We may have reached a crisis point. They are saying my father will need a BIPAP machine (which I think is great - will keep him out of the hospital every 3 weeks). But the assisted living considers BIPAP a skilled equipment need and won’t let him back with one. He will need this for the rest of his life, which may mean finding a brand new facility for him to live in. He is going to be devastated if he can’t go back to the assisted living he has been in for the past several year - it is his home. I am still talking to the all the various parties involved (maybe a CPAP instead, etc.)
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That’s odd. My dad has a BIPAP in independent living.
That is what I thought a BIPAP is a home machine does not need a nurse. Situation is resolved - he is going “home” with a CPAP instead which should help and is allowed
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My dad and his caregiver seem to have no trouble keeping the BIPAP working but whenever he is hospitalized it seems to be a big problem.
It has been the opposite for my dad. For every one of his very regular hospital visits over the past 2 years (probably every three to four weeks), the first thing they have done to get him back to breathing properly is put him on a BIPAP machine.
He’s lucky! We literally have to call the hospital each night to make sure they hook it up. Sometimes they still don’t!
Progress of a sort – my parents’ power went out again last night. Mom proudly informed us early this morning that it went out, but she and Dad got his O2 hooked up to the battery backup (preferred sibling procured one) and went back to sleep.
I go out next week to help them with various tasks and check on food intake. Dad’s most recent tests show a mixed bag, but of course the doctors have not told them that. “well,he has an appointment in July, we’ll discuss it then”.
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My mother has been spending increasing time in bed, and doesn’t eat more than two bites on those days, even ice cream. For the last week she has been 100% in bed. Her anemia is much worse. I have put her on hospice for real this time and will be trained to give her morphine and ativan. I have been here all day for 4 or 5 days with my computer and am grateful I can be here.
@compmom, hugs. It is really tough to go through that. You have done a good job for a long time. I bet she is grateful you can be there too. hugs
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((Hug)) to you @compmom .
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Bedside nursing is satisfying to me. I actually like bringing her water, positioning her. hand on forehead, spoon feeding and we don’t really communicate by talking. I really do feel grateful.
My father died of suicide when I was 15. I wish I could have cared for him. Those of us who get to do this are lucky.
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You have an amazing relationship with your mother.
A great lesson in kindness, perseverence, empathy, and in honoring our parents and respecting their dignity.
Your dedication and sacrifices are an inspiration. I learn so much from your experiences, thank you.
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Thank you but for 7 years she has been in assisted living- and so many of you live with elderly parent(s). I have wanted to do that all along but my mother actually wanted assisted living. I have been able to drive away.
Right now, I am just glad I can be here like this because I was afraid, last year, she would die alone due to COVID. I am masked. There ihas been very recent COVID in the facility among staff and residents (5 cases, probably resolved) . But I am allowed to be here as much as I want.
I can never get over how stressful it must be to persevere and maintain good care while actually living with parents . I have it easy!
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@compmom Wishing comfort and peace for both you and your mom.
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I just saw Sally Field’s movie “Two Weeks” made in 2006 - she is a dying mother, and has a husband and adult children, along with hospice. One son is in film and was recording her while asking questions during an earlier time with Sally Field looking great but knowing about her terminal diagnosis. I watched it with our Amazon Prime. It was a thoughtful movie. Excellent performance by Sally Field. In real life Sally Field is now 75, so she was 60 in the movie but playing older. The adult children in the movie were characters in their 40’s, and the husband was her 2nd (15 years) and not the children’s father. The movie showed a range of emotion, which others can relate to with a dying parent.
Agree 100 percent with Hippobirdy. You have done for your mother what we all wish we had been able to do, with love and kindness.
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I am glad you are by her side and advocating for her comfort and peace. Hugs to you.
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Send hugs to you @compmom. You’ve been an amazing daughter.
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@compmom, You’ve had a long, hard road, but your mom could never have an advocate and daughter more caring than you.
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@compmom - Agree it is a privilege to walk the entire way with a loved one. Your caretaking and advocacy have been inspirational as well as educational. Wishing you and your mother the best. Thank you for all you share here.
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