The only thing that gets my mother out of bed a few times/week is her (diluted) martini in the assisted living pub. I joke with the aides that we should try dangling a gin nip in front of her to get her up.
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My dad stays in his chair â but rigged his 02 line to reach down the basement stairs so he can work on the lawnmower in time to mow their 3 acre field. Mom and I just agreed that if this motivates him, for now weâll not point out how unsuited that task is. and honestly, I find myself thinking at times that we donât have the right to keep him âsafeâ at the expense of making him miserable.
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@greenbutton â depending on his O2 needs, if he has an adequate Portable Oxygen Concentrator, he could wear it while doing any activity he prefers, including mowing grass or anything else. There are backpacks that make carrying a concentrator less onerous.
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He has a portable, and heâll stick it behind him on the seat as he mows but it really doesnât have the power to keep him adequately saturated when heâs doing an hour of mowing. I will lookin to a backpack.
He has a much bigger stationary unit for the house. His pulmonary function is being assessed again next week
Someone here mentioned clear Ensure â he still doesnât like it, but my Mom is delighted with it so thank you!
There are portables that provide up to 3 liters continuous flow. If that is enough or nearly enough, he could try using with conserver such as Oxymiser. The conservers boosts the oxygen the patient gets.
They are heavy machines (about 14+ pounds) but 1 battery should last about an hour. It could be bungeed to back of his seat or something.
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I totally understand. Your loved one is wearing out. So the only thing you need to know is everything has moved from your schedule to hers and is totally out of your control. Iâm POSITIVE that she did enjoy everything! And she did her best and you did your best! Donât be sad! Youâre doing well! Cherish it all!
My dadâs schedule moved too. Very hard to plan anything but he could til the very end. Heâd say "I need to rest now so Iâll be ready for X (visiting with neighbors, special dinner etc.) Heâd pick and choose who or what he wanted. It was hard but it was his choices.
Some other things that might not be apparent was my dad wanted the newspaper read to him. But only what he was interested in (which was pretty much on the opposite radar of my own interests!). But it kept him up to date and we had lively conversations.
Hearing aidsâso simple but elders âgive upâ if they canât hear. My dad couldnât go in for the hearing test (hard enough to get him out of bed) but I got the hearing aid center to give us new aids when his failedâjust based it on old tests and factory settingsâbig difference,
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Interesting fact: hearing aids donât always address the brain-based comprehension issues that accounted for 30% of my motherâs hearing loss! She can have the best hearing aid on the market and have it perfectly adjusted but still not hear 30%.
Yes, there is cognitive hearing loss, where folks hear sounds but it takes them time to figure out whatâs actually being said to them and process their words and figure out what it means in their life.
Thereâs is also cognitive reading loss as well, where they can see the words but if itâs more than a menu, they may have trouble sorting out what theyâre reading/seeing.
My folks had both of these issues as they aged and had increasing difficulty having any conversation or talking about anything they had just seen or heard or read. Still better if they can hear and try to understand some of the conversation abc sounds they are hearing.
My mom definitely does better with hearing aids on and in her ears. I do have to repeat and paraphrase what is said to her so she will have more time to digest it and possibly react.
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The med techs at MILâs new AL take her hearing aids every night when they bring her bedtime medicine & bring them back when she gets out of bed. That way, they make sure she âremembersâ to put them in. Itâs been a big help.
We found out yesterday that MIL has not had her pacemaker checked at the doctorâs in 3 years, and her monitoring service ended somewhere along the line. She insisted on using her longtime physician, who we all considered useless, rather than the physician at her last AL. Now that she has moved 3 hours away, she is using the NP at her new AL. Heâs been very helpful. MIL now has an appointment at a cardiac center, and we have our fingers crossed that if they adjust her pacemaker, she might get a bit of energy back. Maybe not, but itâs worth trying.
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Suddenly quite sympathetic to those whose absent sibling suddenly has lots of opinions and wants to be involved in making decisions. Um, where have you been the last 40 years?
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4 cases of COVID at my dadâs facility. Theyâre back to wearing masks.
5 residents, 3 staff and 1 family member at my motherâs facilityâŠand still no masks.
I have to go in to do colostomy care and double mask with N95 and surgical mask. Will have 2nd booster in a week.
Residents all have had second boosters. Those who are sick had Paxlovid.
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The facility gave booster shots while my dad was in the hospital for his surgery do he will get his next week. I told him to get it last month but he didnât.
Maybe he can have meals in his room for 10 days until booster takes effect-?
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Thatâs a good idea. His caregiver can bring him meals all week and then I bet the facility would deliver on the weekends.
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When several aides have COVID, I feel the urge to put a sign on my motherâs door saying âNo staff allowedâ and just doing everything myself. Irrational since we are paying quite a bit for that assistance in her facility. Residents stayed in their rooms during the surge but there were still staff going in and out, and they all work all over the facility, not dedicated to one floor. One time her hospice aide was positive!
For a month or two I feel more relaxed because of the second booster given to residents. An with paxlovid they are all doing well.
My parents power went out last night, and he became anxious about his 02 pump so they sat in their car, in the garage with it plugged in to the lighter, mistakenly thinking that would charge it. The battery is good for hours, yes. He was unswayed.
When they realized it wouldnât, she parked the car in the driveway and ran it off and on FOR SIX HOURS until the utility company truck arrived at 2am.
At no point did she call Local Sibling, nor did he check in with her (even though their power often goes out in storms, this is not unusual). She did not call preferred sibling, or me. Or anybody else.
They have a generator, but she canât use it and he forgot, and she didnât want to remind him. (You have to move it outside the house)
I am just baffled by all the behaviors.
Welcome to Dementia World, where bad decisions and a refusal to recognize when help is needed are the norm.
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Wow.
Sorry to hear this. Perhaps useful to consider it powerful, potentially life saving data. I was responsible for my parentsâ elder care for 15 years; these âforks in the roadâ seemed almost inevitable. It was helpful to use what I observed in order to pursue to most constructive way forward. You are navigating a lot and hopefully can coordinate with your local sibling to first ensure that your parents are safe and then plan for sustaining that security while creating the best opportunity for quality of life. In my experience, an event such as this is not a âone offâ, but rather a window into how many smaller decisions are overwhelming day to day. All my best; this is the tough stuff.
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