On the plus side, Paxlovid REALLY worked well for our family and helped us fully recover from our mild cases of covid in mid-July.
When my mom was 88 she finally got COVID and she was sobbing, scared, worried about having had exposed other people. āBut I was vaccinated! And boostered!āā¦the ER doctor turned around, got down at eye level and said āAnd THATāS why you arenāt deadā
She had been ill for more than a week at that point. The indoor season is coming and we have to go back to testing before gathering. Even my skeptical brother has agreed, oh sure now that he has a wife doing chemo and a grandbaby due any dayā¦
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DH & I signed the closing papers yesterday for selling MILās house. Closing date is day after tomorrow. I am relieved. Feels like a huge weight has been taken off of our shoulders.
DH, on the other hand, voiced regrets not even an hour after the ink was dry. āWe should have kept the house and rented it out. We could have made a lot of money every month off of that.ā No, DH, we could not have āmade a lot of money every monthā by renting it out. We ran the numbers many times, included all of the monthly expenses that would be incurred from doing that. Every time we reviewed it, it never made good business sense.
I never want to own a 2nd property like this ever again for the rest of my natural life. DH has, for the past 3 years, been enamored with the idea of being a landlord/property āinvestorā because there are 2 people he knows at work who do this and I think he wants bragging rights. For the entire 16 years that weāve owned MILās house, heās periodically talked about stuff like āYou know, after my mom dies, we could keep the house and rent it out!ā Meanwhile, Iāve always hated that idea. 16 years of periodic bickering about that is now over. And Iām totally relieved. FINALLY!
Also what I think is feeding into his regrets is the fact that now that MILās house is sold and no longer ours, it means that an era is officially over. And heās not quite ready for that, which is understandable.
Congratulations!
Although hugs to your H, itās complicated. I had some pangs of regrets after selling my parentsā place after they died too. It is the end of an era.
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Thatās why my sister SAYS she wonāt get the booster ā¦ she took the shots and still got it in January. And ended up in ER twice! I grimace and nod.
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Many people have gotten serious complications from the Covid vaccinations - DH immediately had paroxysmal A Fib after the 2nd Pfizer shot. We know of others who had serious issues too.
Every person needs to gauge for themselves on this. Yes, there are treatments that do help people who have issues with Covid.
Covid has been a very bad thing - until they figured out how to treat the first and subsequent waves in 2020, 2021, 2022, it was scary for many.
One should not be terribly scared now unless one had very bad trouble. When ill the first day or two and suspect Covid, check with a kit if it is Covid ā then get treatment. Do not wait a week with being ill, especially with elderly/co-morbidities.
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My dad almost died from lung issues and he is 86 years old. Heās had no reactions to any of the shots. He needs the damned booster.
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I highly doubt that my MIL has had a booster since she left her original AL in April 2022. My SIL handles everything for her, and SIL only had a first vaccine - only because she was required to be vaccinated in order to be allowed into the AL when her dad was dying. The new AL is in an area where anti vaxxers rule, so Iām guessing there is no push to get boosters. H is glad that his mom does have some protection from earlier vaccines, and she didnāt get Covid when her H had it or when she was around others who had it. At this point, MIL wants to die, and his sister has healthcare POA - so H stays out of it.
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My FiL owns a rental property several states away, and is insistent that DH and his brother will āloveā being landlords and the income stream āis money in the bankā.
DH has told him, point blank, that thereās no way he wants this albatross; either give it entirely to the brother, or sell it now. But FiL is unable to give up this āplanā he has (even though there is no will, so how FiL imagines the property will smoothly transfer is a mystery)
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My MIL inherited dividend stocks from her father. She was good at managing them for many years, and she has told us numerous times that she will be leaving stock to us and doesnāt want us to sell it. What she doesnāt know is that those dividend stocks arenāt what they used to be, and her money manager has moved her money into other investments. This wasnāt done covertly - when she could no longer actively manage her investments, she asked the manager to take over. She was asked what her financial goals were, and the money has been managed accordingly. Her investments have done well ā¦ but whenever she tells H & his sister not to sell those dividend stocks, they just nod & smile.
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@sbinaz, Your Hās second thoughts sound like unprocessed grief. Heāll come around. Itās a hard thing, even if the relationship is complicated. Youāve both had the benefit (?) of being so busy taking care of the house sale and household goods that the true loss is now starting to hit.
Take care of each other. 
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I remember being disturbed reading this essay by Emanuel, but I find myself now agreeing with it after watching what my father has experienced. He is 94 and his life revolves around doctorsā appointment for incurable conditions, and his meals. He is mostly blind, deaf in one ear, and spends most of his time in a wheelchair because of age-related sarcopenia. Heās also now confused. When I call him, he tells me he is at a circus in Delaware, a medical meeting in California, a hotel in Chicago, or a car show in Kansas. He lives in the past. He almost died in August from brachycardia but had a pacemaker installed (my sister and I ordered it, we went out and stayed with him in the hospital for 5 days, still wondering if we made the right decision, but he was delirious and very unhappy). The heartbeat is fine but the delirium is still there. Heās outlived his health and his mind. Hopefully he wonāt outlive his money. He absolutely canāt be moved now. I went to see him mid-Oct; my sister is going late Nov.; I am going the last week in Dec. He would never want this.
Iām right there with you. DH has been in love for years with the notion of being a landlord. But this house is an hour and a half from where we live. And itās not in an area that I would choose to purchase a rental property if I were in the market to buy a rental property today. Even after weād run the numbers in a spreadsheet and decided that it wouldnāt make good financial sense to keep the house, here we are today and DH is revisiting the notion of wanting to keep the house as a rental.
Well, it no longer matters anymore because weāve already signed the closing paperwork. And I left the keys in the lockbox this evening. So itās all finished. All done. Iām relieved and thrilled to have this big monkey off of our backs. Iām keeping my relief under wraps for now since itās all still raw for my DH.
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Rental property ties up capital and can just be a headache. We have had rental property all our married lives and our realtor is surprised at our very low net return. Itās really a weight and hasnāt improved our lives. We hope to sell it in the near future and have proceeds from it available to help our kids buy places if their own.
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Letās face it. Many retirees donāt even like the idea of upkeep needed on their own home, and it is a VERY short commute to own property.
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My FiL has always had a rental property and he loves being a landlord ā but this property is 1200 miles from us, in an increasingly inhospitable state. At one point, they were going to buy a second one (so each son inherits a property) and DH really put his foot down on that.
My inlaws are lovely folks, but the idea of their probate someday makes my stomach hurt. They sincerely believe that when one of them dies, it will be automatic that everything belongs to the other, and when that one dies, it is cheaper for the state to take care of the estate.
This is a common view among some of our elder relations who havenāt kept up on estate law or consumer protections. A meeting with trusted advisor has sometimes helped them update their plans.
I would suggest in meantime to find out about probate in their location. Have an updated list of names, addresses, phone #s, birthdates of their parents, siblings and children as possible heirs who would need to be notified about probate. (Date of death as well).
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I agree, but it is up to their children to get them to make even the most basic of plans. DH and BiL have washed their hands of this. My inlaws do not have a lawyer or financial planner or estate firm or even a notebook of their passwords. Any attempt to get them to see reason is met with anger, denial, or indifference.
FiL is 82 and has survived 3 heart attacks and 2 rounds of chemo. His current stated plan is to take the next 5 years to āstraighten up the house for saleā and then move to a smaller house ā weāve shown them great choices and he finds fault with every single one and has no actual intent to move.
Oh dear. At a bare minimum, they need a list of assetsā¦ ideally with notation about co-ownership and any defined beneficiaries/alternates.
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My SisIL intended to āget her affairs in orderā for years, especially after her initial cancer diagnosis, and then after the reoccurrence. Unfortunately, when we visited her in person as she was NOT improving an her 2nd bunch of cancer treatments, she was very interested and willing to have me sort through her large cardboard box of statements and documents. She was also willing to have estate attorney come to her house the next day with the potential of saving her brothers hundreds of thousands in probate fees.
In 48-72 hours, all her wishes were carried out and she died peacefully, knowing that her brothers would have more assets rather than probate court.
We really didnāt expect her to die at that point but she was so happy and relieved and exhausted by fighting cancer.
Things CAN happen rather quickly IF there is agreement.
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