I bought christmas presents from mom for all the grandkids and children with a gift card mom had and she and I made wrapping paper using ink pads and stamps. We then wrapped everyone’s gift and put gift labels on each. Each person got an identical small tin of giradhelli chocolates.
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She also seemed to enjoy helping me wrap presents.
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Wrapped with Love.
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My newly-widowed mom is really being buoyed by the small kindnesses of people she thought had no reason to care about her. One example: the guys we hired to mow the lawns (a bunch of high school students Local Sibling knew) came to the door yesterday after finishing up the last mow of the season, with flowers and a card for her, and a piece of paper with their names and numbers “in case you need help for anything just for free”
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While not for a parent, I knew someone would have some suggestions for me. Due to cancer, and being bedridden, my husband is in need of a medical alert necklace that would just call me, not a monitoring company or 911. He is in a guess bedroom and as of late, is having trouble managing his cell phone, which he use to use to call me when needed, especially during the night. I am having trouble finding something that fits our needs; might someone know of a reliable system? I just need it to be able to dial my cell phone, or even if I had a receiver of sorts in my bedroom that would buzz when he needed help. During the day I am usually in the room with him, or have a baby monitor to watch him; it is overnight where I need something to wake me if he wants.
Do you mean something like a pager system: https://www.amazon.com/Caregiver-Wireless-Monitoring-Portable-Emergency/dp/B09SPSK3V6/ref=asc_df_B09SPSK3V6/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=565005377756&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15803657007885172426&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021565&hvtargid=pla-1655660785329&th=1
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My brother mentioned the idea of a walkie talkie for my mom for similar reasons. Some of them have alert buttons that call other walkie talkies with an alarm sound.
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Alexa has an intercom function. You could put a basic Dot in both rooms and set it up for Drop In. Then your husband would just need to speak, no hands required. You could even get a smart plug for your bedside lamp and husband could turn it on with his voice, if that would wake you.
An Alexa might be nice for him anyway because it can provide news, sports, stories, AI conversation, jokes, music, etc. just using voice commands.
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@Marilyn Unfortunately, his voice is a whisper at best; sometimes he has trouble speaking. He has slept with his Apple watch on and will ask Siri to call me, but Siri doesn’t always hear or understand him. While in the hospital this week, he tried to call me 4 times last night; Siri did call me, but the call came from his phone which was sitting on the table, so he couldn’t hear me talking, and he couldn’t say anything to me. I had to call the nurse station each time to check on him to make sure he was ok.
@momofboiler1 Yes, that is what I was looking for; just couldn’t think of the right thing to call it! My daughter had bought a walkie talkie set, but with his limited mobility, we want something around his neck so it is in the same place all the time as he is always on his back.
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Get a good old fashioned bell.
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Do you still have a landline? Our cordless phones have an intercom function. You’d have to be able to push the “intercom” button then the handset number though. Ours are Panasonic, looks like similar options are still on the market.
@O2BonCC We do have a landline, but at night he can’t see the buttons and gets confused. He still would have to be able to remember to pick up the phone, and not the remote!
@sbinaz Unfortunately, I sleep 2 floors above him as he is set up in a guest bedroom on the garage level, and our master is on the 3rd floor. A bell would not be heard while I was sleeping; this is again assuming he could find it, pick it up and ring it.
A single button device is going to be the best chance I have of getting him to use it. As his weakness progresses, I will most likely have to have evening help; trying to avoid that as long as I can.
You could consider sleeping in guest bedroom with him.
My sister set up a portable doorbell within the house for my mom to call the night caregiver
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We used a programable doorbell for my hospice Dad. My Mom was on floor up, as he was in the family room full time. It was programmed to play " The Victors" - The U of Michigan fight song ( near and dear to their hearts). It worked very well.
An interesting and heartwarming story 5 years later. We had buried the doorbell part with my dad and my mom kept the receiver in a drawer near her living room chair. The night she died, all of us left the house to go home and grieve after the funeral home came. My oldest sister was the last out the door and guess what? … the doorbell in the drawer went off. My sister called us right away and we had another good cry. We love this true story as we feel like my dad came to get my mom and had been waiting. This brings us great comfort still, 9 years later.
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@sbinaz There is no room to stay in his room, and with his snoring, I can’t sleep in there. I am a very light sleeper and his snoring is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Before he got sick, I would make his turn on his side and he wouldn’t snore. He has now been only on his back since he was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Tonight once home from the hospital I found that he couldn’t even remember how to use the home phone to call me. I was worried he would try to use Siri again and call 911, so I turned Siri off. I am on our sofa which is one floor up, but have the monitor and will check the screen often as I wake every couple of hours anyway. Hopefully he won’t need me in between as I have got to sleep some tonight.
Ordered a couple of the caregiver pagers, hoping one will work for us. If not, it may be time for night help which I hate to pay for; my kids said get over it and spend the money.
Also with the caregiver pager, since you wake up every couple of hours, how about a camera focused on his bed with a laptop at your bedside - so when you wake up - if you are awake enough to look at the laptop screen before going back to sleep. Otherwise, you can get a caregiver for a block of time if you can sleep for a block of time.
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I have a baby monitor on him, so check it every time I wake up during the night. I just would feel terrible if I slept for say a 3 hour stretch and he had been up for 2 needing help to move or wanted his water, or needed the bedpan. I will see how tonight goes;
I know I won’t sleep well knowing he can’t call me, but hoping he sleeps a good while!
I am so sorry you and he are going through this. Would he/you be willing to consider an adult diaper , at least overnight?
This must be so difficult for you both. Do you have any help, or could you hire someone, so you could have respite and get a full night of sleep once or twice a week?
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