Parents/Kids - Who chooses the college?

Parents Forum
101

<p>I'm going to respond before I read what others wrote, so if I say something weird just chalk it up to that fact :)</p>

<p>My husband and I are the only ones out of all the kids in both our families [together we have five siblings] that went to and graduated from college. We also came from two separate ends of the college spectrum: H: Started at one school because of athletics, finished at another because of injury, paid for all of it by himself working while he went to school; Me: Only applied to one school, got in, loved it and had it all paid for by mom and dad, worked in the summers for fun money.</p>

<p>Even before we had children we agreed on one thing, we don't care where, we don't care what is studied, but we are adamate that our children go. I said, "We'll match what they earn and save", H said, "We should pay for all of it and we'll also direct where they go somewhat."</p>

<p>Fast forward to reality of today when college is upon us [oldest is a soph in HS]. We still say go anywhere but just go, but now we say, "Do your part to do what you can to get some money through scholarships, etc. But then we'll figure out how to make it work from there." We don't believe in debt as a general rule[all we have is our house mortgage that is pretty small], but an education and the experience of those years is the one thing for which we are willing to acquire some debt.</p>

<p>D is putting us to the test in the area of "study whatever you want" as she is interested in either being a fashion photographer or a musical actress [neither one what some people might call "practical"] but since her dad and I are self-employed we say, "do what you love and we will always help you figure out how to make money."</p>

<p>Once she goes, we'll have four years to figure out the S's path. Currently he wants to be a chef, as his favorite show is Iron Chef right now. Anyone know a good four-year cooking program???</p>

<p>So bottomline, they'll be limited by the world soon enough, dream now while the dream machine is still under warrentee! :)</p>

102

<p>Believersmom,</p>

<p>some of the best meals I've ever had were prepared by graduates of the Culinary Institute of America (<a href="http://www.ciachef.edu%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.ciachef.edu&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p>

103

<p>My parents would love me to stay at home and go to the local university or at least, to stay within the region and do as I like. They haven't played any role in my actual applying to colleges other than taking me to the post office to buy stamps and envelopes. I've spoken to them on a number of occasions about colleges and they've told me it's fine to apply to a faraway school and they express their worries. It is difficult to get any more out of their conversation - none of our relatives nor any of my siblings have gone out-of-state or anywhere a significant distance away from home. Without a definite answer, and with the knowledge that it is difficult to iron out all of the details of a process my parents are completely unfamiliar with because there are no definite constants and no room for any serious discussion, and with the knowledge that it is in their preference to procrastinate my options- I will likely be one of the broken hearts in spring if I am accepted to some of my top picks - I am unsure of how they will respond if those details are in my favor and will need to apply at any rate. </p>

<p>My older brother, who is now in graduate school and is one of the first to do so in my family and as a result of this, has a much wider, louder mouth than before, plays a significant role in the direction of my life. He will influence my parents, as he usually does in my affairs, and will steer me in what he believes to be the correct direction for he is a stubborn mule and is completely indifferent to my opinions and feelings because from what he knows, I am just a "silly teenage girl who does not know what is best for her."</p>

<p>Perhaps it is true. :rolleyes:</p>

104

<p>Our situation was a bit unique in that my son had a specific interest that somewhat limited the schools to look at.</p>

<p>I loved doing the college research; my son literally did not have as much time to spend as I did (at the time). So my (parent) role was to research schools that would seem to fit his needs and forward suggestions of schools for him to look at. Maybe I was too involved, but the process worked for us.</p>

<p>I came up with a list of about 10 schools that had what he seemed to be looking for. I had a couple of secret favorites, but I tried to be somewhat neutral as I passed information along to him.</p>

<p>I wanted him to be in a big city (lots of great experiences to be had), but didn't really push that on him either. And that never happened anyway.</p>

<p>We visited several of the schools on the list (and lots of others just to get a feel for various campuses and school sizes). We were going to make a west-coast trip to visit schools there, but he found his "place" before that trip. So many of the campus visits were ho-hum, but it turned out that when we set foot on the campus of what turned out to be his #1 choice, the whole family fell in love with the place almost immediately.</p>

<p>The only problem was that the program that he wanted to be in (Honors Tutorial College) was unbelievably competitive, and he had to pass through a whole process, culminating in interviews for the finalists for the few spots. We were so happy when he was accepted.</p>

<p>Now for the best part: it was my secret favorite based on the research I had done, and they offered great merit aid.</p>

<p>Worst part: It's sooooooooooooooooooooo far from home.</p>

<p>He's a freshman there and comes home this weekend, and so far, everything has worked out beyond our fondest hopes.</p>

105

<p>Congratulations dig that he got into the college that he wanted. We were travelling this summer with my son and his friend to visit in laws in NC and son fell hook, line and sinker for NC Chapel Hill and we are OOS! Also his cousins live in TX and attend UT and he visited their dorm during a home game weekend. Longhorns to the Rosebowl! and spent the night and loves it there too. Hello!?! He's chosen the hardest to get into out of school states. Yikes! Heartbreak ahead? Probably.</p>

106

<p>I had zero input other than listening to D. She developed her list. I questioned one school (MIT) because she's not a math/science kid and got a 10 minute explanation of the top professors in linguistics. After that, I just accepted that she had her reasons for each and every school on her list. I probably influenced her to add Rice because of interium decision.</p>

107

<p>LakeWashington and Emeraldkity: can we take the UW discussion to the UW thread? I want to hear all that you have to say about it, because it's our safety for D, and her suburban Seattle public high school GCs tend to focus exclusively on the U.</p>