Parents Disappointed: Will not talk to me

[cobrat]

"but have you ever said to your kid “You should’ve put in a few more hours into the practice. You could’ve made the volleyball varsity you always wanted”? "

Why would I be deliberately hurtful like that to my children? Encouraging hard work and discipline upfront is a completely different thing from saying “see, you could have / should have done more.” Are you under the impression that the OP simply didn’t work hard enough to get into the Ivies he applied to, so his parents have a “right” to be disappointed?

Agree with the overall point. However, some parents/people have a strong results-oriented mentality to the point if one didn’t reach a given desired goal/result, that’s sufficient proof the individual concerned “didn’t work hard enough”.