<p>Hi,
My son is currently in process of recruiting for ivy-schools for track and field.
He just finished his first official visit.</p>
<p>I was wondering if I , as a parent, is allowed to email the coaches
that my son has been contacting.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>There is nothing that says you cannot but tread lightly here. If your son has been handling all of the correspondence pending why you are e-mailing could “potentially” be a turn off to a coach. I would talk to your son about what his correspondence has entailed and see if you really need to get “in the email loop”.
Anyway, I did have email contact with some of the coaches during the process and some not so much. It really depended on the individual situation. Good luck.</p>
<p>pianist095,</p>
<p>I’ll be less diplomatic than momof2010…Are you being recruited by the same Ivy for track and field too? If not, let your son handle whatever questions you have via email or phone. If a coach needs a parents involvement, he/she will ask for it. </p>
<p>If all goes well, you can get involved with the Financial Aid folks soon enough. ;-)</p>
<p>OP, just wondering what are you emailing about?</p>
<p>Agree with fenway. We’re nearing the end of this process and I’ve talked to coaches exactly once, because they specifically asked to meet me at an unofficial. Even when it came to FA pre-reads, my kid talked to the coach, who talked to FA. I did have FA officers call me, and if I’d had questions, I would have called them directly. There were a few times when we talked over what to say pretty carefully, but that was the extent of my involvement. </p>
<p>IMO, nothing but good can come from your kid exclusively talking to the coach. I’m really impressed by how much this whole process has helped my son learn how to communicate clearly, assertively, and politely.</p>
<p>I only spoke to/e-mailed coaches on three occasions. The first was to confirm that a school was going to be within our budget before my S went on his OV. The coach had worked with my son on pre-reads but we weren’t wasting a trip if the coach was just telling my S what he wanted to hear. So I got on the phone with the coach after my S spoke with him.</p>
<p>On the second occasion the coach asked to speak with us (the parents) - turns out he WAS recruiting the family … to pay full tuition for my S to be part of his program. </p>
<p>Third time I e-mailed with a coach and assistant specifically regarding OV travel arrangements. </p>
<p>I agree with others, that for the most part parents should be in the background, which is the way I think they want us when they actually attend the school. If there is really something you need to ask, better to sit with your S and write the e-mail together, but make sure to send it from his account.</p>
<p>I have a slightly different take on Parent communication with coaches. In general most of the coaches who recruit nationally ranked athletes are comfortable with talking with parents and will use discussions with parents to gain a competitive edge over other coaches. In addition most coaches welcome commutation with the parents of their top recruits. This is usually seen with the home visit in which the coach will watch the athlete practice and then go out to dinner with the parents and the athlete. At summer Junior nationals it was very common to see coaches talking to parents. It is also common for the coach to talk to parents during unofficial visits during the athletes junior year. However in the OP case I do not think that it is a good idea for a parent to email a coach after an OV . Coaches are very busy at that time and communication with the coach would probably be seen as a negative.</p>
<p>The difference, as I see it, is that Swimkidsdad’s examples are all of face-to-face contact at competitions and visits, with the coach seeking out contact with the parents–or naturally meeting them in the course of things (though my kid basically told me to find a coffee shop when it came time for coach visits. 
On the other hand, we’re not there for most of his competitions and so maybe have missed those informal encounters. ) . At any rate, I still can’t think of a reason for a parent to email a coach–what would the parent have to ask or say that the athlete couldn’t say for him or herself?</p>
<p>My experience with 2 recruits and good relationships with current college coaches: unless they ask for contact with a parent or the conversation is about things on which only the parent can comment, they do NOT want parental involvement. I have been told specifically by a couple of coaches that they consider it bad form and (right or wrong)a poor indicator for the future independence and strength of the student. This is not debatable; I’m not saying they’re correct but this is in fact what they said to me. Of course it may vary from case to case but when in doubt, stay away. This is not to say that your child’s correspondence and interactions can’t be vetted, edited, and guided by you but stay out of the line of sight.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>There shouldn’t be anything that that you can’t ask your son to ask the coach, so no.</p>
<p>If you have questions about the school, financial aid, etc., you can call the admissions office.</p>
<p>Otherwise, IMO, everything should go through S.</p>
<p>Agree with everyone who advises that parents should not email coaches. Your child has to learn how to deal with the coaches on their own terms.</p>
<p>I’d modify myluckydog’s statement slightly: since fa and admissions are not generally the same, I’d call the financial aid office rather than admissions with questions related to financial aid–but first I’d read the college website closely as I found the answers to many of my questions there–and the financial aid calculators quite accurate.</p>
<p>At least for Ivies if you are an athletic recruit you do everything through the coach. So far we have never initiated direct contact with FA or Admissions.
I (parent) had many email exchanges with the coaches but they were all limited to the finaid topic. Everything else was handled by the recruit.</p>
<p>CCD: Our experience was different. The coach initiated the process at our son’s request and, I think, forwarded the fa pre-read to us in but otherwise made it clear that they considered fa none of their business–that they hadn’t even read the emails from fa but just forwarded them on. I had two phone calls directly from fa, and they told me to contact them if I had any further questions. Also Ivies. I agree with you about admissions though.</p>
<p>I agree with classicalmama about fa.</p>
<p>Let me add a little perspective - if S is the next Carl Lewis, feel free to email the coach all you want, S will still get an offer from the coach.</p>
<p>It’s when you get farther and farther away from this level of talent (and your emails get more frequent) that you run the risk that if it’s a toss-up between offering S or another kid whose mom didn’t email the coach (or emailed the coach fewer times), that the coach may chose the other kid over S.</p>
<p>Communications between parents and coaches can take many forms- face to face conversations, telephone conversations, and emails. Coaches understand that parents can have a great influence on the college that a highly sought after athlete selects. That is the primary reason why coaches will tolerate, or in some cases encourage, communication with parents. I have often wondered why a coach who had the cell phone number of a recruit would call the recruits house. The coach may feel that calling the recruits house may stimulate discussion about the school between the athlete and the parents.</p>
<p>I agree with others that communication between coaches and parents should be very limited. If an unofficial visit is going to be arranged for a younger athlete then it is ok for the parent to email the coach to work out the final details. At a national championship meet a brief conversation between the parents and the coach may be appropriate if the coach has already expressed serious interest in recruiting the athlete. If the coach would like to have a more in depth conversation then the parent should follow the coaches lead.</p>
<p>The admissions committee at the Ivy my son is targeting as his first choice says that the coaches will make recommendations of student applications to get an early read on, but questions on financial aid go to their office or the FA office. </p>
<p>I’m pretty much a busy body, but the most I will do, and I do it rarely, is write up what I would want my son to email the coach and he reviews it and changes it as he wants to. Since he was about 12, his club team coaches have told both parents and players that the player should be the only one talking to the coach, not the parent. That would be more true about a 17 or 18 year old.</p>
<p>If you actually met with the coach, an emailed thank you letter would be appropriate on your own behalf. Otherwise, let your kid ask, or again, maybe you should be asking admissions or financial aid. As much as I would want to trust my son’s prospective college coach, I have to say I trust the admissions and FA offices moreso than a coach who might have three kids with the same first name…</p>