were told about residents’ idiosyncrasies so approached them in the right way.
Update on my dad. After his UTI and sepsis scare six weeks ago, he is back at his Memory Care, and has no memory what-so-ever of going to the hospital. He is still on hospice, the hospice people have learned to listen to the Memory Care people, who know my dad so well. He was walking before the UTI/sepsis and is now in a wheelchair. He forgets that he can’t walk and tries now and then and falls. Since he is on hospice, when he falls I get a call from Memory Care and then they call Hospice and Hospice goes in and sees him and they give me a call. The best thing about hospice is that I think it will prevent him from unneccesary (and scary) ER visits. Since he was on hospice we were allowed to visit him “in person” on the patio. His facility still has not had any residents come down with covid, but evidently some neighboring facilities have, so now we are back to window visits.
As far as staff turnover goes, at first it worried me a lot, but often the new staff is actually better than the old staff and it works out. My dad is not easy, and the current staff is so good to him.
My dad was randomly drawn again for a Covid test. I have lost track of how many tests he has had, but it has been quite a few.
@MaineLonghorn that’s terrible about church and lunch. And frustrating. I don’t blame you for not communicating for a couple of days!
Interesting @tx5athome that your Dad’s facility is doing random testing. Every time I read about colleges I wonder why testing cannot be done in facilities for the elderly.
I ran into an acquaintance today (from a distance!) who told me about this device she uses to connect with her father in personal living. She said she can look in on him and see what he is doing, and it can be used as a video call (ala Facetime).
She said it is very user friendly and only needs Wifi and electricity to work; I know my parents’ community has open Wifi so I could easily set this up.
Very sad–a friend who is quarantining 100s of feet from her folks to spend time with her folks just learned while she’s waiting to be able to see her folks that her mom just passed away. I’m very sad for her and everyone–we can’t even grieve together or comfort one another in person! The mom was >90 but it was the dad who was having more health issues right now.
@surfcity can you clarify about the Nucleus Care? Is it similar to an IPad doing Facetime? The video ad doesn’t mention “looking in” on the person. How does that work? Thanks!
@compmom I am thinking she meant she could “call” her dad but he may not be aware that she is calling? I will clarify. She did say that the device just looks like a clock when it is not communicating.
Just sent info on nucleus care to the director of my mother’s assisted living.
I went to an appointment with my mother with skin doc a few days ago. . The doc met us outside on his lunch hour- very nice of him. The assisted living would not let me drive her because I only have two doors, so she went on their bus, all alone in the big bus! She was so disturbed by this trip that she had to be escorted upstairs at dinner and went to bed. You realize how fragile they are…she was flapping her arms, which she does when she is anxious. The nurse called me with concern.
We have to go out at 6:30 am on Tuesday for her skin cancer to be removed. It is quite large. The doc offered the early hour to reduce exposure risk. Noone else will be in the building. Let’s hope the staff remember to get her up. It is shift change time so they will get her up at 5:45. Not feeling like this is going to go well.
I have had an extra INR scheduled for today, her sleep meds will be given early, bought some extra bandages and Blood Stop, no visiting nurse needed. During COVID the assisted living is willing to do so much more.
To my sister’s shock, last week she learned my dad is DRIVING! She said she would call his doctor to discuss it, but I haven’t heard anything more.
Then she learned that Dad planned to take Mom to a dine-in restaurant to celebrate Mom’s birthday. Sis was as livid as I was when I learned my parents were going to church and potluck lunches. She read him the riot act, basically exactly what I said the week before. She did add in that she didn’t think he ever wanted to be on a ventilator again, since he went through that horror twice this winter. Lo and behold, he LISTENED to her and asked their caregiver to go pick up some food and they had a nice dinner at home.
I guess this will be an ongoing issue. I am so glad I live 2,500 miles away since I couldn’t do much even if I lived right next to them.
@MaineLonghorn we found that MD’s were not really willing to get involved in an active way with driving. As I remember, the primary wrote a letter that my mother should not be driving but that didn’t accomplish anything.
I challenged her to take a driver’s assessment at a rehab, telling her that was the only way to shut people up. This was manipulative on my part but I didn’t want her to kill herself or anyone else. She failed the exam, both cognitive and road test, miserably and they took away her license on the spot.
Of course, then I also had to get rid of the car because she would have driven without a license.
She talked about calling a lawyer to fight it. I just expressed sympathy at her loss. Eventually she forgot about it.
Uber has a special service for elders.
As I remember your Dad is in better shape cognitively than my mother so it might be harder…
On the other hand, years before, when she had a stroke, and didn’t do well on the rehab test, I advocated for her to keep her license. She seemed to be driving well actually. I hired a driving school to take her out to “practice” and then asked the driving school to write a letter to the doctor. The doctor must have thought it was an official evaluation because that was the end of it. She got a good 5 more years of driving independence from that until it became clear she should not be driving and then we acted fast.
Good luck. There are entire books out on how to deal with the driving issue!
Thanks, @compmom. I should find a book to read! I’m frankly baffled as to how Dad can even GET to the car, because he has to walk down a flight of stairs to get to the daylight basement/garage. I can’t imagine that the caregiver drives the car around to the front, but maybe she does?!?
I think the disconnect is that Dad thinks he is just putting HIMSELF at risk, but of course, he is really endangering others by driving when he shouldn’t. I do think there must be some cognitive decline going on, because it’s not like him not to think of others.
The driving issue is so tough, we still laugh (now) about FIL calling the police to report DH stole his car. In reality, BIL just parked it somewhere safe until we could get agreement that FIL could not drive. But the police had to investigate.
