<p>I would like to hear from parents as to how Smith helped, changed, influenced, etc. the lives of their gay children. The good and (hopefully not) the bad. If you do not feel comfortable speaking here, PLEASE PM me.</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>Upstatemom, while my daughter is straight and we have PM’ed about a number of issues, I just want to say that I hope you receive a response. Please let us know if your request has been met.</p>
<p>I’m not a parent, but a gay student who graduated 5 years (!) ago. I found Smith to be an extremely supportive place for gay students (and students who thought they were straight but occasionally/exclusively wound up dating women, students who thought they were gay and but dated men, people who didn’t want to date anyone, bisexuals, etc. etc.). It was so remarkable to have friends of all different sexualities; we were excited about whoever our friends were dating, regardless of gender! Northampton is an amazing environment where I saw queer people everywhere–schools, churches, the grocery store, city hall, etc. It made me realize that there’s no particular way to be a lesbian–I could lead my life however I wanted to.</p>
<p>And that’s a big part of what I gained from my college experience, in many ways separate from my sexual orientation. I learned what academic subjects interested me (Latin? religion? STATISTICS?? who knew?), became a better cook, a better student, a better friend and daughter and girlfriend. I tried rock climbing and kayaking and spent summers in Washington DC and Montana. I learned how to speak with greater poise and share my opinions with people who disagreed (including being on a committee that made some extremely unpopular decisions, and then having to sit on stage at an all-campus meeting while people railed against it). I listened to different kinds of music and worked with the women in their nineties who came back for reunion and had a pretty varied group of friends. An internship helped set me on my current course (I’m now an attorney at a nonprofit), and Smith even provided a generous scholarship towards my graduate work. I think all of this would have been true had I been straight; my best friend from college is a huge Smith booster (and she now lives with a wonderful boyfriend so clearly 4 years at Smith didn’t warp her romantically or anything). But I loved never having to change pronouns in the stories I told or whisper when I was telling a friend about a crush.</p>
<p>Thank you CarolynB, I have received some PMs on this issue.</p>
<p>Stacy–thank you for your honest response.</p>
<p>Stacy’s eloquent post matches what I’ve heard from many sources.</p>
<p>I’ll echo stacy’s post. As a queer student, I have found that the best thing about Smith in terms of sexuality in general as well as LGBT identity is the sense that it doesn’t really matter. Being a hard worker, being open-minded, being academically curious are all infinitely more important than who you date, which is remarkably refreshing.</p>
<p>This sense of tolerance and open-mindedness also translates into students being encouraged and comfortable speaking up - about their personal experiences, about their thoughts on politics, about social injustices, etc. - and this opening up, especially about something usually considered so taboo such as marginalized sexual and gender identities, leads to respectful discussions about almost all issues, including queer rights and community.</p>
<p>Speaking as the parent of a straight daughter who had a few lesbian friends, I was impressed with the inclusiveness of the Smith community. Granted, I have an outsider’s vantage point; however, it seemed to me that the LGBT students and the straight students don’t divide themselves into separate units the way they might elsewhere. Of course, the students will gravitate toward those who are most like them, and sexual orientation is a factor – but that’s just one point of many. Smithies are more interested in who you are and what you think than which niche you fit into. College is not high school, and Smith is not just any college.</p>