<p>Montegut, I’m so sorry, but glad to hear it was peaceful.</p>
<p>EndlessEntropy, welcome to the thread. </p>
<p>Your dad’s anxiety (and yours) are understandable. Remember that this surgery is extremely routine for the surgeons who do it. Does he have other health problems as well which you’re worried might be affected?</p>
<p>Let us know how it goes.</p>
<p>montegut, I am glad there was peace in the end. I hope all your family is joined at this time in peace also.</p>
<p>GT, My mom took about a month to get the hang of which direction to push to get up and down the elevator, but she got it fine. Got it better when she had someone worse off than she was to boss.</p>
<p>Sorry for your loss, Mintegut, but glad it was peaceful.</p>
<p>Keeping you, your mom, and your family in my prayers, Montegut. Sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss Montegut and thankful that it was peaceful. </p>
<p>Thanks for the advice everyone about my parents. I agree, their baseline is at the lowest end of the range I thought they were at. I will go out today for just a couple of hours and help sort/unpack, but due to valiant efforts of myself, my niece, and husband, chaos is gradually decreasing. </p>
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<p>In FL, they were in a neighborhood but no public transportation, and needed to drive to shop/go to the doctor. Typically it wasn’t far and a clean driving record for them both. There were also only a few roads to drive on. My Mom has currently chosen never to drive. My dad drives only with the GPS mounted in front of him with step-by-step instructions. He used to be an excellent driver, but he realizes how difficult it is for him to focus on it. He is getting to the point where he would prefer not to drive, and since transportation within a 12 mile radius is available and they can walk to the bank/grocery store, it will take care of itself. The trick will be getting them comfortable walking around the community. They are not frail, and “not sure” about the help alert alarms they are given to wear (“it’s a necklace, maybe a wristband, I don’t remember” though given to them yesterday). I did suggest that they wear them when walking in case they get lost. </p>
<p>The good news is, dad is coming around about finances and did tell me that their policy is to keep no secrets from me.</p>
<p>Montegut, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Montegut, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll keep you all in my prayers.</p>
<p>Montegut, I finally got around to reading what was going on the last few days for you. I am so sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your loss Montegut.</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss, Montegut. Take good care of yourself.</p>
<p>Montegut, my sympathies to you. </p>
<p>My mom had another stroke 2 weeks ago. It affected her right side and her speech, she already had aphasia from her stroke 18 months ago. She starts physical therapy tomorrow, but I am not sure she will understand directions. Sigh…my 80 year old Dad is still keeping her at home. I told him the other day that if he decided she needed to be somewhere else to get more help, then it was okay. His response was that he may go first and then what would I do with her? Oh my God. I do not want this responsibility. My brother hardly helps at all.</p>
<p>Montegut- your family is in my prayers.<br>
Eddie- have you tried taking your dad to some AL places so he can see what they can do for your mom? Maybe that will pave the way for him to understand?</p>
<p>I’m halfway through my brother and sisters visit with mom. Took sister to the airport on Friday- she stayed a week. Of course mom was awake EVERY time we visited; when she normally is sleeping when H and I visit. argh.</p>
<p>I made an appointment with the funeral home and the three of us made the future arrangements for mom. What a relief. Sister understands what is going on, brother is still thinking “if mom only eats more and gets stronger, then she can go home”. But it is what it is. Now if I can just make it to next Saturday when I take brother to the airport. </p>
<p>Sending strength and support to those on this merry-go-round.</p>
<p>Montegut, your mom was lucky to have your help these last many months.</p>
<p>Eddie, I SO know how you feel. I don’t want this responsibility either. I hope you can get your dad to consider what might be best for your mom given her current circumstances. </p>
<p>I spent another 5 hours sorting/filing/pitching and shredding papers from mom’s house. Why oh why can’t people realize what a burden this is on their relatives. On the plus side, much of today’s boxes were from 2004-07. Almost nothing needed to be kept. I also found an envelope with letters I wrote to home from Girl Scout camp in the early 70s. That was entertaining! Yes, interspersed with the papers from 04. Two 2012 bank statements were also mixed in with the 04 stuff and checks that were written, signed and never mailed. Wish I had an industrial shredder.</p>
<p>CD, it’s really an accomplishment to have final arrangements figured out. It was awful trying to help mom do that when dad died. I have a sibling too who is optimistic when it isn’t warranted. It can make the others second guess themselves. </p>
<p>Hope everyone can have a little peace for a while. It seems like there’s never a dull moment.</p>
<p>Montegut, I am sorry for your loss. Glad your mom found peace.</p>
<p>I have a question- I am trying to handle the medical part of my mom’s (lives 2000 miles away) bills. My B (500 miles away) has been handling the utilities, etc. I already get the caregivers bills and mail order meds bills, etc. We have POA. The temporary mail forward to my B is soon to be up (6 months limit) and he thinks he already has change of address handled for his part. </p>
<p>I think it will possibly mess up social security/ medicare etc. if I send a change of mailing address indicating another state. I just want the mail to come to me instead of Mom who gets very agitated when she gets mail and does not understand it. </p>
<p>I may have Mom extend the forward for 6 more months this time to me but I think that is the mail forward temporary limit. If I do a permanent change of address it will look like she moved, she still lives in her home. </p>
<p>I visit every other month and maybe after the year forward limit I may just have her save the papers. I don’t think anything important will be sent since I have already asked all the doctors bills that still need paid to be sent to me.</p>
<p>Obviously 9 more months is a long time with a 91 year old and many things could change by then. Any one have to figure this out before? Any ideas?</p>
<p>Not sure, rockymtnhigh, but perhaps her address could be care of you. Also, if you want to be sure you receive all mail from certain organizations, call them individually to request a change of address to you. Perhaps they’ll ask for PoA to be faxed or mailed, but in my experience, I was rarely questioned when helping elders. Good luck.</p>
<p>I am calling tomorrow to see if there is a form for mailing address only with medicare mailings and not change the home address. My other places I did have it in C/O me.</p>