OMG on the bureaucracy surrounding a simple iron test.
Maybe you can “notice” something that would require bloodwork. I dunno, fainting spell or dizziness. Though why the hell that hasn’t been done is beyond me. Aren’t iron levels part of a standard screen?
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Just read all these posts. So much going on for everyone! @greenbutton if he is profoundly anemic, an iron panel would be standard, right? Did he get any infusions or a transfusion while in the ER? I can’t believe they sent someone home with profound anemia.
I had to call hospice a couple of times this afternoon. My mother was in extreme pain first in back, then neck, then chest- pain like labor, really bad pain that I have never seen. Once chest was involved I started thinking heart, aneurysm (she has one in her aorta and her aorta is also pretty blocked).
I was giving her morphine dose after morphine dose and ativan, from the hospice kit, and it wasn’t touching the pain. Hospice upped the priority after another phone call (mother screaming in the background) and nurse came quickly and gave still more morphine and ativan, twice. Still horrible pain.
We discussed options and called ambulance to take her to the hospice house for pain management. They injected a LOT of morphine and ativan and she has been sleeping for a few hours.
She may be dying. Whether that is going on or not, it is a huge relief to see her asleep after so many hours of agony, clutching her chest. At one point she looked at me and told me she was dying, with tears in her eyes.
I am spending the night on the couch in her room, unless her snoring and moaning drives me to the couch in the hallway. This place is quiet as a church.
Oh @compmom. Hugs to you.
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I’m so glad your mom was able to be transferred to the inpatient unit for pain management. There is absolutely nothing worse than watching a loved one suffering. Sending peace and love to you!
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So difficult! May you both sleep well tonight!
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I am realizing I may never have another real conversation with her. She is either drugged or in severe pain. I am grateful we got to joke about the cute young men who always come with the ambulance.
I never thought it would happen like this. When it does, you kind of can’t believe it.
Nurse just gave her more meds via injection because she started to wake up moaning and screaming. She did call my by name so I am glad I am here.
Hang in there. This is one of the biggest life events. I am not far behind you, with my 91 year old father who’s in hospice. My heart goes out to you.
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@cinnamon1212 you too!
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@compmom, I’m glad your mom is in a place where you both will find support. Such a difficult journey.
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Thinking of your mom and you @compmom
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I understand. My mom was in pain when we moved her from a hospital into a hospice facility. I was shocked when she died less than 24 hours after arriving. But unlike the hospital, the hospice facility was a peaceful place where staff treated my mom like a VIP when she arrived. I think she felt comfortable and safe. Although it all happened so quickly, I could not have asked for a better experience. May your journey be similarly comforting.
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Thinking of you @compmom
If nobody minds, I’d like to bring up an issue that is good news/bad news about my mother-in-law, going on age 100 and in assisted living.
Good news: She’s 100% healthy and cognitively intact (other than osteoporosis and she is very hard of hearing). She takes no meds except for osteoporosis meds and sometimes Advil for aches and pains. Heart in perfect condition. No diabetes. Never had cancer or other serious disease. Healthy weight. She has a laptop, sends and receives email, reads the news online, and video chats with captions. She’s also on Facebook and LinkedIn if you want to connect with her 
Bad news: She broke her hip three years ago and has no interest in PT. Sits in a wheelchair every waking hour and refuses to leave the facility. There’s no rational reason for her not to take a 10-minute ride to her daughter’s house for Thanksgiving or other holidays. She even refused to go to her grandson’s wedding an hour away! She does not participate in life, even though she’s perfectly capable and healthy enough to do so. People in wheelchairs don’t have to be confined to four walls. We’d be happy to take her in the car or order a wheelchair transport van to go out to lunch with us, take a ride, come to our house, birthday parties, family events. She refuses.
She is a very insular person and has no interest in making friends or doing the available activities. Family visits her about 1x/week. We video chat about 1x/week.
It would not be impossible for her to live another five to ten years. Seriously. I just read about a local woman who’s 113. It’s so sad and it feels like we’re warehousing her. There’s no quality of life. She’s way too healthy to decide to wait around to die and not participate with the family. Yet this could be her life for 10 more years.
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Sounds depressed. Has any counselor tried to get her to do pt, or just go attend in wheelchair, etc.?
My MIL is 95 and sounds similar. She has expressed that she’s done. She said that she has lived a long life and she is just ready to go. She’s tired of living. She’s not suicidal; she’s just stating how she feels. She is a bit perturbed to still be hanging around. On some level, I get it … she’s beginning to feel like she will live forever, and she just plain doesn’t want to. But it’s hard on her kids to have her here but disinterested in actually “living.”
P.S. A doctor suggested to my MIL that she might be depressed, and she flat out told him that there is a difference between depression and being too da@* old.
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She did PT before the pandemic. Then the facility wouldn’t let any outside caregivers come in, so the physical therapy stopped, and she doesn’t want to do it now. When she was doing the PT she was already able to walk a pretty brisk pace with a walker. She might be a little depressed, but there’s no way she’d talk to anyone. She’s very stubborn.
@brantly is she living/engaged online?
No. She just uses her laptop for very specific purposes, like emailing, reading news, and video chatting. She’ll scroll through facebook once in a while, but she’s a lurker, not a poster. She spends most of her time looking out the window, doing word-search puzzles, and copying by hand all the email messages she receives (have no idea why she does this).
I bet they pushed that because the assumed you would be the caregiver helping your parents. I think that assumption is made a lot of times. Do you think the dr. would have been so quick to discharge if it was just your mother? Or what if he was alone?
Is your H or any of his sibs or any other relatives concerned about this?
They know my parents are home alone, because I told them so. He was placed in the bridge unit because I knew once I requested it, they’d have to evaluate him (there’s a day) and knew he would fail the PT eval.
His numbers are better today (but not normal), his iron has not been checked, and he and mom attempted to convince Preferred Sib to cancel the hematology appt because they “dont have time” to do that.